A Mother's Place is in the Wrong.

Remembrance Sunday.

2011-11-13T08:43:00.000-08:00

Today has been a beautifully warm and sunny day - what a contrast with many Remembrance Sundays; so often it is grey, rainy and very cold - the sort of weather that makes us think of those poor young men in the trenches in both the terrible World Wars. They were soaked to the skin, often sick, always hungry and in fear for their lives, with no hope of home comforts, and so many of them never to see home again. It never fails to make me cry. The poems of Wilfred Owem are so explicit in describing the suffering those men and boys endured - and I find it all the more amazing that he could actually write poetry about it - one thinks of poetry generally as refined somehow, lifting the soul and casting a kind of spell over the world. But in his case, the dreadful conditions and the suffering are all too clear:

" Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge..
..Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind."

This from "Dulce et Decorum Est", for me the most moving of his poems which tells so clearly what horror War was, and is. God help us when we think that men still go to war, fight and kill each other. I'm tempted to say, "For what?" Yet I know that those brave (and not so brave) men believed in what they were doing - at least until the horror and futility of it overwhelmed them. Or until it killed them. But I'm afraid it will never make sense to me.

On a brighter note, Daughter, Grandson and I whizzed off to the Car Boot Sale at the Marina this morning. It was the most perfect day, and we pottered, bought a few things, shared a bacon sarnie and generally enjoyed the sunshine. Then we came back here to sit in the sun - at least Daughter sat in the sun while and Grandson played with the boys next door and I finished off the outstanding gardening jobs. I have dug over the new vegetable bed, moved the herbacious plants to their new homes and replanted all the spring bulbs which had been displaced. Fantastic. I've even planted a few raspberry canes, and the purple sprouting broccoli plants given to me by my Aristocratic BF. I'm planning a couple of rows of potatoes,some parsnips, spinach and carrots, and then some salad crops, like radish and lettuce or mixed leaves. I'm also going to fill a pot with nasturtiums (we can eat the leaves, flowers and seeds) and plant sweet peas (inedible but gorgeous) on some trellis along the back of the rows. It's a nice plan, and I only hope I can make it work.

First Birthday Beano...

2011-11-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

As I walked this morning, the sea was flat and grey, covered by a grey blanket of sky. A moist and misty Monday morning (jolly good alliteration, I think!) which reminded me of one of my truly terrible jokes which used to make the children groan: "Tomorrow will be Muggy, followed by Tue-gy, We-gy, Thur-gy and Fri-gy." I know, dreadful, but it used to make us laugh. Actually, the joke originated from Bob Monkhouse, years ago, and he did have some awful jokes...

Enough of that, what I really wanted to tell you was how Beanie's Christening and First Birthday Party went. Yesterday morning we all drove to the pictureque little church of St Peter in Upper Beeding for the ceremony, which was part of the normal morning service. I must say that I have never been to an "Anglican high church" service before. It was all greek to me - I didn't know any of the responses and so couldn't really get into the swing of it. I sang the hymns though - at least the ones I knew, and enjoyed the sight of Beanie crawling very fast up to the altar and getting in on the act. The actual baptism itself was lovely and Beanie seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards we all had coffee in the church hall before driving back for the festivities at home. Lovely Downstairs Neighbour had organised food and drinks (despite having a stomach bug the day before and no sleep for about a week). I made jellies and did a few sausage rolls, another friend made some perfect cup cakes and LDN (excuse the abbreviation) had managed to produce a gorgeous Birthday cake, iced with a little boat on the top and some candles. Loads of her family were there, plus the usual suspects, friendwise, so it was a very jolly gathering, and Beanie resolutely refused to sleep in case he might miss some of the fun! Of course it's not actually his Birthday until tomorrow (8th), so we have to have another little gathering to sing Happy Birthday again and actually cut the cake. I'm looking forward to that.

Had a gorgeous cup of hot chocolate with another BBF this morning, in our new Patisserie Valerie in Hove. Poor BBF is having a horrible time recently because her husband is very ill. I try and see her once a week to cheer her up a bit, but I don't know how much good it does! She is looking very thin and worried (naturally enough). Patisserie Valerie is a huge temptation; the pastries and fruit tarts are just divine, and I noticed this morning that they had those little Portuguese custard tarts I love so much. Next time I'm definitely having one; just don't mention the diet...

I see two ships...

2011-10-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

This morning the sea was different again - it's never quite the same twice, and when I walk most mornings there is usually something to note. Today there was a deep bluey-green, almost steely look to the water. A big tanker, leaving harbour, was moving very slowly and looked just like a black paper cutout solidly silhouetted against the flat horizon. Further along I saw a yacht with one white, billowing sail which cut through the line of the horizon like a Japanese paintbrush stroke. Very graphic. My walk was invigorating as always, and the wind was cold enough to warrant a scarf snuggled around my neck. Somehow that makes all the difference. And I so look forward to the hot shower afterwards.

Today (Saturday) is sunny but cold and as I have Grandson here I'm not walking by the sea. It's also Lovely Downstairs Neighbour's Birthday, so we're about to write her card and give her a presie. I have also volunteered to babysit for her this evening so that she can go out and celeberate with friends. That's easy-peasy because it usually involves me sitting here with a glass of wine and the baby monitor - though maybe Beanie won't be so obliging tonight! We'll see. It is going to be his 1st Birthday next month, on 8th November - I can hardly believe a whole year has gone by so quickly. He is still called Bean or Beanie, although his official name is still Gabriel. This should all be resolved when he has his Christening/Birthday Party on 6th November, Lovely Downstairs Neighbour will then finally decide on his names and the order in which they appear. As you may (or may not) recall he has been Bruno Gabriel and Gabriel Bruno, though still no-one calls him anything but Bean! It's a tricky one :-)

Half Term is upon us, and Grandson has had a very good six weeks at the new school. Yesterday there was a Harvest Cafe after school, where various cakes anad goodies were on sale. I contributed some of my Crabapple Jelly, some Spooky Cupcakes and a few other bits and pieces. It was very crowded and great fun. We ate cakes and then watched a film made by last year's Year 3. Grandson also had a brand-new, shiny gold Headmaster's Sticker, given for for his homework. All in all very satisfactory. Afterwards we went to the Skate Park for a freezing (for me) half hour. Amazing how much the weather has changed in just two weeks. Then it was home for fish and chips. I was so cold that I needed something warm to hold, at least that's my excuse...

The last Pimm's of Summer..

2011-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

What a glorious week of weather we have had, culminating in two days of 30 degree temperatures this weekend. Of course we spent it on the beach, as did thousands of others here in Brighton - in fact in 9 years here I have never seen so many people out walking along the promenade and swimming in the sea. We had picnics on the beach on both Saturday and Sunday, Daughter, Grandson and I, and also swam in the sea along with everyone else. Grandson is a positive water baby and was in the sea for about three hours on Saturday and two hours on Sunday! The only thing that stopped him was the fact that he had scratched his stomach because he wouldn't stop surfing onto the shingle! In spite of the hot sun and clear blue skies, there was a lovely breeze and very big waves crashing onto the shore, so it was an exciting thing to be doing, but by Saturday evening he was really sore, and on Sunday he was pretty much black and blue. He had a good go of his Boogie Board too and that was slightly less painful. Anyway, great fun was had by all, and we retreated to my balcony at about 4pm on Sunday and sat in the sun with the last of the Pimm's, watching the sun go down. Not surprisingly, Grandson collapsed in front of the TV and we didn't hear a peep out of him. When they went home he apparently crashed out and slept like a log. We all felt that we had made the most of the glorious weekend - what a great ending to the Summer - unexpected and all the better for that.

It was also the last of the Shoreham Flyover Car Boot Sales on Sunday, and of course I didn't want to miss that. It was almost too hot to walk around, and lots of people had brought their umbrellas to use as parasols - what a good idea: I wished I had thought of it. The field was packed with sellers, right down to the bottom, and again, I had never seen so many people out and about enjoying the sunshine. We found some lovely bargains, and I saw lots of things I would have bought for my imaginary antique shop!

As I was driving back to go to the beach, Son phoned from Poland. I told him that we were enjoying Mediterranean weather and temperatures and he sounded rather envious!
They were due to fly back on Monday, so I guess they are back in London now, though I haven't heard from him yet

My students have both gone home - the unpleasant Austrian vegetarian went home on Saturday morning (hurrah), leaving her room in a disgusting state and full of rubbish for me to clear up (not that I was surprised). She was possibly the most humourless person I have ever met (and that's saying something). I didn't know that she was vegetarian until after she arrived, but gamely took it on and cooked her what I thought were inventive and varied meals for two weeks. In return I got not one "thank you", she came down later and later for breakfast every day without a word of apology, and pulled a frightful face at me when I asked her to clean her bathroom at the end of the two weeks! By contrast, the other Student was a really nice Russian man, a chemist, who was unfailingly polite and charming, and always told me if he was going to be in or out. He also took every advantage of being here in England: he made two trips to London, went on a theatre trip to see "Phantom the Opera", took coach trips to both Cambridge and Stonehenge and and spent his last Saturday going to Leeds Castle and Canterbury Cathedral. He left on Sunday morning and was obviously sad to go. Of course he left his room and bathroom immaculately clean. Ah well, students come and students go, and you never know what you're going to get.

I think that's about it.. Summer is really over now I guess. I can bring in the parasol and the geraniums from the balcony and look forward to a cosy Autumn...

Happy Birthday to Son..

2011-09-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

Son's Birthday today - he is 32 - and he's in Warsaw with his polish girlfriend. I did get to see him on Wednesday; we had a lovely lunch sitting in the sun outside a London restaurant and I took him a couple of presies and a little birthday cake. It was great to see him looking so happy and positive, especially when I think back to last year and how deeply "in the wrong" I was for most of the summer. Ah well, life is made up of changes.

This year I feel much more positive too - which is, I think, an indicator of just how much my children mean to me: last year I was unhappy because Son didn't want to communicate with me and Daughter was not terribly happy, and having problems adjusting to being on her own again, and though Grandson wasn't too unhappy, he was certainly still feeling insecure. Now, though, Daughter is also feeling more positive and happy, the new Boyfriend is turning into a regular boyfriend, the job is turning into something she feels happy doing (though she is also thinking of doing a PGCE so that she can teach and have the same holidays as Grandson) and Grandson is happy as a flea at his new school.(Yesterday he came out positively skipping with happiness, and proudly showing off his certificate from the Headmaster, which said he's had an excellent start at Elm Grove School!) So, either I'm pathetically attached to them, or just more honest about it than most - either way, the fact is I'm happy when they're happy. Pick the bones out of that one...

Whether the weather..

2011-09-12T03:03:00.000-07:00

There's what you might call a stiff sou'westerly blowing down by the sea today. Huge greeny-sludge coloured breakers with dirty cream tops are hurling themselves onto the shingle in a spectacular display of what looks like very bad temper. It was a magnificent sight as I dodged along, seeing very few other brave walkers. One woman I passed, wrapped against the wind and rain, said just one word as we passed and smiled at each other in complicity: "Wonderful". Indeed it was. And although it's far from gale-force winds today, I was reminded of that night in October 1987 when the whole country was lashed with 'unexpected' gales.

We were living in Cambridge then, in fact had recently moved into our new house, and the gales came as a complete surprise. Son and Daughter were then 8 and nearly 6 respectively, and as the noises from outside were so frightening, they climbed into bed with me at about 5am and we cowered under the duvet until getting up time. Our house overlooked the Cambridge Botanical Gardens, so you can probably imagine the devastation that greeted us. I think the Botanical Gardens lost about half of their mature trees that night. Closer to our home, a huge branch had been ripped from the horse chestnut tree in our garden and lay lengthwise along our balcony. Luckily it hadn't been blown crosswise, or we would have had all the windows smashed and half a tree in our sitting room. Several branches from that and other trees had been blown across our roof and into the Mews outside, but we were relatively untouched. As it turned out, we had a smallish hole in the roof which was attended to without much trouble. All the roads, parks and gardens around were littered with bits of tree and roof, and many people and houses had been injured and damaged. Several poor people died when trees landed on them or their cars or houses. And I remember that my ABF's cat-slide roof was blown right off. It was all very scary and we counted ourselves pretty lucky to only have the inconvenience of closed schools and no public transport for a couple of days. We even had a phone call from the Ex that morning, to check if we were still alive! It was probably wishful thinking on his part, but sadly for him, we were all fine. Hard to believe that was 24 years ago - history really. Let's hope these winds subside without doing too much damage.

Good news on the school front from Grandson. He has had nearly a week at the new school and seems pretty relaxed about it. I've been collecting him after school and if his responses are anything to go by, he's fine. The usual answer to the question "What did you do today?" is "Nothing".. and that's just what I've been getting. He has two new friends, plus a girlfriend (not sure of her name, but she is "beautiful") and he is eating all his packed lunch every day. So far, so good...

Perpetual Motion...

2011-09-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

"Oh it's a long,long time from May to December" so the song goes, but we're more than half way through and time is just galloping. Now we're into September and the new School year is about to start. This means that Grandson is about to start at his new school, which will be his third in three years!! He first went to Powell Corduroy in dreaded Dorking for just over a year, then to St. Aubyn's in Rottingdean for a year and a half, and now he's due to start at Elm Grove Primary on Tuesday. He is both excited and nervous, which I really understand. And I do hope it will be a good place for him.

The other day we were also counting up the places he has lived, and it was quite an impressive total for a seven year old. He started life in Wakefield (1), moved swiftly here to Hove (2) when he was four months old and his father disappeared, then they moved into Son's flat in Brighton (3) and lived happily there for a couple of years. Next they left Brighton and moved to Dorking (4) with the ex-boyfriend (big mistake - huge). A year ago last Christmas they moved swiftly back here to Hove (5) where they stayed with me for 7 months, and then moved into a shared house in Hanover (6) with Daughter's friend, which lasted precisely a year, and they have now moved into a flat on their own, also in Hanover (7), which is near his new school. Bless the boy, that's 7 homes in 7 years. I bloody hope this one sticks, because they could both do with a bit of stability. It's no wonder he loves coming to stay here with me; I guess it's the one place that doesn't change in his little life.

I have been on a mini-jaunt up to London this weekend to stay with a London BF. I drove up in brilliant sunshine, and we had some lunch in her lovely garden before walking round the corner to see an open-air performance of "The Importance of being Earnest". I love Oscar Wilde, well, I love his wit,and it was a very good and funny production. We sat with glasses of wine and laughed in all the usual places. Then we sat in her garden again, catching up on all the gossip until it was almost dark. This morning we breakfasted in the garden again, and then went to a London Car Boot Sale where the heavens promptly opened and soaked us literally to the skin! Sadly, it meant we couldn't meet up with Son for a drink, as we had to beat a hasty retreat and change into dry clothes. Never mind - though I did mind really, I so wanted to see Son, however briefly, because his busy working schedule and his jet-setting back and forth to Poland (I actually wrote Pooland there!) and his girlfriend mean that we see very little of him. And he's off again very soon - he's flying to Pooland on his very Birthday (16th September). Carole King said it perfectly in her song "Far Away". "Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?" Me and Grandson too - we both need a bit of solid ground...

Oh I do like to be beside the Seaside..

2011-08-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

It's the last of the Bank Holidays until Christmas, and I can hardly believe how quickly the summer has flown by. The weather has been a bit iffy, sunny one minute and rainy the next, but we Brits are used to that, and we carry on, on the beaches with our picnics and sea bathing. I do wonder at it sometimes, but it's certainly true that we are a hardy bunch: we go out equipped with rugs, windbreaks and umbrellas, plenty of towels and sandwiches and the usual sense of humour, which really helps. If only we had one of those enviable climates which are reliably sunny in summer it would be lovely, but then I suppose we would be overrun with even more tourists than usual. Ho hum, I guess we have to be content with what we have!

Today being Sunday, I met up at the Car Boot Sale at Shoreham with Daughter, Grandson, lovely Downstairs Neighbour and and her son Beanie, and an equally lovely Swedish friend of Daughter's. We were a very merry lot and tracked down various bargains while the sun shone after which we sat with bacon rolls and tea and chatted very happily. Only a sharp shower of rain sent us all scurrying, and I then spent 20 minutes sitting in a queue of cars to get out of the field! Such fun.

Son is in Poland for the Bank Holiday weekend, with his Polish girlfriend, where they are going to a Music Festival in Katowice, so he won't be at the Notting Hill Carnival this year for the first time in about 5 years. I think that's possibly a good move, because people are predicting more trouble than usual this year. Who knows, but I do hope not.

I went down to the sea for a blowy walk this evening: it was wonderfully bracing, with "white horses" racing onto the beach as far as the eye could see, and kite surfers out in large numbers taking advantage of the perfect wind conditions. There were great piles of dark clouds with snowy white summits looming over the Downs, but the rain held off while I was out. How lucky I am to have the sea on my doorstep!

Finally, I'm not about to go on about the football this weekend, since my beloved Spurs were totally hammered by Manchester City yesterday. The only slight sweetener is that Arsenal were hammered even harder by Manchester United today. But we really have to do better this season...

We're all going on a Summer Holiday..

2011-08-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

We really are having a very good time this summer, despite the uncertain weather. I'm spending a lot of time with Grandson, and this year it's much easier. I guess because he's not such a little boy any more, and doesn't need a constant supervisory presence. Anyway, for whatever reason, it's much easier all round. Daughter has booked Grandson into the local Sports Centre, for general activities, two or three days a week. And on the other days, he comes to me and we amuse ourselves. This year will surely be remembered as The Year of the Skate Park because that is where we have spent most of our time. Actually he skims around on his scooter, which seems to be the ride of choice this year. There are still plenty of hardy skateboarders of course, but the majority ride these little scooters with tiny wheels, and they really do some amazing tricks on them. I'm becoming something of a connoisseur since I watch so much of the action, and it's certainly great exercise; some days we spend as much as four hours there, and he barely stops for a bite of a picnic roll or a gulp of water. It's great to see him so passionately involved. He's made a few friends there too; one is Johnny, a tall and expert skateboarder who is probably about 15, and is genuinely nice to the smaller boys. He and Grandson do "high fives" whenever they complete a tricky manoevre and chat away all the time, with Grandson following Johnny around like a little disciple. The other good friend is little Harry, who is only six and quite small; he has a really deep voice and is very good at big jumps on his scooter. He is also very funny and makes Grandson laugh a lot. Because he's having so much fun, it's always a problem to get Grandson away at the end of the day, but eventually I manage it and he staggers home, bright red and sweating from his exertions (unless we've had a dip in the sea or the paddling pool, both of which are handy). He then eats everything in sight and falls instantly asleep after we've had a story. Great!

Last week, on Thursday, we had a change of scene and drove out to see two of my BFs (the ones who live in a wonderful old house in the middle of National Trust woods). We had been invited to go for the day and to cook our own pizzas in their terracotta pizza oven in the garden. What larks! My BF's Husband, was terrific; he chopped wood with Grandson, gathered twigs to start the fire and showed him how to measure the temperature on the floor of the oven. In the meantime, we mere women were preparing the pizza dough, chopping the toppings (tomatoes, olives, mozzarella and chorizo) and making salad from the freshly cut lettuce. It was such fun, and I don't think Grandson will ever forget it. He was sliding the pizza in and out of the oven, on the paddle, and then there was the unforgettable bit when we all sat at the table and actually ate everything they had made. Yummy. And he also cooked our dessert pizza, which was topped with thinly sliced apples (fried in butter first) and home made raspberry jam. Double yummy. Of course we grown-ups had lovely wine to go with our pizzas, and then Grandson was off again, digging potatoes and washing them under the outside tap, and cutting beans for us to bring home. What a day! At the end, my two lovely BFs were on their knees. They don't have any grandchildren yet... I bet they slept well that night too...

I think I'm about done for tonight. I have a few days off now because Daughter and Grandson are driving to France tomorrow (crossing by ferry from Dover) and meeting up with the new Boyfriend who is working on his brother's house out there. It sounds lovely, and Grandson is very excited about putting the car on the boat and about speaking French! I'm quite excited at the prospect of going out for a glass of wine with a BBF tomorrow evening and saying goodbye to my last Student on Saturday morning. Roll on that lie-in on Sunday morning.

Happy Days...

2011-07-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (Wednesday), was one of my lovely London days, which I must say are few and far between lately. However, as it was one of my days off (from Grandson) I scooted up to Town to luxuriate in a quick visit to Peter Jones and then a much longer look at the Summer Exhibition.

Dipping into P.Jones for a cup of coffee is always a delight, and sitting in the top floor cafe next to the window you get simply the best free view of London's rooftops (well, the coffee actually costs £2.50, but who's counting?). Anyway, after that refresher, I tootled off to the Royal Academy on the bus, and skirted round the lovely water splashes which are constantly bubbling over the stones in the Courtyard. Such a nice idea and it obviously delighted the children, who were running and splashing and generally having a wonderful time in the sunshine. Once inside, I headed for the ticket desk and asked for a Senior ticket for the Summer Exhibition. Imagine my delight when the young man on duty asked me for "proof of age, please". I laughed and asked if he was serious, then produced my bus pass - but a woman standing behind me was terribly miffed. "He didn't ask me for proof of age" she sniffed:-)

I missed the Summer Exhibition last year, so was very happy to make it this year. I always start off with the intention of doing it justice, but there is just so much to absorb that I have to take a break half way round, and usually end up feeling exhausted. This year was no exception. As always, my favourites are the smaller prints and paintings, and this year there were lots of animal subjects - funny I know, but there's usually some sort of theme, and this time it was animals, and lots of dogs! The nicest was a little black and white etching of "Morandi's Dog" having a good scratch - very funny. I also spotted a frog, an armadillo, a turtle and even a polar bear. My favourite though was a small lino cut, very Eastern European in style, printed in black and white and called "Driving Rain": a little man on a motor bike is splashing through driving rain and guess what it's raining? Cats and dogs!

They've done something awful to the Royal Academy restaurant. I was so looking forward to having lunch there in one of my breaks, but it has changed for the worse. It used to be bright and light, with artistically painted walls and lovely food to choose from. Now, however, it's dark and rather forbidding. There's a maitre'd who smarms up with a big menu (with big prices) and it's table service or nothing. I voted for nothing and went to sit in the Courtyard, in the sunshine,with a sandwich and a ginger beer. I do wonder who is responsible for these "improvements" however, I can't imagine that anyone who used to eat there regularly (or even once a year, like me) would consider this makeover an improvement. All they've succeeded in doing is turning a lovely, welcoming space, which served really good food, into just another posh, overpriced restaurant

After my culture overload, I staggered off to meet Son for a drink and a chat - we needed a catch-up as I hadn't seen him for a couple of months. He was looking very well, as he's just back from a holiday in Croatia. He has been jetsetting around as he was in Cannes in May, back and forth to Poland since then (which is where his new girlfriend hails from) as well as the Croatia trip. He's planning to take a Sabbatical of sorts next year (not for a year, but for a few months). I think it's such a good idea, I asked if I could go along too! Maybe not, but I do think it's a great plan. Anyway, it's something I wish I'd done when I was young...happy days.

Student City..

2011-07-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the student season has started in earnest here in not-so-sunny Brighton. My first Summer student arrived on Sunday (which was very hot and sunny actually) and though I was expecting a young woman from Switzerland, I wasn't prepared for a 22 year-old Turkish Muslim who lives in Switzerland (was in fact born in Switzerland), speaks German and Turkish and whose family run an Italian restaurant in Berne! Beat that! That has to be the most multi-cultural situation I've ever encountered all in one person. She is extremely nice too - very polite and we will get on famously I'm sure. She is here for six weeks and will be joined next Sunday by a man from Brazil, a mature student of 44, who is an English teacher and is coming to brush up on his English teaching skills for a couple of weeks. After him comes a Russian girl for three weeks, so we have a full house for six weeks altogether, and no doubt it will be a pretty full-on cultural experience too. With any luck we can also expect a few laughs language-wise along the way!

Added to that, it's the start of Grandson's summer holidays. He finishes school on Friday and is actually leaving St. Aubin's, which will be rather sad for all of us.
Never mind - it was exactly what he needed when he and Daughter moved back from dreadful Dorking, and now he is quite ready to move on. The lovely teachers in the pre-prep could not have been better, and we have chosen presents and cards for Grandson to give them. Tomorrow is Sports Day, so we are hoping for a bit of sunshine so that we can enjoy the races and our picnic. Afterwards there is the Class 2 end of year performance, The Enormous Crocodile, in which Grandson is playing Humpy-Rumpy the Hippo. That just leaves Friday to say goodbye to everyone, and I expect there will be a few tears. Luckily though he is not the only one leaving - there are four going altogether, for different reasons I'm sure, but I'm equally sure that lots of families are really feeling the pinch when it comes to affording something like private school these days!!

Time for bed. Must be up bright and early to make ham rolls and cook sausages for the picnic. Oh, and I've bought some of those gorgeous little pork pies to have with our salad. Yum yum, pig's bum (oops, don't mention pork, ham or bacon for the next six weeks, or sausages, and certainly not pigs...:-)

Family Matters...

2011-06-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

Oh god, this weather is really getting me down. Most days this month it has been gloomy and grey, no sun and certainly not warm enough to sit out on the balcony. On the good side, it has rained at last, (rather a lot) and I have been able to get into the garden and actually do something. The pond has filled up at last, and so the big tadpoles have something to swim in; they really are enormous and I wonder if they are actually toadpoles rather than the froggy variety.

Familywise, there is a big get-together this weekend, though I'm not included! The occasion is a visit from the ex-husband, accompanied by wife No.4, all the way from New Zealand. Daughter and Grandson met up with him Friday here in Brighton (not actually here in my house) and they all went to buy Grandson a belated Birthday present and then out to dinner. Then today, Daughter, Grandson and the new Boyfriend are all in Essex for a big reunion with ex-husband's brother, wife and family, which includes a son and daughter and their children (two each)! Phew. Quite a crowd, and I really hope that they have a great time. Son will be joining them too, either today or Sunday (I'm not sure which), and Daughter and Co will be staying in a hotel overnight tonight. Surprisingly, I feel rather "left out", which is strange given that I really wouldn't want to spend time with the ex. I think it's becaused it's a family reunion and I'd very much like to see all the others and catch up with all their news and stuff. That's me of course, quite contrary... Ah well

Instead, today I have had a visit from my ABF who drove over from Sissinghurst to collect her Birthday present (a lovely pink bush rose called Clare, which I found at Rushfield garden centre, just over the Dyke). She came bearing masses of gifts, as she always does: some gorgeous black cherries from the farm, and some brown eggs, plus rhubarb from her garden. We had a nice lunch here and then watched Royal Ascot on TV. My ABF, being very aristocratic, knows a lot about racehorses and trainers etc, as she used to own and run horses in a previous existence. She still follows the racing news, is very knowledgeable, and knows lots of the people involved so it was interesting watching with her, and I did enjoy the other bits such as the fashions and the hats. What a lot of money there is sloshing around at these events! Obviously not everyone is feeling the pinch!

Afterwards we went for a very windy walk down by the sea to get a bit of fresh air. My goodness did we get fresh air!! The sea was very rough, a cold greeny-grey, and we were practically blown away by the fiercest easterly wind. It was pretty cold and we had all the breath blown out of us, so we soon gave up and turned for home. And to think that next week is the Summer Solstice.. the 21st June and the longest day.. To be perfectly honest it feels more like winter here and I'm still taking a hot water bottle to bed every night!

The Tooth Fairy and the Birthday Boy.

2011-06-03T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not proving the most regular of bloggers I know, in fact I'm worse than ever, but the latest piece of news from my lovely downstairs neighbour is that baby Beanie has his first tooth! I can't believe how time flies - five minutes ago he was a little newborn and now he's bouncing, rolling over, eating chicken and sweet potato mush and generally growing into a proper little boy. Amazing. And he really is the sweetest chap, very smiley and lovable. I must also tell you that he very quickly lost his first name (which was Bruno if you remember) and became Gabriel (close to Christmas, little Angel!) Beanie (he was called Beanie before he was born, and it just sort of stuck). Anyway, those of us who are close to him call him Beanie, with Gabriel saved for more formal occasions. If he has any imperfections, there is just the little matter of sleeping through so that his poor Mum can get her beauty sleep. Never mind, nobody's perfect!

Speaking of growing up, my beloved Grandson was 7 years old on Monday (30th). He is really almost as tall as me, though that's not saying much I suppose. Daughter arranged a great Birthday Party for him, at a friend's house.She booked a big bouncy slide and invited lots of friends with their children.I made masses of assorted sandwiches and bought two Birthday cakes. Well,one was in the shape of a football, iced in black and white sections, and the other was actually a tower of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Fabulous. I hadn't eaten them before (proving just how long you can live without trying something so scrumptious) but will definitely have them again. My favourite is the chocolate covered one with little chunks of fudge on top and a gorgeous custardy middle. Pure heaven. Anyway, the party was a great success; Son came from London, Daughter's new Boyfriend came with some friends of his, and various friends of friends also appeared with their assorted children. I'm not sure who enjoyed the bouncy slide most, but it certainly amused everyone: after the requisite amount of alcohol had been consumed the adults were running up the slidey side and jumping down it with what used to be called gay abandon (sadly, no-one uses the word gay in that context any more). Great fun. I came home at about 5.30, with Grandson, and we chilled out for the rest of the evening, leaving the others to finish the food and drink. Enough, as they say, is as good as a feast...

P.S. Before I go, I'd better assure you that the alcohol was consumed by the adults, not the children...

PPS. Grandson's favourite presents were: a Scooter (from Daughter's new Boyfriend) a Kite (from Son) and a Whoopee Cushion (from me:-)

Royal Wedding Blues...

2011-04-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

I suppose today is as good as any to re-start my totally stalled Blog! Royal Wedding fever has been at a high pitch and, though I'm not an avid royalist, I do like a bit of Romance (with a capital R) and a classy Wedding Dress. And you must admit it was a classy dress - very classical and sculptured and entirely beautiful. Actually my favourite dress was the one worn by the Bride's Sister - it was utterly wonderful. I didn't stay tuned for the whole ceremony, I'm afraid, because I find all the high church stuff rather, well, stuffy. But I gawped at the guests, particularly the Beckhams, (on TV of course) and watched the highlights when they were re-played during the evening. I did think of Princess Diana though, and imagined that she would be watching over her boys as they conducted themselves with typical self-contained and good humoured composure. Sad, but she would have been proud of them I'm sure. I always think of my Mother as sitting up there somewhere on a fluffy cloud and playing her harp (not that she ever played the harp when she was alive:-) so maybe Diana is doing something similar. Who knows.

Anyway, it's good to be back. Reading over my last entries, I was completely absorbed in my Kitchen makeover, which is now well and truly completed and seems like a distant memory. I think I was unreasonably obsessed actually - maybe not surprising when you consider how central our kitchens are to our lives. But it was finished in time for Christmas (just) and I was rushing around right up until the family arrived the day before Christmas Eve - in fact I ushered the Builders out of one door as Son, Daughter and Grandson appeared through the other. Phew! We had one or two teething troubles (i.e water from the washing machine all over the floor on Christmas morning, and again on Boxing Day morning) and the Builders seemed to come back on a regular basis for a few weeks, but on the whole it was, and is, fine. They have been great at sorting out any little wrinkles, and I'm very pleased with the result. I am now (very belatedly) sorting out my photos, plans, descriptions and receipts. I know I promised to put some of this on to show you, and I will get around to it, but life has been rather hectic in between then and now.

Where to begin? Well, Daughter has had a busy time since Christmas, changing jobs and boyfriends at an alarming pace, but seems OK at the mo. Son is fine, but has also had an eventful few months: he has split up with his girlfriend, and is moving (selling his flat and buying another one in London on his own). He is still in the same job though, and seems pretty happy and positive. Grandson is great, nearly 7 years old (on 30th May!) and is going to be moving schools again at the end of the academic year. Plus ca change..

So I have spent my time accommodating the changes, fielding Grandson as and when necessary, writing the odd article for the Estate Agent, and feeding and watering foreign Students occasionally. My last was a 77 year old Polish professor of History.
He remembered the War vividly, and told me how he was "removed" from his family by the occupying Germans when he was 12 years old. His sister, who was 13, was also removed at the same time, but sent to a different family. He never lived with his parents again, and said how terrible it was. He also said that he was "lucky" because the family who took him in were kind to him - and that the fate of his family could have been worse. Apparently they were saved from a much worse fate because his Mother spoke very good German, and was therefore useful to the occupying troops. He also reflected on the fact that, after the War, the Americans had naively handed Poland over to Stalin in the belief that he would honour his commitment to treat the Poles well. I found this all fascinating, and his stay (only two weeks up until Easter) was not only a lesson in recent history, but very interesting and entertaining. He brought me a bottle of special Polish vodka (with Bison Grass, whatever that may be) and enjoyed his visit, and his food, with equal gusto. His jolly sense of humour and enjoyment of life were quite astonishing when you consider what much of his life has been.

Before I go and check my Lottery ticket, I must tell you a bon mot I heard last week at the Garden Centre. I was sitting with a cup of coffee, minding my own business, when I overheard a couple of women at the next table discussing a mutual friend who was obviously very mean. One said to the other: "If fresh air was tuppence a bag, she'd suffocate!"
Great! I'd never heard that one before...

I've seen the light!

2010-12-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

I'm now two weeks into the kitchen refurb, and with probably only one week to go. I'm really happy with the progress, though it has been quite stressful (for me) at times. I have to say that my lovely Builder shows no signs of stress at all, maybe because he is doing this all the time and knows the drill. I find making decisions for my house incredibly difficult, whereas when I was doing this sort of thing for clients, back in Cambridge, I had no doubts about choosing colours, fabrics or furniture. Choosing for someone else, especially when you have worked out a complete design scheme, is really easy. Choosing for yourself isn't and come to think of it, that's probably why so many people hired me to do their Interior Design for them!

Anyway, after painful deliberations I have now settled on a colour to paint the tongue and groove walls and on the colour for the ceiling and woodwork. This weekend I have also bought four castors for the small trolley, a classic ceiling rose, two fabulous over-the-top chandeliers, one for the kitchen and one for the entrance hall, in the special lighting event at BHS (and they were amazing bargains) and a lovely stainless steel pedal bin (a luxury item for me). Next I need a trip to Ikea to collect my chosen kitchen tap, some curtains and a curtain pole for the Dining
Room and a couple of their grey woven wicker baskets to try out on my new shelves.
So far, so good.

Christmas is galloping up now, and I'm doing pretty well with shopping and presents. I'm off on a flying visit to my ABF on Thursday as she is having her pre-Christmas lunch for a dozen or so friends. I'm planning to drive there on Thursday morning and back here on Friday morning - Daughter has promised to look in on the Builders to make sure all is OK. On Tuesday it's Grandson's Christmas Play which is being held in the local village church this year. He is very excited about this, as he is the one to introduce it. I'm so looking forward to seeing it, and singing carols with them. His end of term is Friday, so I'll collect him from school and have him here overnight while Daughter celebrates her Birthday with friends. She is going to be 29 on Sunday and is planning a whole weekend of celebrations. We're going to have lunch somewhere on Sunday and then she is having champagne with more friends in the evening. I'm hoping Son might come down for the weekend too, but that might not happen. We'll see.

I must say that, idle as I am, I'm really looking forward to being able to get up when I want and trundle around in my dressing gown again. At the moment I'm up with
the lark (or robin) and throwing any old thing on to welcome the Builder and make tea. Roll on my lovely new kitchen. You'll be happy to know that I'm keeping up my daily diary on the progress, and taking at least one photo a day, so when it's finished I'll be able to show you.

By the way, we had the funnniest snow here - very heavy and thick (at least 6 inches of lovely fluffy stuff) for a couple of days - with blue skies, freezing cold. Then it disappeared with the overnight rain on Friday and was completely vanished by Saturday morning. Grandson was terribly disappointed, but I can't say I minded too much...

Camping out at home..

2010-11-28T13:49:00.000-08:00

One week on and it's all going fine. The house is incredibly dusty and chaotic, but I'm actually getting used to it and I'm certainly not starving. I was invited down to my lovely Downstairs Neighbour for supper on Tuesday (Fish Pie and I took dessert plus dessert wine), and then went out to supper again last night (more Fish Pie and a wonderful raspberry and mascarpone dessert accompanied by a lovely Chablis and more dessert wine)! Actually I'm eating (and drinking) better than I normally would. It certainly sort of makes up for the chaos at home. And though I feel as if I'm camping out in my own house, it's not too bad.

The electrics are nearly sorted in my new Kitchen, and it's nice to see some of the tongue and groove boarding up already. On Friday my new appliances arrived, and they sit, ready and waiting, in my Dining Room. I've spent a large part of the weekend cleaning up the dust, which just gets everywhere, and then this afternoon I went out to the Garden Centre to have a bit of lunch and on to the Farm to buy logs (stocking up for Christmas) and some Christmas presents. It's blooming freezing here, though we've had no snow as yet, but I'm quite cosy as I sit here semi-watching tv and sorting out my Christmas list. I know what I want for Christmas: some new secateurs and gardening gloves, eight hour cream, a couple of pairs of coloured tights and the Beatles two "new" remastered cds. I think I'm quite easy to please.

Daughter and Grandson are fine. I picked him up from School on Friday, as usual, and brought him back here for the night. I gave him scrambled eggs, ham and baked potato for supper and then tucked him up in my bed. He had brought his school report home, and was a bit nervous about it, though there was no need. Daughter said it was just wonderful, and is very happy that they seem to appreciate Grandson for what he is - a great little character with huge enthusiasm for learning and life. And, as one of his teachers said, he has a good heart! That's my boy.

Son has not been well, though, and as I haven't seen him for a while I really miss him. I sent him a little "home comforts" pack in the post, as he said he hasn't been able to shake off a rotten cold. The pack contained Olbas Oil, Rescue Remedy and Vick's Vapour Rub - all the things I always kept at home for colds and flu and general poorliness. (I've still got an old Vick's in my bedside drawer that must be 10 years old!). And I added a bar of gorgeous organic dark chocolate. I hope they all make him feel better, and I'm really looking forward to seeing him at Christmas. It will be lovely to have my new kitchen, and all the family home for the holidays - even if only for a few days.

Bombs Away...

2010-11-22T03:21:00.001-08:00

OK, today it has started, and if I have been absent for the last week or so it's because I have been clearing and emptying my Kitchen and Dining Room in preparation for the works. God, I really didn't realize how much STUFF I have. My so-called Study is now piled high with boxes and bags containing all this stuff. What I'm going to do with it when the kitchen is finished, I just don't know. But I guess a lot of it will be heading for either a Car Boot Sale or charity shop. How did I gather so much mis-matched china or so many casserole dishes? What do I do with about twenty egg-cups? And a collection of about 10 teapots and coffee pots? Never mind, don't bother to answer that...

The two workmen arrived bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, just as I had finally cleared everything from the room - just remembering to empty the freezer at the last moment. I have taken photos this morning of the pristine empty kitchen before it was taken apart, and will take another photo at the end of the day to show progress. The people who are buying the units and the couple who are having the cooker will be collecting at the end of the day. Oh Joy! At the moment it's very quiet as the power is turned off and only one chap is working. My Builder has gone to move his truck and pay in my deposit cheque (don't worry, it's not a big one!). As I said before (I think) he did a kitchen for one of my BBFs last year, and made a great job of it. Not only that, but at the end of two months (it was a big job) he and my BBF were great friends - and still are. So he comes very well recommended and I feel I really have found the best man for the job! Fingers crossed.

I'm sitting in my Sitting Room typing this, with my belongings piled around me and wearing a cheap-as-chips track suit I bought in Primark yesterday. It was the brainwave of another of my BBFs as she said I needed something comfortable to throw on before they arrive at 8.30 in the morning! How true. I won't be looking too smart for the next couple of weeks, but hopefully it will be worth it...

My small brainwave this morning was to put wine (vital), water, milk and the coolbag out on the balcony so that everything stays as fresh as possible while I have no fridge or freezer. New appliances are being delivered on Friday (Fridge-freezer, Cooker and Dishwasher) so maybe by then I will have somewhere to put food at least.
In the meantime, it's fish and chips, Daughter and Friends and whatever I can scrounge. Somehow I don't think I'll be attempting to cook very much with only a microwave, toaster, kettle and single electric hob, not that they are restricting in themselves, but the space is! Cooking in the Study doesn't have much appeal somehow!

Just kidding..

2010-11-14T10:44:00.000-08:00

Of course, when I say starting on Monday, I mean not this Monday, but next Monday! That's builders for you, as my lovely builder said, with a wry smile, when he told me that his current job was taking longer than he had thought. Actually, I didn't mind too much as it means I get longer to pack up my rubbish (which is how it looks) and get everything into boxes or whatever. I can see now that I am going to be camping out for the three weeks it takes! Never mind, I know it's not for ever. I have now sold the kitchen units, including the fridge, freezer and dishwasher, which are all old, but still in good working order. The young woman who bought it all is very pleased with it, and brought her builder with her to assess whether he could adapt it to fit her kitchen. He was one of those great "no problem" builders (as opposed to the ones who suck their teeth and look doubtful) and said that he thought it was a bargain. Great. And it is. I may not like it, but it is very smart and in good nick. So, range cooker and kitchen sold, dining room cleared, courtesy of Daughter who is as strong as I used to be when it comes to moving the heavy stuff!

The funny thing was that my Builder (I'd better give him a capital letter as he is going to figure large in my life for the next month!) smiled for the first time when cash was mentioned! He is normally rather lugubrious and dusty, but his face lit up when he talked about getting paid in cash. Hilarious! Ah well, human nature will out...

Welcome to Baby Bruno.

2010-11-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

Well, that's his name for the moment, until lovely Downstairs Neighbour decides whether he looks like a Bruno or not. I have just been downstairs to see him, and he is rather Bruno-ish. He's quite large for a newborn (8lbs 10oz) and has dark hair, a lovely squidgy face and beautiful hands with long fingers. He did cause his poor Mum quite a lot of pain at his birth, as he was in a tricky position and didn't want to come out at first. What I didn't know was that she had to be rushed away to hospital at 6am yesterday, after a horribly painful night. Anyway, all is fine now, he has arrived safely and has simply caused his Mother her first lot of pain. Plenty more where that came from - and plenty of joy of course. Bless the boy.

I've sold my cooker - a rather smart Range Cooker which I have never liked - but am still waiting for a buyer for the kitchen units. Several people have been to look, but apparently it's difficult to get existing units to fit a particular space. Never mind, it'll all work out. My new kitchen sink was delivered today (a ceramic Belfast sink - bloody heavy) and I ordered the radiator, which looks like an old-fashioned school radiator, but is a new version with four columns. Lovely. At last I will have a warm kitchen. The builder is coming round tomorrow evening for a last minute meeting before he starts work on Monday. I'm still emptying cupboards and packing boxes. Heaven knows, I seem to have collected a lot of rubbish over the years.

Home, home on the Range..

2010-11-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Still no sign of a baby appearing downstairs! I know he's now overdue by 10 days, and my neighbour is keeping quite calm, but how odd that there has been no real sign of his arrival as yet! Or maybe not - I'm sure he will pop out when he's ready (though "pop" is probably not quite how one would describe it).

I'm beginning to believe that his arrival is going to coincide with the start of work on my new kitchen! This is still 10 days away, and we were hoping that by the time it started (with all the banging, dust, dirt and noise) he would be well and truly here and getting semi-settled. Ah well, the best laid plans etc.. The total bummer is that I have promised to prepare meals and help with babysitting, whatever is needed really during his first month. The babysitting won't be a problem, but for three weeks I won't have anywhere to cook, do washing or anything, as all my kitchen stuff will be packed away and my old kitchen will hopefully have been bought by someone. I have advertized it on Gumtree (including the range cooker) and have had a few good responses. And I have ordered my new appliances: gas cooker, dishwasher and fridge freezer. I'm keeping my existing washing machine as it's not very old and in good shape (I hope I don't regret saying that). I'm not having a fitted kitchen - I have decided to use my lovely old pieces of furniture and be completely un-fitted. I'm having the walls clad with tongue and groove,(painted a soft Farrow & Ball grey), a Belfast sink, solid oak worktops, an old-fashioned radiator, open shelves with baskets on them, a small table and chairs, and painted wooden floorboards. It's the kitchen I have been dreaming of for many years, and I finally decided to just get on with it. Not only that, but at last I will be able to have everything within reach (the old cupboards were far too high - designed and fitted by a bloke of course). I've taken before photographs, and will take some more during and after the works, so I might even be able to upload them for you to see. Can't wait!

I ordered my appliances online, after going up to Curry's to look at them; I don't really see how anyone could choose a cooker or fridge-freezer without seeing them first. Anyway, I did the same with my Belfast sink - Homebase had one but couldn't (or wouldn't) be specific about delivery. Much better service online - and free delivery - and I reckon I saved about £200.

There are fireworks going off outside as I sit here, but it's a foul night with blustery winds and rain, so I don't feel as if I'm missing much. Grandson is tucked up in bed, and that's where I'm heading:-)

Spooky...

2010-10-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

Grandson is getting very excited about Halloween. For him it's all about spiders, vampires, scary false teeth and trick or treating. He is going out with some school friends (and their Mums of course) to terrorise the neighbourhood, wearing his black t shirt with glow-in-the-dark skeleton (bought by me from M & S) and will be hoping to collect enough sweets and chocolates to make all his lovely new teeth fall out! Never mind..

For a change, I'm going out on Sunday night too - one of my BBFs is having a Halloween Party to celebrate her Birthday, and we have been given the chance to wear Fancy Dress if we want. I'm going to wear a gorgeous long black cloak I made years ago for Son to wear at Halloween. It was when we lived in Cambridge (so more than eight years ago) and he was going to be DJing at a local club. I sat and hand sewed this cloak from some black material I had, and lined it with some fabulous orange silky fabric. I gave it a gathered stand-up collar and a black grosgrain ribbon tie, and I was so proud of it. But guess what, Son didn't want to wear it. Anyway, it was so lovely I kept it. And after all these years it gets its first outing on Sunday. I bought a cute little cat mask (black velvet with sequins) to wear with it and I'll add a long black dress, high black heels and maybe my witch's broomstick? Sounds good to me.

My lovely downstairs neighbour is about to give birth - any minute really because her baby was actually due on Tuesday. She has decided to have him at home, and has created a wonderful "birthing" room with a birthing pool, fairy lights, and a comfy sofa with inviting cushions. I'm not part of her actual Birthing Team, which includes a Doula, her Midwife and two close friends. I have said that I will be on hand, though, if any extra help is needed. She has created a Birthing Plan as well, and is wonderfully organised. I remember when my first baby was born, and it could hardly have been more different; Son was due on 16th October, and decided to arrive exactly a month early, on Sunday 16th September 1979. So much for being organized. Thirty one years later I still remember every minute of that day and every year I phone him, sing Happy Birthday, and remind him that he woke me at 6am on that fateful morning. Ah well, let's hope my lovely downstairs neighbour will have a really good birthing experience and create some great memories too. Perhaps he will be a Halloween Baby...

Seaside Musings.

2010-10-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

The sea yesterday was a pale silver-grey with splashes of sunlight on the still surface. Lovely, and quite late-summery rather than Autumnal. In fact we have been having rather lovely weather, lots of sun and warm enough to walk by the sea every day and to sit on the balcony with coffee,lunch or tea. It sounds as if I'm always either eating or walking! And I guess that's not so far from the truth. I do feel very fortunate to be living here, because it doesn't seem to be the same everywhere. I often look North towards the Downs and see heavy black clouds leaning on the hills while we are basking in sunshine.

What do I do with the rest of my time at the moment? Well, I've been writing fairly regular articles for one of the local Estate Agents, whenever they want something a
little bit different - different from the usual fairly painful and banal property descriptions, that is (not to mention the painful grammar and sentence structure!). I quite enjoy doing these, it exercises the "writing muscle" a bit, though in a fairly limited way. And it does seem to be doing the trick - the agents are happy with what I write and their sales are going quite well. My other main occupation is to do a day's gardening once a fortnight or so for my lovely Therapist. This is great and very enjoyable, but she is in East Grinstead, so it's an hour and a half round trip and as petrol is so pricey just now, I don't go more often. It's only until winter sets in anyway, and while the ground is workable. Last week I worked for four and a half hours, mostly solid digging, until I could dig no more. My digging was made more enjoyable though by the delightful small ladies' fork I found at the Car Boot Sale last weekend. It was, amazingly, just £1, and is a complete delight to work with. I have also been choosing some plants and ordering hedging for her garden. Nice to spend other people's money, and get to see the results. In another existence, I would love to have been a proper gardener. What a wonderful life!

I collected Grandson from school on Friday and brought him home for the night. This has become something of a routine, and one which I am enjoying very much. He had had a really busy week at school and was happy just to chill out. We lit a fire (for the first time this year) watched a movie and ate sausages and mash.Perfick. Daughter came to pick him up on Saturday morning, and we all went for brunch in George Street. Today I went to the Car Boot again, on another lovely sunny morning, and Daughter was taking Grandson to a birthday party at midday. He went as Darth Vader, as the theme of the party was Star Wars. Very sophisticated these parties. I seem to have rushed around all day, and finally sank down at home with a cup of tea at about 5.15pm. Then the phone range and it was one of my BBFs asking if I had forgotten that I was meeting her at the cinema at 5pm! I felt really awful because of course I had forgotten - luckily she was not furious with me, which was better than I deserved. It's not as if I have a frantic social life after all, though I do have a busy week coming up. One of my London BFs is coming to stay on Tuesday, just for one night, and we are going out to dinner at L'Eglise for the first time in months. That will be gorgeous. On Wednesday I'm off to East Grinstead again for a day's gardening, hopefully putting in some of the hedging if it has arrived, and then on Thursday I'm planning a trip to London to meet Son for lunch. Great, I'm so looking forward to seeing him for a catch-up. On Friday it's the start of Half Term so I'll be picking Grandson up early from school and that will be another week gone...
At least life's not boring here in Brighton.

Bad Mother...

2010-10-06T03:33:00.000-07:00

That's me! I'm bad on all counts it seems: lousy Single Parent (the break-up was all my fault and I didn't sufficiently consider the effect this would have on my children thirty years later!) lousy grandmother (I tried so hard to compensate for the traumatic effects of last year's dramatic break-up on my Grandson that I
consequently lavished too much love and attention on him!) And just so lousy all round that I haven't seen hide nor hair of Son since Grandson's Birthday. True I've recently managed to squeeze the occasional text message out of him, and we did have one brief (but lovely for me) phone conversation on the day before his Birthday. The most frustrating aspect of all this is that I have no control over it whatsoever! I can't force him to speak to me, or to see me,(nor would I want to do that anyway) and I don't have the oppportunity to put my point of view about all this because he won't even read a letter if I write. I supppose that what I would lke to say is that, all those years ago, I didn't have any control over events either. I didn't exactly have children (and they are beloved children) with the anticipation of being left alone to bring them up, but as that was the end of the cheese I was left with, I just got on with it. I always loved them and yes, I did put them first in just about every situation (and it seems that was a crime too!). I didn't "provide" them with a new "Daddy" because I was never prepared to compromise either their safety
or their happiness in a step-parent relationship. And I take full responsibility for that. Of course it was bound to be wrong in the long run, although then I simply put all my energies into protecting and loving them, and providing what I believed was a happy and normal environment to grow up in. WRONG! Now, it seems, it wasn't normal, only a "two parent and 2.4 children" situation is normal?? And only that kind of family life can produce a balanced, normal human being? The queries are all
mine. I saw plenty of completely dysfunctional "normal" families while my children were growing up, and maybe that's why most of their friends chose to spend their free time at our house. They didn't have the "normal" stuff to deal with at our house, it was just me: single mother, working from home so that I could be around whenever needed, cooking meals, feeding their friends, saving for holidays, getting angry from time to time, dealing with dramas, taking them to football, brownies, tennis, you know, all the "normal" stuff that families do. And make no mistake, we were a family. Only three of us, I know, but as Daughter now says, "The best damn family ever." Maybe that's a slight overstatement, but at the time I thought it was O.K. I did what I thought was right for everyone. Sorry about getting it wrong, but I thought I was getting it right. It's only now, with the benefit of thirty year's water under the bridge, that I can see the cracks. At the time I was just getting on with life. But, d'you know what, I hadn't then realized that a Mother's place is in the wrong :-)

B & B, that's me!

2010-07-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sitting here at 10.15pm, having had a rather exciting evening. I was expecting a new Foreign Student, and she duly arrived from Genoa at about 5pm; a very pleasant young woman, 23, nice and polite. She came bearing gifts from Italy in the form of food, mostly: two packs of genuine Genovese pasta, some fresh pesto (which tastes divine) and a pack of "pandolce", which I've never eaten before, but which looks dericious:-) It's for sure that we won't go hungry.

Anyway, there we were at 7.30pm, sitting eating a simple supper (salmon fishcakes, new potatoes and lots of vegetables, followed by gorgeous little chocolate pots) when the phone rang and it was one of my BBFs who was giggling away, and asked me if my double room was occupied. I had to admit not - though it is now spotlessly clean and ready for visitors - and she asked if I would take two nice people she had just met, Belgian cyclists, who were looking (rather desperately) for a place for the night! Well, what could I say but "Why not?", and before I knew it I was making up the bed, finding towels etc and welcoming these two people in. What larks! Brighton is that sort of place though. I have to admit that they were taking a chance in hoping to find a decent B & B on a Friday night, in Summer, in Brighton, and without prior booking. Luckily they found first Mary and then me - it could have been very different. So here I am with a house full for the night, ready to be up with the lark to make breakfast for three, and looking forward to having a bit of extra cash for the weekend. Nice surprise.

Good Intentions all round.

2010-07-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling that I've just passed my third Blogging anniversary - how time flies. Though I must admit that my blogging record has been abysmal so far this year. Generally, since I bought my Laptop, I don't use the computer nearly so much - which is a bit of a mystery really. I thought that I would use it more because of the ease and convenience of having the laptop, as it were, on my lap! This is not how it has turned out - I used to look forward to sitting down at my desk in front of the computer screen and writing, but I just don't have the same feeling any more. Don't know why. Anyway, I have fallen short in many other areas too - I'm not writing at all, except for the occasional piece of copywriting (which doesn't really count as creative writing) and my E-Bay activities have also ground to a complete halt. Of course I have had Daughter and Grandson here for just over 6 months, and didn't really have space and time to myself in the same way. So let's hope I get back to more productive times again soon. Whatever hapens, I have to stop making excuses!

The other thing I must do is spend some time catching up with all my Blogging friends. Just like "real" friends, they need and deserve my time and attention, and I've been a very dilaltory and absent "virtual" friend for the last six months I know. Aplologies to all, and I promise to pay visits, make comments and generally behave better.

My poor garden is "drizabone" and in desperate need of a good shower of rain; I got the new curly hose out to water it this evening (the outside pipe and tap has been fixed courtesy of my lovely downstairs neighbour's lovely friend) and had a naughty ten minutes spraying the plants and topping up the pond. Actually I'm not sure if we do have a hosepipe ban here at the moment - but if we do, enough people saw me this evening, so I may be reported.

Weather permitting, I'm off to the Shoreham Flyover Car Boot Sale in the morning, picking up my BBF on the way, and I think we're meeting up with Daughter and Grandson there for a bit of mutual bargain-hunting, followed by a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie sitting in the sun. "Perfick", as Pop Larkin would say.

Time Out..

2010-07-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

House to myself. A pile of washing and ironing, beds to change and an eerie peace.
Daughter and Grandson have moved out - gone to share a house in Hanover with an old school friend of hers who is training to be a Barrister. Not that that fact is particularly material. The most important thing is that they are old school friends from Cambridge days and will hopefully get on well together.

At least they aren't far away - about ten minutes driving if the traffic's reasonable, and since I'm looking after Grandson three days a week in the holidays, that's perfectly do-able. Actually it's really nice because I get plenty of time to do my own stuff and still keep up with him and Daughter, without us being in each other's pockets.

To backtrack a bit, Grandson had a really good Summer Term at school; he acted in his class play and concert with great gusto (he knew everyone else's lines and songs as well as his own), and it was a delight to see his shining face onstage - he enjoyed performing so much. He has worked very hard too - he learned to read and his writing and spelling have improved hugely. And to cap it all, he had a really impressive school report and lovely comments from his Teachers. He ran in the races on School Sports Day (he got a first, a second and a fourth),after which we had a picnic on the field in glorious sunshine. So a good time was had by all. And Daughter and I took him out for dinner to celebrate his end of term. Lovely - and now we're in the eight weeks holiday!!

Great Summer weather so far - we've had picnics on the beach and we've made a kite to fly down on the Lawns. I'm still doing regular gardening days for my Therapist and some copywriting for the local Estate Agents, plus improving my Brighton suntan. And I'm planning a trip up to London soon for the Summer Exhibition and a whizz round on the London Eye (I believe it's called a flight, which is quite scary).

Time for bed - I'm pleased to have caught up a bit. Night,night, sleep tight and don't let the bed-bugs bite...

June already!

2010-06-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

Here we are at another Bank Holiday - at least we were yesterday. And on Sunday it was Grandson's 6th Birthday. Where, I'd like to know, has the month of May gone, never mind the last year? I suppose it has gone the way of all time, all the years, months and days of my life. And too quickly.

I could give you a run down on what has happened during May, but somehow it doesn't seem worth it. I'd rather look forward than backwards. So it's Half Term for Grandson, and he and Daughter have gone away for the week. They are in Cambridge for a couple of days and then driving down to Devon with the new Boyfriend for a 60th Birthday celebration (his Father's, who is divorced, remarried and has one new baby and another on the way!). I can't even pretend to keep up. Anyway, they all seem happy enough, so what's the problem?

Son and his lovely Girlfriend came down for the weekend, to help with the Birthday Party and to just chill for a couple of days. They have both been frantically busy recently, with Son spending a week in New York on business, and the Girlfriend going to Vancouver to see her parents and trying to keep up with work at the same time. They certainly live at a fast pace and they both looked very tired when they arived. Two days, a Birthday party, and a Barbecue later, plus lots of sleep and relaxation, they both seemed a lot better. Son is off to Cannes in a couple of weeks, for the Advertising Film Festival, so that will probably be another wipe-out. His Girlfriend has decided not to go this year, wisely I think..

My garden is looking lovely now that we have had some rain - at last. Last week the pond was down by about 6 or 8 inches and the frogs were poking their heads out in desperation. I borrowed my lovely downstairs neighbour's outside tap - mine is still not fixed - attached my hose, and topped it up. Sure enough, next day it poured with rain all day! The plants were all at their last gasp, so it was a real blessing. And this year I have the best Oriental Poppies ever, with huge orange tissue-paper heads and very black centres. They are stunningly beautiful next to the tall green Euphorbias and my "Black Barlow" Aquilegia. Luckily I very rarely water my garden, so the roots go deep for their moisture, instead of sitting near the surface. It's strange, but I think the extreme temperatures of last winter, which killed so many plants, have somehow produced some wonderful flowers from those which survived.

Hail June - let's hope it will bring Summer weather for us all to enjoy. We haven't had any really warm weather yet, and we are very nearly half way through the year. My Brighton BF has gone off to Turkey for three weeks in search of the sun - let's hope she has found it. I miss her and our regular Cocktail outings, but we'll soon catch up. And I'm off to stay with my Aristocratic BF on Thursday for a few days. Sissinghurst Garden is lovely at this time of year, and it's just around the corner from where she lives. I'm just finishing up a bit of work (copywriting for the Estate Agents) before I go, and really looking forward to a break. I love the drive through the countryside at this time of year; the rhododendrons will be out, and there will still be cowslips and a few misty bluebells in the hedges. The Cow Parsley is at its best now too - an ugly name for such a beautiful flower - and blowing in the wind. I guess I'll feel a bit like Mr.Toad of Toad Hall, bowling along the country lanes, "Poop Poop!"

May Day, May Day...

2010-05-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

Another Bank Holiday and it's uncharacteristically quiet around here. Daughter and Grandson have gone to Cambridge (again) to stay with a "friend" for the weekend, and so I have the place to myself. It's been raining today so I've spent the day clearing up and cleaning indoors, while watching the rain outside with delight. Ahh, gasped the garden, and my pond positively gurgled with relief. I've watched the water level going down relentlessly (we had no rain at all during April), and have worried about the plants, the tadpoles and the frogs, but they seem to be OK. I uncovered the hiding place of one tiny little chap while I was cutting back the overgrown water plants - he was hiding in the roots of a particularly large plant - but he hopped away quite cheerfully. And the tadpoles continue to grow apace. I was just about to start watering the garden before today's rain, but discovered only yesterday that last Winter's big freeze has left me with two holes in the pipe to my outside tap which render it unusable. Dammit, I'll have to get it repaired or else trust to the heavens to water the plants. Hmm.

Yesterday was a beautiful day, and I wandered up to Kemp Town with one of my Brighton BFs. We passed the May Day "Childrens' Parade" on the way, as it meandered through the Lanes, with loud music and very excited children dressed in various costumes. I was reminded of the time Grandson wanted to join in, dressed in his Superman suit, and walked all the way, following the Parade, when he was only two! He's already providing me with memories and he's still only 5 (or nearly six as he constantly reminds me). Anyway, back to our walk in Kemp Town, where we bumped into Gay Friend who was beautifully dressed as always (bright pink jumper and matching scarf). I do wish he would cut his hair though, because it's a very long, greasy, greyish pontytail which he tucks into a hat (usually) and which sometimes escapes. If I'm really truthful, it makes me feel rather queasy - it's not attractive at all and I'm tempted to take a pair of scissors to it! That would probably be the end of our friendship though. After this encounter we spent a happy half hour in the Antiques Flea Market (where I bought a lovely retro 60s tray for £1) before sitting out in the sunshine to share a toasted ciabatta, a bottle of sparkling water and an almond bite. What a lovely morning it was.

Then yesterday evening I was invited to one of the Private Views that abounded because of the Artists' Open Houses which are a regular part of Brighton's Festival. It was very nice really - my downstairs neighbour's Artist friend is exhibiting with another artist across town - so there were lots of familiar faces, and some very tempting pictures. I may well go back and buy one of the limited edition prints of a stormy Brighton sea and beach; they were beautifully done and affordable as far as my budget goes - which is not very far. There was lovely food and wine too, and good conversation which mostly centred around babies because two of the friends present are pregnant.

Well, that's about it for catching up - though I haven't yet told you about my last trip to London to visit another BF, or my latest foray into copywriting. So much to do, so little time.

Keep on Running...

2010-04-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first full Brighton Marathon, and it was a really wonderful event. The race actually went past my house (twice), so we had a great view of the proceedings, and also had the benefit of no traffic at all during the day. Grandson and I were up betimes, and swept and tidied the balcony so that we could put out the chairs, tables and cushions and see everything from our vantage point. It was a glorious day too - very fortunately - and our neighbours were setting up a party in their front garden next door. We put out flags, made breakfast, and waited for the runners to appear. The race started at 9am, and the first runner flew past our house at 10 minutes past 10! What an amazing performance. We were at the 25k mark, and I found it incredible that anyone could run so far, so fast! He looked very fit too. Anyway, soon enough the road was completely full of runners, joggers and walkers, all running for their own chosen Charity, and for the next three hours we watched, cheered and clapped them on their way. We had probably the best view possible and sat in comfort, with Buck's Fizz at hand, enjoying the spectacle and the sunshine. When it all moved on to the Seafront, we repaired downstairs to the party next door, and enjoyed a barbeque, a few drinks and some party games. Grandson had a fabulous time playing with the older girls, and it was quite hard to drag him away in the end.

Last Thursday I went up to London for the 50th Anniversary Celebration of CDP (Collett, Dickenson and Pearce), the famous Advertising Agency I was privileged enough to work at in the late 60s. It was a grand party, and I had found the perfect dress and shoes to wear, so I felt pretty good. There were lots of old faces, some recognizable and some not. Luckily though we were all wearing labels, so if you couldn't recognize a face, you could hopefully read a name. It led to some comical situations, but on the whole it was great fun, and I hope I can put some photos on for you to see. I was staying in London with Son and his girlfriend, which was lovely, so I got a taxi home at 11pm. They have a very comfy spare bed which I just fell into and slept very soundly. Next morning we all had boiled eggs and soldiers together in their sunny kitchen, before they went off to work, leaving me to shower and then potter off to meet Sister at Patisserie Valerie in Old Compton Street. Bliss. After some perfect coffee and a Croque Monsieur I headed home on the train, tired but very, very happy. Oh what a busy life I lead!

Hearing Things..

2010-04-07T02:58:00.000-07:00

No wind and a pale dawn sky as I walked along by the sea this morning. The only sound was the soft, insistent shush-shushing of waves breaking on the shingle - and of course the soft insistent ringing in my ears, which frequently accompanies me these days. No matter, it's just another of those sounds which I can block out most of the time, like the incessant cries of seagulls which used to wake me at 4 in the morning, or the chug-chugging of buses waiting at the traffic lights outside my front garden. Nowadays I seem to choose what I hear, like the birds singing while I'm gardening, and a couple of weeks ago it was the frogs croaking, very loudly, in my pond. They all turned up for the annual frogspawn-fest on the first day of Spring. There were at least 10 quite large frogs, not sure if they were in pairs, but there was an awful lot of frantic activity going on, which we watched in total fascination, and it has resulted in a pond full of frogspawn. Lovely.

I remember that as a child I used to lie in bed and listen to the train chugging (yes, it was a steam engine) along the single track "Pull and Push" railway which ran between Romford and Upminster, stopping at Emerson Park Halt along the way. To catch this train at Emerson Park we had to walk half a mile up Osborne Road, and as the road ran parallel with the railway line, we could guage the train times precisely, and knew when to break into a run so that we didn't miss the train. Going to Primary School also meant walking up the road, in the opposite direction, to cross the railway. There was a black cinder path which led up to the railway line, and a simple wooden stile to cross on either side of the line. Then we walked along a criss-cross of cinder paths and alleys to get to school. I can't imagine that those paths are still there today - it would be considered far too dangerous. But in those days we all did that walk and crossed the railway line at least twice a day. Of course a steam train was slower, much more visible and pretty noisy. And we knew that the train ran along more or less every half hour, so I guess we had the train timetable fixed at the back of our minds. In any case, I can't remember a single accident happening along that line in the 20 years we lived there!

We actually lived in Osborne Road and the line ran along the back end of our garden. The railway bank was a great place to go for having adventures, and Sister and I regularly climbed over the fence to explore. Most of the time, though, we just didn't hear the train - it was another of those sounds that disappeared into the background. But to this day I find the sound of a train comforting when I'm lying in bed. And, funnily enough, most of the houses I've lived in have had a railway line within (faint) earshot. In Cambridge we were backing onto the Botanical Gardens with the train station close behind, though not too close. And even here, in Hove, I can hear the train in the distance some nights or early mornings, when there are no other competing sounds. It's quite a way away, but I guess my ears are tuned to that particular comforting and familiar sound.

By the way, one thing I am listening to is Chris Evans in the morning (sometimes) on Radio 2. He has stopped shouting, and has made me laugh a couple of times. He's no Terry Wogan, but I need a bit of light-hearted banter and some music while I'm ironing. So I suppose I have capitulated - but anything is better than the non-stop bickering between the political parties that's currently wall-to-wall on Radio 4.

Family Fortunes...

2010-02-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

Time for a new look at life, I think. Daughter and Grandson are still in residence and we're OK, but the best news is that Grandson has now started school. It's the small Private School (where Hon. Grandaughter goes to school too) which is lovely.
So far, so good. It remains to be seen how long Daughter will be able to afford this, but it is certainly the right thing at the moment. He's very lucky to be getting such loving care and attention, and so let's hope it will last. Perhaps I should set up one of those funds on the Internet which asks for help with Grandson's school fees? A bit cheeky maybe :-)

One step at a time. Tomorrow (Friday) is Daughter's last day at her current job in Leatherhead. This means that she is going in to work tomorrow and then out for drinks and a curry with her workmates. So she won't be home until Saturday morning - and this is further complicated by the fact that her car (the bright red convertible monster) is very sick indeed and needs big money spent on it to put it right. So she has to go to work etc on the train and won't have the car back until Monday or Tuesday. Which means that not only am I on extended babysitting, but I will also be doing all the school runs (and everything else involving transport) until then. Do I sound as if I'm whingeing? I think I do, and I probably am. All I want is a bit of freedom and a social life. It's not that I had a huge amount going on before all this happened two months ago, but at least I could choose what I did with my time. Oh, and did I mention that Daughter has gone out on a date this evening too? No? Maltesers are my comfort and my (fast-disappearing) companions. And before you say it,I know that I'll miss them terribly when they are no longer staying with me. Then I'll be whingeing about not seeing enough of them. There's no pleasing some people.

I have lots of stuff waiting in the wings though - a visit to Aristocratic BF in Sissinghurst, which will be blissful. A trip to London to have a bit of lunch with Son, and maybe do a couple of Galleries. And two London BFs who are asking me to go and stay when I can get away. My Student is here until 20th March, so I probably won't be doing all of that just yet. But it is great to have something to look forward to.

You will be proud of me when I tell you that I have been trying to listen to Chris Evans on Radio 2 in the mornings. Not that I'm doing too well. The most I have managed is half an hour so far - I wonder what Sir Terry Wogan is listening to?

Er, Happy Birthday Mum..

2010-02-11T13:55:00.000-08:00

Today, February 11th, would have been my Mother's 100th Birthday! Fancy that. She was born in 1910 (of course) and had a life so different from mine that we could have been a couple of hundred years apart. She had to leave school at 14 (though she loved it) and go into service in a rather grand family in the country. She was allowed to go home once a year! And she had to send her wages home to her Mother. She had one afternoon a week off, started work every morning at five a.m. and was not allowed to speak to her employer. It sounds like the Dark Ages doesn't it?

My Mum was one of eight children and the family lived in Tottenham (we are all Spurs supporters). She had a lovely singing voice and whenever she was at home she went to church regularly and sang in the church choir. Of course she lived through two world wars too. She was only four at the start of WWI and 29 in 1939 as WW2 began, with me as a six-month-old baby. I can't imagine what that might have been like. She was very lucky in that none of her family died in either of the wars. My father had only one eye as the result of a childhood accident, so he didn't get to go to war. He was an Air Raid Warden instead. My only memory of that war is of standing on the back door step of our house in the pitch dark, yelling for someone to take me down to the air raid shelter. I was very small, and probably very frightened, though I don't think I was in any immediate danger - we only had one bomb drop locally in Hornchurch, and that left a very neat hole in the ground which was just the size of the house it demolished. I can't remember anything about casualties. But I do remember that we were only allowed 2 ounces of sweets a week - when I was older of course - and we had to queue up for them at the corner shop. Happy Days..

The other Anniversary today of course, is the 20th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's release from prison. What a great survivor he is, and what a wonderful example to us all in this gritty old world. He embodies the triumph of hope, truth and a fine trust in the goodness of humanity. He is, amazingly, 92. Let's hope he makes it to 100.

Things are looking up..

2010-02-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

At last, it seems, we have turned a corner and there is positive movement in Hove. It has been a bit of a muddy struggle up till now, but last week a couple of positive things happened. Perhaps it's Planetary Movements. First, we had a letter from the Education Authority, which in brief stated that there was no chance of Grandson getting a place at any of Daughter's stated preferences, offered him a place at a school miles away, and followed this with a not-very-veiled threat by saying that if she didn't accept said place, they would be wanting to know how he was being educated. Pish! The result was that, far from being intimidated, she decided that we would be pro-active and go and look at the school Hon.Grandaughter attends, which is a lovely, small private school in Rottingdean. We went for a look around on Thursday. I already know the school becaused of my connection with KT and Hon.G. I've been to concerts, Sports Days etc over the last few years, and know that it has a homely atmosphere, dedicated teaching staff, and wonderful facilities. Anyway, they promptly offered Grandson a "taster" day on Friday and he just loved it. Of course it costs money, but Daughter is prepared to cough up a bit to get him settled in a comfortable and encouraging educational environment. Fingers crossed that it all comes right.

On Friday evening I had a phone call from probably my oldest living friend! He and I met when I was at Romford County High (now that is going back a bit). He played in a small group: the Terry Graham Trio, which included my friend Terry as the drummer, the late, famous Graham Bond (before he was famous) on saxophone and their friend Colin on piano. It was a Sixth Form Dance and I hung around watching the band until I had an opportunity to talk to them. As a result, I ended up singing with them occasionally, at Weddings, Socials, Dances and the like, and we had such fun for a few years, before life became serious and we all went off in different directions. Then later Terry and I both worked in Advertising, as copywriters, though he was immeasurably more talented than I. We sometimes lost touch and sometimes found each other again. But we still have a friendship that is based on many happy memories of good times shared. The latest news is that we will both be going to the 50th Anniversary Celebration of CDP in April. (That's Collett, Dickenson, Pearce, which was without doubt the most creative and famous Advertising Agency of its time.) And Terry will be playing the drums again. Now that's really something to look forward to - though of course I haven't got a thing to wear.

Then it was my Birthday on Sunday. My old Blogging friends will know that I just love Birthdays - and on this occasion I wasn't disappointed. Two thirty a.m. and I was woken by Grandson, who was sleeping next to me, and wanted to be the first to wish me a happy Birthday. He sang it beautifully, and we had a cuddle and both went back to sleep. Later I had tea and biscuits in bed, courtesy of my lovely Daughter, and sat like a Princess opening cards and the most wonderful presents. One of my Brighton BFs came round with more cards and presents, and I felt thoroughly spoiled. Daughter had also made me a Birthday cake (chocolate sponge and soft chocolate icing!) and so we had a cake to take to London with us. Daughter did the driving, and we met up with Son and his Girlfriend to have a perfect Sunday Lunch in a cosy pub near the flat. Grandson was so excited to see his big Uncle, and we had a lot of laughs. There were more fabulous presents for me, including a small collection of exquisite sea shells from the beach at Koh Samui. And we had a blow by blow account of their holiday in Thailand, the Wedding, and Son's DJing at the Festival of Light in Bangkok. Phew. What a fantastic day it was - no wonder I feel better.

More of the same...

2010-01-27T13:49:00.000-08:00

My good intentions are swiftly falling by the wayside. I'm just so busy most of the time, and when I finally sink down at the end of the day, I simply don't have the energy or inclination to tap out a message to you all. Shorthand would seem to be a good idea, if only I knew it, and if only you would understand it! Anyway, we are rubbing along here, still trying to sort out a school place for Grandson - at least we have posted the preference form and will hope to get a reply before too long. My lovely Daughter is now working out her notice at her current job, as it would be too impratical to carry on driving from Brighton to Leatherhead any longer than is necessary. She is working three days a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and I'm having Grandson on those days. Emotionally we are up and down, naturally enough. And I'm, quite frankly, exhausted. (I think that was a split infinitive, but I'm too tired to care!)

Sorry if this is boring - lots is happening, but it's all so emotionally charged that it slips out of my head as soon as it has happened. I can't seems to retain anything for long. I can't remember quite what I did yesterday, and last week is completely out of the question. This is probably all for the best.

Meanwhile, Son and his Girlfriend are on holiday in Thailand, where they have gone for a Wedding and holiday combined. Son is going to be Best Man for an old friend of his (from Cambridge days), who now lives in Australia. The Wedding is this Friday and will be lovely, I'm sure. Son phoned us last Saturday to say how wonderful it is there. They are staying in a blissful hotel on a blissful beach, eating fabulous food and they actually thought of us. Son said that he thinks we should all go there on holiday together. Yes please.

January is nearly over, and it has been a strange old start to this New Year. Full of impossible emotional dramas and stuff that can't somehow be contained. I hope the next month will be an improvement. Anyway, the fire is burning low, my eyelids are drooping again, and I have a new Foreign Student, so will have to be up bright and early to do breakfast in the morning. Life, as they say, goes on. And thank heavens it does...

Diary Update..

2010-01-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

These are very interesting times. Since Christmas we haven't really moved far, but so much has been going on under the surface that it doesn't seem to matter. My house has gone from lovely, pristine, cosy and welcoming for Christmas, to overstuffed, very untidy and full of plastic bags with their contents spilling out all over the place. It hasn't helped that my lovely occasional cleaner, Monika, has been more absent than present, as she made a trip home to Poland for the Holidays and hasn't been seen (by me at least) since then. She has phoned a couple of times, so I believe that she is back in the country, but only to say that she can't come because of one drama or another. Her next ETA is Friday afternoon, so I have everything crossed because I'm slowly but surely losing the battle with dust bunnies and washing, bedlinen and clothes etc.

Daughter and Grandson are pretty settled in, and we are rubbing along nicely at the moment. There is a lot to sort out, as you can imagine, and we have been somewhat hampered by the snowy weather, as everyone has. In a way it's a blessing in disguise as schools have been closed and people haven't been able to get to work either, so this enforced containment has helped all of us to come to terms with the new state of affairs. We are investigating local schools, all of which are full, and will be
putting Grandson on a couple of waiting lists once we have looked at them. As he is only 5 and a half, I'm not terribly worried about a bit of waiting, but he is definitely missing the structure of going to school and Daughter is anxious about him missing out. It seems to me that it's probably more important to wait and for him to only have one lot of adjustment; moving schools once is bad enough. Finding somewhere to live is another priority, but it's all going to take time. There are plenty of flats for rent in Brighton and Hove, but apparently it doesn't help that she has a child (?). And our estate agents are a slimy lot on the whole. One in particular keeps phoning her and saying "Oh, of course, you've got the five-year-old." As if she might just have mislaid him since the last phone call. Bastards.

And then there's her job situation - she will have to leave and find a job closer to home, now that Brighton is home again. She is dealing with it all in a calm way, mostly, and is sure that she is on the right path. Watching her, I can only say that I'm proud of the way she is coping. And Grandson is mostly so happy to have his Mum back again that it is going to be well worth all the upheaval.

What about me? Well, see above. I haven't had much chance to do anything other than help with the re-settlement process. And I expect it will go on for a fair few months before we can say that everything is sorted. Poor Daughter has also got to go through the real separation with the (now ex) Boyfriend; sorting their stuff, packing up and moving, hiring a van, putting things in store and then moving herself and Grandson into what will hopefully be their happy new home. I'll drink to that - in fact mine's a very large one!

Belated Thanks..

2010-01-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much to Working Mum, one of my very good Blogging Friends - for a lovely award which she was kind enough to give me before Christmas, and which I have been very dilatory in both acknowledging and posting. Many apologies. I know I have been both busy and preoccupied, but that's not a good enough excuse. It is a delight to have this award, and I shall endeavour to be worthy of it. I'd better get on with posting more often for starters. Perhaps that should be my (belated) New Year's Resolution.

A Happy New Year - you can say that again..

2010-01-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

I don't really know where to start, but first of all I'd like to wish all my faithful (and oft-disappointed) followers a very Happy New Year. I would also say a very belated Merry Christmas, but it's far too late for that! I have plenty to tell you, but it's going back a bit, so I'll try and be brief...

When last I blogged, things were looking pretty bad (see above). Just after that it was Daughter's birthday (she was 28 on the 12th) and she ended up coming here to celebrate with a little Birthday tea (jelly, cake and candles, that sort of thing). Son and his Girlfriend came too, and they all went out to celebrate for the evening, with several of her old girlfriends from Cambrige days. So far so good, but the next weekend we had planned to have a heart to heart with Grandson, and to try and explain to him about his real Father. This had us all feeling nervous, mostly because we just wanted it to go as well as possible for the little chap. As you will all be aware, he had been feeling pretty insecure about "family". But in the end, it went amazingly well. He had obviously been anticipating something, and was very receptive to what his Mum and I told him. It was all clearly and honestly explained to him, in simple language, and we drew him a family tree with little illustrations to explain who was who in our family. We had some photos of when he was born, and they showed who was there at the birth: Me, Daughter, real Father and (of course) Grandson who slipped out looking decidedly blue, with the cord around his neck! Son was also there in the hospital, as was my Ex-Husband (with wife number 4), real Father's Mother and her Boyfriend (I know, I know), so it was quite a crowd in the waiting room. Anyway, the dreaded truth-telling went extremely well, and Grandson came out of it feeling fine about himself. And wanting to meet his real Father of course - more on that later!

During the next week Grandson stayed with me as he was on holiday from school and Daughter was at work - we also thought it would be good for him to feel really secure here just in case he wanted to ask any more questions about family matters. All was fine until the day before Christmas Eve when the next drama erupted. Daughter and the Boyfriend split up. (Well, I did promise to make it brief.) This was far more dramatic and emotional than I can recount here, but I'm sure you can imagine the mixed feelings. Of course it wasn't easy and Daughter was distraught, though equally sure that she had had to make that decision. She said that, having decided to be open and honest with Grandson, she had to also be honest with herself. To cut a very long story short, we all ended up here for Christmas (Daughter, Me, Grandson, Son and his Girlfriend) and a pretty emotional time was had by all. Actually it was lovely to have them here, and we were all supporting each other. We had the best time it was possible to have under the circumstances, although everyone also had colds, coughs and sneezes, but at least we weren't giving them to anyone else. And now I have Grandson and Daughter staying here until she can sort everything out: job, school, flat etc. (Of course they do say "Be careful what you wish for." :-) So far, so good, and we're just taking it one day at a time.

Oh yes, and Daughter (brave girl) did take Grandson to meet his real Father last week. I do admire her courage. In fact it went very well. And then she also took him to meet his paternal Grandmother and her parents (great Grandparents). Grandson is quite obviously both relieved and happy to know the truth, and he is also delighted to be discovering so many new family members. He still has to come to terms with the next lot of upheavals, and I really hope that we can help him through them.
Now we're just having a couple of days chilling out before the next instalment.
Happy New Year, and all that...

PS. I knew I would miss dear old Terry Wogan, but the reality is much worse than I had feared. Where, oh where, is he in my hour of need?

I mean well.. but..

2009-12-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

Oohh, I feel as if I could curl up in a corner and die. When will I realize that I really can't get so involved in my "childrens" lives. It's no good, I start out with the best of intentions, and then I get carried away. I think I really can help and try to put things right if possible, and then I find myself in the wrong again. And actually, that's spot on. Why should I think I know best in any situation? I haven't had much success with relationships after all: married twice and divorced twice, who's going to take relationship advice from me? I've just got to let them get on with their own lives and get on with mine - but that's a big part of my problem. I have always put my children, and their needs, first. I didn't see that as wrong, and in the circumstances in which I found myself, it was the safest route really. And of course it brought rewards in that we had a very close family unit, just the three of us. That's fine as far as it goes, but it's not exactly a template for a balanced family life is it? What they had was a very devoted single mother, who was immensely proud of them and supported them in everything. OK, but I worry that it has meant that they don't have a model to follow in their adult relationships. That is a debate that could go on forever of course, and I guess that many people have far worse disadvantages to overcome.

I know that we all have our crosses to bear. Mine, at the moment, is that I feel sick and unhappy because I have caused both of my children a certain degree of unhappiness, simply by thinking that I know what's best. I need to either get on with supporting them in a way that's not intrusive, or get out and get on with my own life. Or, better still, find a healthy balance between the two. My Daughter has made her own choice of partner. She is happy with this, and it's not my place to interfere. My Son has a busy life and is fiercely protective of his private life. He doesn't really need me either. It really is taking me a long old time to get used to that state of affairs. If they have problems, I always think it's my job to try and solve them. But what I may see as concern and support, they see as intereference. The fact that everything I say, do or feel is motivated by wanting the best for them, isn't good enough, in fact that's mostly the problem. "Butt out" is what I should do. It hurts, of course, but that's what I have to do. And stop being so pathetic about it.

So, enough of the soul-searching for one night. What else have I been doing? Well, I've done more gardening for my Therapist. Luckily it was a perfect day on Tuesday, and I managed four hours work - two hours digging and the rest planting bulbs. I must say that I couldn't move afterwards, and came back home to a lovely hot bath which helped to soak and soothe the aching muscles. Then yesterday I went up to London to see Rufus Wainwright at the Royal Albert Hall. First of all I caught the bus from Victoria to Peter Jones, my favourite store. It's a very Christmas heaven at the moment, with glorious decorations hanging down through the central stairwell, and strings of lights decorating the restaurant windows. There was a very elegant lady playing Christmas music on a harp, and the displays were wonderful. I spent a couple of happy hours there, choosing what I would buy for everyone, in my dreams!

Then I took another bus up to the Albert Hall, meeting one of my London BFs there. We had a quick slurp of wine and then sat down to Rufus Wainwright and family in their Christmas Concert - lovely. It was nice to see the rest of the Wainwright family (Martha Wainwright, his sister, and Kate McGarrigle, his mother) and friends, but personally I could have done with more of Rufus. He is so extraordinary and has a magical voice coupled with great talent and a wicked sense of humour. It's a fabulous combination.

Finally, thanks to my BFs best friend, I had a lift to Victoria after the concert, and so was home and tucked up in my bed by 12.30. Busy, busy, busybody, that's me!

At last..

2009-11-24T13:44:00.000-08:00

Marmalade of apples, raisins and shallots:

This says the quantities serve eight. And it goes well with pates, terrines, cold meats or cheeses.

350g Cox's apples
250g shallots, peeled and halved if large, then chopped
50g raisins
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 nutmeg, freshly ground
275ml strong dry cider (actually I used 330ml)
55ml cider vinegar
25g dark muscovado sugar
1/8 teaspoon whole cloves.

To prepare the apples, wash, core and cut into quarters (no need to peel), then slice each quarter into three (I found this varies with the size of the apples). Place them, along with all the other ingredients, into a medium saucepan, bring everything up to a gentle simmer and just leave it to cook very gently (without a lid) for 50 - 60 mins, until the liquid has reduced and the mixture looks sticky
and glossy. I then spooned the marmalade into warm jars, covered with paper circles and then with pretty mob-caps made from bits and pieces of fabric I've saved.
If you cut the fabric circles out with pinking shears, it makes a lovely crinkly edge, and you can then tie them with ribbon as a nice finishing touch. Hand-written labels add to the warm, homely feel - and the finished jars of chutney/marmalade make lovely presents.

I hope you enjoy making this - it's really easy. I've now made two batches, the second with double the quantities, and both were equally delicious. Good luck..

I'm sorry that I still haven't done the Vegetable Lasagne recipe - I'm rubbish at working out the quantities and I tend to work on instinct to get it right - I'll try and put my mind to being more precise and get it done in the next few days. Tho' actually I'm gardening for my Therapist tomorrow, in Town on Thursday for my London BF's farewell party at her house, and then driving over to Sissinghurst on Friday to stay with my Aristocratic BF for the weekend. Maybe I'll do it on Monday...

Blow, blow, thou Winter wind..

2009-11-14T02:43:00.000-08:00

Heavens, what weather! Yesterday I had arranged to drive across country to an ex-Advertising BF who lives in the middle of National Trust woodland in the middle of nowhere. It was a wild drive, with lashing rain and winds all the way, but quite an adventure really, and absolutely lovely to arrive at her gorgeous old house which looks as if it has been planted in the earth and then overgrown with old trees and wild plants. It's really magical. And then to be welcomed into the warmth of her house, which is comfortably cluttered with wonderful stuff! There are shells, books, ancient objects, fossils, rugs, throws, piles of jewelled fabrics and soft cushions, and paintings everywhere, both framed and unframed, because she is a prolific Artist (with a capital A). Her husband was also at home (he has a delightfully archaic building in the garden that he uses as an office), and he made us some fresh coffee which was just lovely. We had intended to go out and about to look at various places, but as the weather was so atrocious, we simply sat and nattered most of the day. We covered a lot of ground, metaphorically of course, and interspersed the day with refreshments and laughter. It was the best sort of day possible. Lunch was some lovely little pear and stilton tarts, loving made by my BF, with a salad and a glass of white wine. Perfect!

I had taken her a jar of my freshly made Marmalade of Apples, Raisins and Shallots - which is perfectly delicious, though I say it myself. It's intended to be eaten with either cold meats, pates or terrines, or with cheese. Yummy. I'll give you the recipe (though it's not my invention - actually it's from the Mail on-line and I came across it when looking for an article in their "You" Magazine). I have to say it was the simplest thing to make, requiring only a fair amount of chopping and a bit of simmering. I'm planning to make another batch, with double the quantities, to give to friends for Christmas. The jars do look very pretty with little mob caps made from bits and pieces of fabric which I seem to hoard and then tied with ribbon. I made some labels which I wrote in coloured pencils,and they just finish it off nicely. Hopefully, I've uploaded a photo for you to see - and of course I can't put it where I want to - it seems to be at the top of the page! Ah well, at least it's there.

This morning I was due to make and deliver a Vegetable Lasagne (another dish I'm now making for the Deli), but discovered I didn't have the dish in which to make it, so had to venture out into the wild weather to collect it. I've now made the thing, but since I started cooking the wind and rain have escalated into full-blown gale force with horizontal heavy rain hurling itself at my windows. I think I'll just take a few minutes to finish this and then hope that the gale subsides a bit. I drove along by the sea to collect the dish earlier, and the view was both amazing and awe-inspiring. The waves were being whipped up all along the beach and promenade, curling round both the piers, old and new, and looking like wild horses with foaming white manes and tails, galloping towards the shore and hurling themselves onto the shingle. Magnificent!

Perhaps I'll give you my Vegetable Lasagne recipe too, which is a combination of all the recipes I checked in my Cookery books and on-line. I added a few touches of my own, removing an aubergine here and adding a touch of Brie there. So look out for a culinary adventure in my next post - hopefully.

Remembrance.

2009-11-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

Every year I take the time to celebrate, or is it commemorate, the lives of those who died in the defence of our country and our freedom. The Lost Generation of WW1, and all those who have followed since then. Misguided as War undoubtedly is, we really cannot deny that those who have fought for us, and for King or Queen and Country, have been both heroic and tragic. The Remembrance Ceremony never fails to bring me to tears, and this year was no exception.

As it happened, I was driving up to London yesterday, to deliver Son's desk to him. This is the old oak desk which matches his chest of drawers, and lived in his bedroom in Cambridge. And since the chest of drawers has already been moved to the London flat, it seemed proper that the desk should follow - especially as it's the perfect size for his new computer. So this was why I was sitting in a traffic jam in my car with tears streaming down my face, and trying to sing "Oh God our help in Ages past". I'm relatively fine until it gets to the verse which says " Time like an ever-rolling stream bears all her Sons away" and then I dissolve. It's the simple thought of all those wonderful young men: sons, brothers, fathers, lovers, husbands, whose lives were wasted in the pursuit of power. What a terrible thing. It did make me feel very fortunate to have a Son who is (hopefully) in no danger of having to go to war!

I listened as the service continued, and was reminded of something I heard last week on Woman's Hour. Apparently, had the dead of the Wars been able to march past the Cenotaph (a rather macabre thought) it would take three and a half days! I found that dreadfully sad - how could such a waste of young life ever be justified? It was also said that Vera Brittain, famous writer of that WW1 period, who worked as a nurse in the war, didn't lift her head from her duties on Armistice Day because she had nothing to celebrate. She had lost a brother, three close friends, and her fiance in that dreadful War. And sadly her experience was pretty typical. My Grandfather also served in that War, and was very lucky to survive it. My Mother vividly remembered his homecoming in 1919, after five years away. (She was born in 1910, so would have been four when he left and nine when he came home.) They lived in Tottenham, and she recalled that the men from his regiment all came down the road together - those that had survived of course. They were all so infested with lice that they had to strip naked at the garden gates, leave all their clothes and kit to be burned and have their heads shaved to avoid contaminating their families. I imagine that the kettles boiled and the tin baths were well used that night. And my Mother remembered being given the top of his boiled egg as a treat!

Ah well, another year has slipped away, and have we learned anything about the futility of War? Of course not. Just look at Afghanistan. Last week alone more of our brave young men, and women, lost their lives. And so it goes...

The Latest Heartache...

2009-11-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, there's always something to worry about isn't there? I was doing my Grandmotherly duty last week, when Grandson was on Half Term holiday, and it was lovely to have him here, but he was very tired and kept saying that he didn't want to do anything much. (No wonder after six weeks of term and the fact that he broke his thumb only two weeks ago.) He was, unusually for him, very short-tempered about little things, and mostly I just dealt with it by giving him a cuddle or a bit of reassurance. After a few days he was feeling better, but he was obviously not feeling very secure, and talked a lot about family, which may be something they have been talking about at school. Of course that brings to the fore the fact that the Daughter's Boyfriend is not his real Father, something which I'm sure Daughter hasn't yet told him, and what with the Engagement and the planned Wedding, I began to feel that something specific was making him feel uncomfortable. As you will all know, I'm not happy with the situation - and with good reason - but I stupidly hadn't realized that Grandson might be feeling something similar.

Anyway, on Thursday we went down to the sea, him on his bike and me walking. It was a lovely day and he was mostly whizzing ahead with me bringing up the rear. When we got to the promenade he spotted a young family and stopped to watch them. There were four of them: a Dad, Mum and two small daughters, one probably older than Grandson and one a bit younger. They did look like a nice family: The Dad was helping one of the girls on her bike, and I just walked past until I realized that Grandson was still watching them. I wandered back and asked Grandson if he was OK and he said "I wish I had a family like that, Nana". Oh the heartache of that simple sentence - I couldn't believe what he had said - though it was perfectly clear. It was such a sad, and grown-up thing for a little boy of five to say. And I was so taken by surprise that I didn't ask him why or anything. I stupidly let the moment pass without trying to find out more. And I have heartily regretted it since, of course. It is, to me, the surest sign that my darling Grandson isn't feeling either happy or secure in the "family" that Daughter and the Boyfriend are trying to put together. I have felt for some time that Grandson knows instinctively that the Boyfriend isn't his Father, and I feel so bloody helpless, and so sad for him. When Daughter came to collect him on Friday after work, she just didn't want to hear anything from me. She said that she wasn't feeling very well (and she didn't look too good either),and she just wanted to get away. All I managed to say was that Grandson is not as happy or secure as she thinks he is. And hopefully she will think about that. It was very hard for me, because I knew how much he had missed her and could see how much he wanted to be with his Mum. They stayed to carve a pumpkin to take back with them for Hallowe'en and Grandson didn't want to go - he just wanted to stay here with his Mum - but she couldn't wait to get back to "Daddy". As Grandson sat in the car, he said "I love you very much Nana" and I said " I love you too my precious." Daughter said nothing and she hasn't phoned since then. It won't be easy, but I feel I really must tell her what her little boy said - it breaks my heart to know how he is feeling.

I know what you're thinking - it won't help. But, d'you know what, I don't think I have anything to lose. I feel pretty sure that I have lost my Daughter, for the time being anyway, and actually the most important person in all this is my little Grandson. She is a grown-up and can deal with her own stuff, but he needs to know the truth and he needs to have his Mother on his side. If he knows that the Boyfriend isn't his real father, he will hopefully be able to deal with his own feelings. He won't be forced into calling the Boyfriend "Daddy" and he won't feel guilty. And hopefully he will one day have that lovely family he wishes for. I'm not going to lie to him, and I'll make sure that Daughter doesn't. He's such a dear, honest and brave little boy, and he deserves the best.

Shame on us...

2009-10-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

Despite my parents' various problems, I believe I had very secure and happy childhood. I was never abused. How lucky I was. It seems that accounts of child abuse, cruelty and even murder are now commonplace, almost everyday occurences. How terrible that is, particularly for those of us who have a horror of any kind of hurt or damage being inflicted on any child. I know that when I was a child, there was a completely different view of children from that which prevails now. Childhood was not idealized as it often is today. We were disciplined, by which I mean that we had clear definitions of what we were allowed and expected to do. Perhaps some of my contemporaries were physically abused in the course of that discipline, but I was not aware of that. Mostly, we accepted that we had to do what our parents expected of us. We probably didn't like it much, but that was life. And I'm pretty sure that that was one of the reasons why so many of us married young - to get away from our parents and their way of life. If this seems a very matter-of-fact description, it probably is. And I'm not saying that our lives were either better or worse. They were simply different. I only know that when I came to have my own children, and when I had the sole responsibility of bringing them up, I was a more compassionate and loving parent than my own had been. As many of my contemporaries did, I felt that showing my love for my children was more important than disciplining them - I didn't mind admitting that I was wrong either (and I often was). Don't get me wrong, I did have reasonable expectations of my children, and they knew where their boundaries lay, but I also wanted them to be happy and to know that they were loved. I'm sure that this belief brings its own complications - it's unrealistic to expect happiness to be a constant in our lives. And if we had no sadness, arguably we couldn't appreciate happiness when it came along. But how, when, where did it become so threaded through our society that little children should come into this world so unloved and uncared for that they are almost routinely abused and cruelly treated? How is it that our society actually tolerates this? I have seen, as most of us probably have, children being abused, shouted at and and hit in the street. And I have sometimes spoken out, and sometimes not. Why are we, as a society, afraid of these bullies. I wish I had the answer - and I wish that our society had the courage and the strength to actually do something about these abuses and frightful crimes. So our Social Workers are now overloading the system with cases of child abuse and neglect (in the wake of the fallout after the case of poor little Baby Peter) - because they are afraid that they will be seen to be inefficient. They might even lose their jobs! But how do the children feel? How do those poor little neglected scraps of humanity feel when they see yet another Social Worker walking away from them and leaving them in the "care" of brutal, ignorant and abusive adults? I don't have the answers, but I do have many questions. How many bruises to you have to see on a child before you realize that that child is being cruelly treated? How many reports of crying and screaming can you ignore? How many times do you send an injured mother and her children back to live with a violent and abusive partner? I often wonder how we continue to live in a society that allows these, and many, many more crimes against humanity. Heads down, we scurry on about our business, living our own lives, seeing only what is closest to us. Of course we can look after our own dear children, to the very best of our abilities. We can hold them close to our hearts and make the best possible future for them. And perhaps, in the end, that is the most we can do. I'm not religious, but I surely know that any person who abuses or hurts a child and ruins a young life is going to Hell for it. And for that reason alone, I hope there is a particularly nasty Hell reserved just for them.

Never mind, things could be worse.

2009-10-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

For some reason I'm feeling nostalgic this evening. I've had a mixed couple of weeks, with worries about both Son and Daughter, and I've been looking back "in my mind's eye" to the days when, whatever was wrong, we would sort it out and settle down for a cosy evening cuddled up on the sofa at home. Ah, those were the days...

What's been happening? Well, Daughter seems to be continuing on her path towards a Wedding, if not a marriage. It seems to me that "Planning a Wedding" is about the day, the dress and the party, while a marriage is about a future life together. I'm far from convinced that the future even comes into it for her - I think it's all about the fantasy and fluff of getting married. Anyway, there has also been a new addition to their household - a very large dragon or something similar. I walked, all unsuspecting, into their sitting room, to be confronted by a huge black cabinet with a glass front, inside which was a large gecko, I screamed and jumped backwards. Its tank hissed. It has light, heat and water, and what look like live crickets, obviously as food for the monster. I beat a hasty retreat to collect Grandson from school and refused to go back in again. I told Daughter that I thought she had completely lost it, and she told me that I was being negative. I guess it's the ultimate chav accessory. It goes perfectly with the boyfriend's dreadful chav haircuts, the non-stop video gaming and the obssession with his car. Perhaps this sounds amusing, but when I think that this is the "Daddy" influence on my Grandson, along with his unswerving avoidance of anything remotely intellectual, it makes me feel both angry and helpless. Just for a change...

Son, on the other hand, has a lovely girlfriend who is both intelligent and sensitive. They have been getting on very well and she has been staying with him for a while since she had problems with her boss and her last flat. This seemed to be working out well until hiccoughs appeared in the shape of Son's flatmate (they bought the flat together), who objected to her continuing presence. Poor old Son, just as he had settled into a home for the first time (not a rental) and was feeling secure, along comes trouble. I can't imagine how the Girlfriend managed to upset the flatmate, since she has clearly improved the place and has also made Son pretty happy. Apparently though, he had become used to having the place to himself (not that that was part of the deal). He is also an avid computer "gamer", so I suppose that having a happy young couple coming home in the evenings pissed him off. Well I can tell you, his response has also pissed me off. Not to mention Son, who has found another flat for the Girlfriend and is seriously contemplating moving out himself. Now does that sound fair to you?

So, you can see why I'm feeling nostalgic. Give me the good old days when I could put on a plaster, or kiss it better, or just send the troublemaker home after tea....

Oh, and another thing that's really upset me is the news that the lovely Terry Wogan is deserting me. I don't quite know what to do about this - he has been my support and stay for more than 30 years. Of course he is now 71, and is probably fed up with getting up at some ungodly hour in the mornings. I do understand, but I just don't know what I'm going to do.
And if the BBC seriously thinks I'm going to listen to that w***** Chris Evans instead, they've made a big mistake. Oh what the hell, just call me Grumpy.

Anyone for Summer Pudding?

2009-10-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting here eating some of my Summer Pudding, well actually my Grandma's recipe Summer Pudding, and it occurred to me that you might like to try it.
Actually, it seems a funny old time to be making this, as it's well and truly Autumn now, but here goes - I made this one because the berries were all on special offer in Tesco!

You'll need one medium-sized pudding bowl (the old-fashioned china kind), a loaf of stale white bread (this is more tricky than you think, as no-one sells day-old bread any more), a punnet each of redcurrants, blackcurrants and raspberries, roughly 2 ounces of caster sugar (I use vanilla sugar, which is simply caster sugar into which I put a vanilla pod so that it absorbs the flavour.) Plus a little water in which to barely cook the fruit. And, of course, cream to serve.

First cut the crusts off the bread and cut out the slices to make a lining for your pudding basin. This is great fun - children love helping because it's like doing a jigsaw puzzle. You can even use a mixture of white and brown bread if you like, which gives a rather nice patchwork effect. And stale bread really is best because it soaks up the fruit juices so beautifully. Then string the currants, wash all the fruit and put it altogether with the sugar and a little water into a saucepan. Warm the fruit, rather than acually cooking it, so that the juices run. You don't want the fruit to be overcooked and mushy. Leave it to cool a little, and then spoon the fruit mixture into your lined basin, nearly to the top. Cut out a bread lid for your pudding and spoon some juice over it. If you have any juice left over, save it for serving later. Now you need to find a saucer or small plate which will just fit into the top of your basin. Put some heavy weights onto this, so that the bread is pushed down firmly, and then put your pudding in the 'fridge for at least 12 hours. (I always leave mine for at least a day, and my Grandma used to put hers on a marble slab in the larder for 24 hours.) When you come to turn it out, the pudding should have a lovely purply marbled effect on the outside and a sweet/sharp mix of fruit on the inside. And you can now pour on your reserved juice if there are any stubborn white patches. If you have done it right, you can cut this gorgeous pudding into firm slices, but even if it's not perfect, it is without doubt the best pudding I have ever tasted. Served with Jersey cream or clotted cream it's just divine. And it looks very pretty on a white plate too.

Champagne Days.

2009-09-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

The trouble with this laptop is that I find myself doing even less Blogging because I can sit here watching a film and time just flies. To get back to the old news, I had not one but two Students because a last-minute French girl turned up rather unexpectedly. She joined my Spanish student, and they were both very nice - though the French girl spoke almost no English. It didn't seem to matter because they got on famously and went out most evenings after supper for a friendly drink.

On the Wednesday I left them to their own devices because I went up to London to meet Son for his Birthday. He was 30 on 16th, hard to believe really. Anyway, I had spent several days putting together an album of photos, one for each year of his life. It was hard to choose which to include - but it was rather good in the end. I also gave him Squirrel's gold watch; a lovely old Garrard Fob Watch with a gold chain, which I'd had serviced and repaired. (It was given to dear old Squirrel in 1963, as a reward for 25 years service at Vauxhall Motors.) One of my Brighton BF's gave me a card and a chocolate cake to take for him too , so he was rather spoiled.

When I arrived in Town, I hopped on the bus and started off taking a look at the Trafalgar Square plinth, which seemed to me to be nothing much. There was a bloke up there throwing down sugar lollies and party blowers - and writing strange stuff on a pad, which he then screwed up and threw down into the crowd. Odd and rather pointless. After that I cruised round the National Portrait Gallery, looking at their latest exhibitions, and took some tea in their little cafe.
Son phoned while I was there and invited me to join all the jolly office people as they were having champagne in Soho. Hard to resist! It was so lovely to see him, and he did look wonderful. We drank a toast to him, or several, and then he and I went back to his flat to meet up with his Girlfriend. More champagne and he opened all his presents, which he really loved. And then I took them out for dinner at a Tapas Restaurant not far from where he lives in Vauxhall. It was the most delightful evening, and I ended up sleeping on their sofa because I just couldn't bear the thought of running to catch a train at that time of night. It was such fun. I finally got back to Brighton on Thursday afternoon, having had a lovely time. Son was also having a drinks party for all his friends on the Friday (which was his Girlfriend's Birthday too!), but I didn't plan to go to that. Daughter did go, and I think they all had a great time. It was a wonderful and very special occasion.

Since then, time has flown again. My Spanish student went back to Madrid last Saturday, and we have had some amazingly hot weather; I've been on the beach and swimming in the sea nearly every day. I'm off to London again tomorrow, to stay with a London BF for a couple of days, and will probably see Son for lunch on Thursday. Hopefully. Back on Friday, by which time it will be October. Autumn already.

What's Up Doc?

2009-09-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

How time flies when you're having fun! And what a week it has been. I'm sitting here now at my laptop (get me!) in the sitting room, semi-watching a movie, but basically using my wireless connection. It's blooming great to have said goodbye to all those wires.

Going back to where I left you, I have to say that nothing went quite as planned! The piano delivery was delayed because they were minus one van, so it finally arrived on Wednesday last week. I had been expecting it on either Monday or Tuesday, so there was a lot of hanging around, but never mind. The Piano People, when they did appear, were just wonderful, and made light work of getting the piano out of their van and up two flights of stairs. They soon had the old girl standing on her ornate mahogany legs, and looking very comfortable. Apparently the piano is strung like a harpsichord and so needs special treatment. Luckily the guys knew some names of people who can do this, so hopefully we will soon have the piano sounding reasonable. Then all I have to do is learn to play it again. Don't hold your breath!

I had been planning to go and spend a couple of days (Wednesday and Thursday) with one of my London BFs, but the great Laptop initiation was also delayed because the lovely Dan (and his equally lovely partner, James) couldn't get here until Friday morning and I just knew that rushing back and forth to London wasn't going to work. Especially since I had finally managed to get a Dentist appointment on Friday afternoon. So, as luck would have it, I was here, sitting on the loo on Thursday evening, when I looked down and saw water. Everywhere. I quickly opened the water meter door to discover that there was a fine mist spraying out from one of my pipes. Panic. I phoned the Water Board and then my lovely downstairs neighbour. Roz arrived first (of course) and gamely sat with her finger over the leak (just like the little Dutch Boy) until the water man arrived. Surprisingly, the leak turned out to be my responsibility and all he could do was turn the water off. Great. No water except what was leaking from the pipe. And did I forget to mention that Daughter was staying because she was going to a wedding the next day (not hers, I hasten to add). I sat up until the water stopped dripping (1.30 am) and fervently thanked Divine Providence that I hadn't gone to London, only to return to a flooded house.

I really am very lucky though, because the lovely Roz phoned her friend, and he came and fixed my leaking pipe the next day. What's more, the dear man refused to take any money, so I am in his debt and will have to think of something nice for him. And I had Dan and James setting up my Laptop and transferring all my backed-up stuff at the same time, which was tricky because I couldn't really concentrate on them, and I felt pretty bad about that. Next was the dentist, which wasn't good news - I need maybe an extraction, definitely a crown for a broken tooth and also a new filling, plus a "deep clean" which sounds painful to me.

After all that, I had to get ready for the Wedding Reception, to which I had been invited so that I could bring Grandson home after a couple of hours, leaving Daughter and the Boyfriend to dance the night away. We came home in a taxi at 10pm, and were both tucked up in my bed and fast asleep five minutes later. I was just exhausted, and so was Grandson, who had been dancing on on his own on the stage for a couple of hours, apparently. What Larks!

Oops, is that the time, and my battery is about to run out. I'll have to finish for now and re-charge. More later, bringing you up to date with all the latest news, including the rest of the weekend, new Student(s) and Son's 30th Birthday. Night, night. Sleep tight.

Bye for now..

2009-09-06T08:05:00.001-07:00

Not that I'm in a panic or anything, but today is the day when I switch off this dear old computer and pass it on to KT and Hon.G, with the fervent hope that it will give them a couple of years service. This means that I have to lose contact for a couple of days (no great loss, I hear you say!) while I get to grips with my new laptop. (I haven't even dared to open the box yet, but that's another story.) I'm also expecting delivery (on Tuesday) of the piano which belonged to my Grandmother. It's a beautiful old Broadwood grand piano which has a smaller than average keyboard, and is actually rectangular; basically a polished mahogany box on very ornate legs. I used to play it as a girl, when Sister and I were on holidays with Nana, so it will bring a lot of memories with it. I'm planning that it will sit where my computer desk now sits. I have checked and double-checked the measurements, and it should all fall into place, but the upheaval it has caused has been major. I didn't realise how much stuff I had been hoarding in my "Study", my desk and my filing boxes, and so I have spent the last few days clearing it all out and moving everything around. I do hope it works.

Added to that, it is Son's 30th Birthday in ten days (on 16th), and I have been trying to find photographs that summarize his 30 years of life so far. More boxes (under beds and in top cupboards) stuffed with so many photos I simply didn't remember. Am I alone in keeping all these memories? I have found Son's first photo (the scan of him at 16 weeks), plus lovely school ones of him with gaps in his teeth, and cards which date back to when both my children were at Primary School, and of course there are drawings they did then, poems they wrote. It's probably something I had to do anyway, but it certainly has brought the memories flooding back.

Well, I must get on. Switch-off time approaches, and I'm feeling nervous. Dan, my lovely computer man, has backed up all my files, and I've changed my "package" so that I get a much better deal (from the same people). It will give me up to 7mg Broadband, a wireless router, landline rental and all my calls, and will cost me £10 less per month. (Not bad when you consider that I have been paying over the odds for a good couple of years!) And I don't have to change my email address, which is a blessing when you're as technologically incompetent as I am.
So, happy Sunday to you all, and I fervently hope to be back with you in a few days (or at least by the end of the week). "Wish me luck as you wave me Goodbye.."

Life's Rich Pattern...

2009-08-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

Never has a truer word been spoke (sic), as my dear old Mother used to say. I am well and truly "in the wrong" now, as never before. I have been absent, as you may know, for nearly a month, and that is because things have taken a nasty turn in our family affairs since I last blogged. Three weeks ago I was totally blasted by a phone call from Daughter, who was on holiday in Greece, to say that the Boyfriend had proposed, and that she had accepted! This, as you may gather, was a total shock, given the upheaval three months ago when it looked as if her return from Dorking was imminent. At that time, they had had the mother and father of all upsets, and she couldn't wait to move back to Brighton. There were several reasons: they had been having "violent" rows, they didn't speak to each other at all, the previous year had been "terrible", she wished she had never left Brighton and couldn't wait to get back, her intellectual stimulus came from work, not from the Boyfriend, she wasn't sure if she could or should "settle for" what they had, she was going to be looking for someone else, and she didn't want to meet anyone who already had a child (as the Boyfriend has). Add to this the state she was in, and the fact that she said to me (however uncharacteristically) "Mum, you were right. You're always right." As I think I said at the time, this did not bode well!

OK, so now it's a complete "volte face", and they are engaged. She has the "gorgeous" diamond ring, to go with the two Chloe handbags, the Dior and Armani sunglasses, and the free Greek Island Holiday (just the two of them of course, Nanny Daisy and I were looking after Grandson). At the time of the upset, the Boyfriend had said that he would not apply any pressure if she would just give him another chance, a chance to change. And then he got his cheque book out. Forgive me if this sounds cynical, but I know that my lovely Daughter can be swayed by pretty things. He has been, very cleverly, playing the Daddy to her Daughter. The Daddy she didn't have to spoil her and tell her how lovely and special she is. However much I tried, I couldn't be that Daddy. And now I'm completely and utterly in the wrong because I can't smile and say, "How wonderful". Actually, I feel sick a lot of the time. And I'm not alone. The friends I have spoken to have voiced varied opinions, mostly in the region of "She could do so much better." Which is all very well, but it's not what she thinks now, three months later. I guess she was afraid to take that step, to be on her own again (not for long, I believe, with her looks, intellect and personality), to be moving back - though she would have had tons of support from family and friends - and despite all her qualities, she doesn't have a great deal of self esteem. And I'm sure that she was afraid of the effect it might have on Grandson - although we all reassured her at the time that children are very resilient and brave - which is another problem because sooner or later he will have to learn that the Boyfriend isn't his Father anyway. Oh God, life's a Bitch for sure. I'm in the wrong, and in the Dog House (arguably that's where I belong) and I don't know what to do next. Help!!

My Macaroni Cheese Recipe.. at last!

2009-07-29T06:54:00.000-07:00

Here at last is my recipe for Macaroni Cheese - and I hope you'll forgive the mixture of measures. Somehow I can't seem to get them constant - I'm useless with metric, but as things like packs of macaroni come in kilos these days, I don't have a lot of choice. If you can't make sense of this, just ask me to clarify it and I'll do my best. Here goes:
This makes four really good-sized portions
Ingredients: 1 third of a pack of macaroni (approx 333gms)
100gms good strong Cheddar cheese (use more if you like it really strong)
Approx: 1 pint liquid (I use half full-cream milk, and half vegetable stock because
I think it gives a better flavour)
1 oz. or 1 old-fashioned heaped tablespoon of flour
1 good oz. of hard butter (no substitutes)
1 good pinch Colman's Mustard powder
Fresh ground black pepper and sea salt to taste.
Approx. 1 oz grated Parmesan cheese for topping (again use more if you wish).
Method: First I put a large, buttered, dish into a warm oven (approx 150) to warm (I use old butter papers to give the dish a non-stick finish). Then I start by cooking the macaroni in a large saucepan covered with plenty of boiling, salted water. It takes about 10 - 13 minutes to cook it thoroughly, and as the macaroni swells you may need to add more water. (Tip: add boiling water so that the cooking time isn't slowed down and stir the macaroni fairly frequently to stop it sticking together). While the macaroni is cooking, make the Roux: put the butter into a smaller saucepan on a low heat to melt. Do not burn the butter - if you do you will have to start again. When the butter is melted, take the pan off the heat and stir in the flour and the pinch of mustard powder, stirring all the time with a wooden spoon. It will get thick very quickly. Put the pan back on a low heat and gradually add the milk and vegetable stock a little at a time, stirring all the time with your wooden spoon to avoid lumps. This is labour intensive I know, but the object is to achieve a smooth creamy sauce which is approximately the thickness of pouring cream. If the sauce gets lumpy take it off the heat and whisk with a small whisk until it is smooth before continuing. If your macaroni is cooked before the sauce is finished, simply take the sauce off the heat and put it to one side while you drain the macaroni. I have found that cooked macaroni is very lively indeed! It seems to leap about when you least want it to, so be careful as you drain it into a large colander, otherwise it will all jump out into the sink! When you have drained it, run the cold tap through the colander to wash all the excess starch out of the macaroni. This is very important, because it takes away the "clagginess" of most cooked pasta. (In fact I do this with all my pasta.) Next, put the cooked macaroni (carefully) back into the saucepan and add a drizzle of good olive oil which you mix into the pasta with a wooden spoon. This stops it sticking together. Next continue with the sauce (back on a low heat) by stirring in the grated Cheddar cheese until it is all smoothly combined. At this point I also add salt and pepper to taste. You will find that the sauce thickens as you stir in the cheese, and it should be both creamy and delicious. Now remove your warmed dish from the oven (carefully), pour in the cooked macaroni and add the cheese sauce, slowly, stirring it in well. Then sprinkle the grated Parmesan over the top and return the dish to the oven, turning up the grill to brown the top. This only takes a couple of minutes. The result should be (I hope) a deliciously creamy Macaroni Cheese. This whole process takes me about 30 minutes and makes enough to feed four really greedy people.

Now if I were anything like as clever as my good friend Donna , I would have a mouth-watering photo to show you at this point, but as I'm not, you will just have to imagine it. Despite this, I hope you will try it and enjoy it! Happy cooking..

Swine 'Flu, My Family and other animals..

2009-07-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Oh Bugger, Grandson has Swine'Flu - it struck him yesterday evening, and Daughter phoned me to say he had a high temperature and was feeling pretty awful. It was the last day of his first year at School yesterday, and of course she now wishes she hadn't sent him back this week after last week's scare - me too! Ah well, we just have to deal with it now. His temperature went up and down last night, and then was decidedly up at 39-point-something this morning. He was also sick, and said he had a sore throat, and Daughter said his glands were obviously swollen and he couldn't swallow. She now has some Tamiflu for him, which she got from her GP, and of course Grandson can't really go anywhere for five days - so neither can she! They were due to come here today for a couple of days holiday, and then go on to a wedding at the weekend - one of her oldest School friends is getting married on Saturday. This is really sad, because her friend has been planning her wedding for two years, and is devastated that one of her oldest friends can't be there. So of course they can't come here either until next week (Daughter said they have to stay away from both children and old people.."And I'm afraid 'old people' means you Mum" - thanks a bunch). Thankfully, my darling Grandson seems to be feeling better this evening, and has gone to bed quite cheerfully. He has had his second dose of Tamiflu and some Calpol to help keep his temperature down - plus he has a fan in his room to keep him cool.

Today's bad news rather overshadowed Daughter's really Good News, which is that her latest Cervical Smear test result came back Negative.. Three Cheers. She opened the letter this morning, in the middle of all the panic about Grandson, and was pretty tearful with relief. Me too. It's her first normal Smear result in two years, and though she will have to have another test in six months, it really is something to celebrate. However, as they're all confined to the house, going out wasn't on the cards. Instead, Daughter went to get a take-away curry and a bottle of wine while the Boyfriend read Grandson a bedtime story. Small pleasures maybe, but it's pretty important to celebrate the good news.

Today is also my 2nd Blogging Anniversary - a small event that's been completely overshadowed by all the Big Stuff above - but that's just how it should be, I think. After all, a Blog is quite simply an on-line Diary; a way of sharing our day to day lives, thoughts, dramas and delights, with our on-line friends. I'm pleased to be still Blogging - even if I'm not writing this Diary as often as I did at the start. I really love all my Blogging Buddies, and I love sharing all your lives and thoughts too. Long may we Blog - and here's to many more anniversaries.

PS. I have promised to put my Macaroni Cheese recipe on my Blog, and will do so soon - I just have to work out the exact proportions etc. Back soon...

A Week in the Life of...

2009-07-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the end of another week during which I've prepared a splendid Sunday Lunch, made and delivered two Macaroni cheeses, spent another day gardening, looked after Grandson for a couple of days, enjoyed a visit from a LondonBF and another dinner at L'Eglise, washed and ironed all the bedlinen and changed all the beds, painted a chest of drawers for the Student's room (and carried it from the car and up three flights of stairs) and also had a little panic about Swine 'Flu. I'm beginning to sound a bit like Superwoman aren't I - except for the last item of course.

To begin with last weekend, I was so looking forward to seeing Son and his Girlfriend and I had planned a super lunch for Sunday. I decided to pinch some of Jamie Oliver's ideas, and bought a gorgeous selection of cold meats (from M & S actually) plus an assortment of tasty foccacias, two cheeses, some olives and a dish of organic beetroot. I prepared it all a la Jamie, laying out the cold meats on a large wooden board. I warmed the breads and whisked up a large bowl of potato salad made with potatoes from ABF's garden, organic mayo and a bunch of lovely chives, fresh from Roz's garden. I also washed and dressed some of her fabulous homegrown rocket which has a really mustardy flavour. Oh, and I boiled some organic "Happy Eggs" to go with it. Altogether the lunch was almost totally organic - which is great because Son's Girlfriend is very keen on most things Organic, with a capital "O". And for dessert I made a Summer Pudding, from my Grandmother's recipe, using redcurrants, blackcurrants and raspberries from the Farm, and organic white sliced bread (I didn't know you could get organic white bread, especially not sliced!). I had also bought some single Jersey Cream and some Organic double cream to go with it, so we were amazingly well provisioned. To go with all that yummy food we had a jug of Pimm's, which I asked Son to make - and I must say that the whole thing was a great success. We all ate so much that we couldn't manage the pudding straight away, so we went for a blue and windy walk down by the sea to refresh our appetites. Daughter, Grandson and the Boyfriend turned up at teatime, so we all enjoyed Summer Pudding and cream, plus a lovely family time, before they all had to go. Son and his Girlfriend also went off bearing the old oak chest of drawers from the small bedroom. This was always in Son's bedroom in Cambridge, and as he needed something to tidy up the stuff in his flat, it was the obvious solution.

So, on Monday (after delivering my Macaroni Cheese to the Deli), I whizzed off to collect Grandson from School - only to be on the receiving end of an official School Newsletter telling everyone that there had been a case of Swine 'Flu in the School. This did scare me, I must admit, especially since there was no way of knowing who actually had the virus, how old they were, which class they were in, and how bad a case it was. Nevertheless, we had our picnic tea and our game of football and frisbee on the field, as usual, and I had to wait to tell Daughter until she arrived home from work. We both felt worried, but somehow couldn't decide on the best course of action. The letter advised parents not to keep their children away from school, but what would you do? Most people are saying that most of the cases are mild - but the exception seems to be in younger children, between the ages of 5 and 12, who haven't had the chance to build up any immunity to 'flu viruses. Anyway, I left Daughter to wrestle with that tricky decision, and brought back the small chest of drawers which she has been storing, unused, in the garage. At first I felt rather feeble about carrying it out of the car and into my house, but then I decided that all I needed was a bit of creative thinking. I carried all the drawers out separately, and managed to manoeuvre the carcass by turning it over and over (rather like a square cartwheel) and even got it up the stairs that way. Result!

On Tuesday, which was 14th July, I was expecting one of my London BFs as we had planned to go the the special dinner at L'Eglise, for Bastille Day. She arrived with wine, and I also made a jug of Pimm's (it seemed a shame not to finish the bottle), so we were very jolly company by the time we met her friends in the Restaurant at 7.30. We had a typically delicious meal, laughed a lot, and staggered home rather late. Next day she left after breakfast, and I spent the rest of the day painting the chest of drawers in readiness for my next Student, who arrives on Sunday. Then Daughter phoned to say that she would like to bring Grandson to me for a couple of days - no real surprise there - so they turned up at supper time, and I had the unexpected pleasure of cuddling up to Grandson, who is, of course, in the best of health!

I had a day of gardening planned for Thursday, so I magicked up a picnic for Grandson and me, threw it all in the car, and off we tootled to East Grinstead for the day. Luckily it was a perfect and sunny day, and Grandson had a great time playing with C's children and helping me in the garden. I worked like fury and managed to get quite a lot done. All the planting I had done over the previous two weeks is looking lovely. We've had quite a bit of rain, so everything is growing well. Grandson and I had our picnic sitting on a rug in the garden, and I worked until I could hardly move. By 5 o'clock I was just about done - and completely done in. Actually, we were both really tired; Grandson hadn't stopped running about and I had weeded, watered and planted until every muscle in my body was aching. We laughed about that all the the way home in the car and just about collapsed when we got indoors (though Grandson managed to eat sausages, waffles and peas, followed by ice cream and a big glass of milk). I sat down after getting him into bed and was so tired I just crept up to bed at 9.30!

Today I could move without pain - it's obviously good for my muscles to get so much exercise.
Grey, wet and windy weather meant that Grandson and I were pretty much confined to the house - except that when the sun came out briefly this afternoon we went to the park for a bit of fresh air! And what happened? Grandson insisted on going into the paddling pool with all his clothes on, and tripped over, falling flat on his face. Oh Joy - he was soaked to the skin and then it started raining again. By the time I had stripped off his wet clothes and put his coat on (luckily it covered his willy, but not his bum) it was chucking it down, and I was soaked to the skin. My second shower of the day. We ran back to the car - what a sight we must have been - and arrived home just before Daughter, who was coming to take Grandson back for the weekend. Now all I have to do is make another Macaroni Cheese to deliver tomorrow morning - and as I'm also looking after Hon. Grandaughter tomorrow, I can pick her up when I deliver the dish to KT at the Deli. That's Saturday, and then the new Student arrives on Sunday...

Promises, promises..

2009-07-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

I know, as I was reminded by the lovely Lulu at Family Affairs, I'm hopeless at getting back to you all on time. It's an Aquarian characteristic, you know, to be always running late, so I have some sort of excuse, if only a pathetic astrological one!

Anyway, here I am to explain what else has been happening to delay my Blogging. Actually, I seem to be turning into a sort of One-Woman Cottage Industry - a couple of weeks ago I haplessly volunteered to make a Macaroni Cheese for KT at the Delicatessen where she works in Hove. I was in there one day when they were complaining about the quality, or lack of it, in the macaroni cheese they were currently selling. "I can do that." I piped up, and was promptly asked to prove it! So I did, and I have been making them ever since. I'm even up on the board as "Margot's Macaroni Cheese - New Recipe", which pleases me terrifically. I started making one a week, and now it's two, as it seems to be pretty popular. What Larks!

A couple of weeks ago I also volunteered myself to garden for my lovely Therapist, as she has such a busy life and just can't do the garden as well as manage three children, a busy husband and her therapy career. We were walking round her garden, after my last session, and she was telling me what she would like to do, but couldn't get around to. So, as you do, I found myself saying "Would you like me to do some gardening for you?" The answer was yes, so I've been planning, designing, buying plants and gardening at her house since then. Last week I tackled the Courtyard Garden, which was a mess, and transformed it with a gorgeous planting scheme of white, silver, blue, purple and lavender. I used trailing lobelias in blue and white, some tall lavenders with silvery leaves set around with white stones, and osteospermums (white with purple eyes) plus more white and blue lobelia and the odd bit of ivy, all in lovely old grey stone planters. I had this all planned and the plants bought and ready, when the news came that poor C. (my Therapist) had fallen and broken her shoulder at the airport on her way home from holiday. Thinking that it would cheer her up, I carried on regardless, with the help of her children who cleaned pots, washed the terrace very enthusiastically, and generally enjoyed themselves learning about gardening. It was a boiling hot day (last Thursday) and I worked from 10.30am to 4.30pm, but by golly it was worth it. I could hardly move afterwards, but the courtyard looked just lovely when we had finished, and I was delighted that C. now has somewhere pretty and restful to sit on warm days - she certainly won't be able to do anything more physical for a couple of months! And the gardening continues; today I have been out choosing and buying more plants for the rest of the garden (we have to do it in stages, because they have 5 acres!), and tomorrow I'm off to implement the design and do the planting - it's such a delight seeing the schemes come to life. I was just sitting down to do a plan for the next border, when I had to break off and make an extra Macaroni Cheese this evening, because they phoned to say they had run out at the Deli and needed one for tomorrow!

Oh, and yesterday I took Hon Grandaughter to visit Aristocratic BF who had her two grandaughters staying. We were hoping to swim at a neighbour's pool, but sadly the weather didn't like that plan. We ate lunch in a thunderstorm (indoors, luckily) and then took the neighbour's dog for a very wet and drippy walk by the lake at Sissinghurst Castle. It continued to pour, on and off, so the girls played indoors (very happily) and ABF and I sat and nattered over a cup of tea. When we drove back, after supper, it was torrential rain, so much so that even double wipers couldn't cope with it, and we had to sit and wait for a let-up so that Hon. G. could get out of the car. Oh, the joys of an English Summer.

This evening I had intended to do my nails (what nails?), and a bit of long-0verdue shredding of old paperwork. Instead, I've been sitting here chatting away with you for the last hour. And now there's a film I want to watch, Sunday's Times to read (is it really Wednesday already?), and stuff to get ready for tomorrow. That border design will have to wait, and I'll drop off the Macaroni Cheese on my way out in the morning, after I've loaded all the plants and tools into the car. Busy, busy...

Lazy Bones, lyin' in the Sun.

2009-07-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

That's me, under the parasol, on the beach, not taking my Blogging responsibilities seriously at all. Trouble is, in this country we just don't get enough sunshine to ignore it when it comes along. My Aristocratic BF had invited herself for a long weekend last week (a "Friday to Monday" as it's called, or in this case a "Saturday to Tuesday") because the weather was so wonderful, and she wanted to get on the beach. This suited me perfectly too, so I happily agreed and cleaned the house from top to bottom on Friday in preparation for her arrival. (Somehow I can't help doing this - any visit is the motivation for me to Spring-Clean.) Afterwards, it feels so good - I always look around, admire the spotlessness and shining surfaces, and think "Great, no more cleaning for a week or two." My reward for all this activity was going to see Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames " 50 Years of Fame", at The Dome in Brighton on Friday night. By complete coincidence, as it turned out, it was Georgie Fame's Birthday - his 66th, believe it or not. We all had a wonderful evening, and so did he! He still sounds the same, and he has his two sons, Tristan (how can Georgie Fame have a son called Tristan?) and James in his band. Tristan plays the guitar and James is the drummer, and they were both very good indeed, having obviously inherited the family talent. Georgie sang and played all the old favourites, and some very good new music too. He still wears the white suit, and talked to the audience as if he had known them for years (well, I suppose he has, actually). He made us laugh when he told us that he had been offered a State Pension of £82 a week last year - obviously on his 65th Birthday - and he thought "Well, if that's all there is, I might as well go on playing for a bit while I can." And he certainly can. He had a surprise guest in the form of Zoot Money (My God, we said, is he still alive?), and even allowed him to play his famous Hammond Organ. The House was delighted, and roared its applause. And there was another guest, whom I didn't know, Ian Shaw, who is also a hugely talented and witty pianist and singer. It was a great evening, and ended with us all singing Happy Birthday to Georgie as his grandchildren came onstage bearing a Birthday cake with candles. Lovely. It felt like a family occasion. And then Georgie, Zoot and Ian Shaw all hopped gleefully offstage, like a little group of garden gnomes, arms around each other and obviously as happy as could be. It was just about the perfect evening.

Next day ABF arrived, bearing half her garden in the form of fresh produce, plus some gorgeous cherries and strawberries and a marvellous bunch of roses and sweet peas. I had already stocked up with Pimm's, so after a stroll by the sea, we settled down to watch a bit of the tennis at Wimbledon while sipping Pimm's. My Student was in London with friends, so I didn't have to feed him, and we enjoyed organic salmon with ABF's new potatoes and some lovely fresh veg. Next day we shopped at Primark and the Pound Shop (well ABF did) and then turned up at Jamie Oliver's new restaurant in The Lanes, hoping for some lunch. Luckily it wasn't too crowded and we sat up on the Roof Terrace and had some of his "pukka" Italian food; we ate homemade breads - a great selection - dipped in olive oil, and then a board of continental meats with olives and chillies, and a salad. Everything tasted divine, and then we shared an ice-cream dessert: hazelnut and vanilla ice-cream, with smashed honeycomb and chocolate sauce on top. Yum. On Monday it was just glorious again, so we decamped to the beach, with swimsuits, towels and my parasol, plus a picnic and plenty of sun cream and water. It was very warm indeed, and I swam in the sea a couple of times - absolutely necessary for cooling down. We had ice-creams from Marocco's, and then came back for a simple supper, the Tennis highlights, and bed! What an idle life. And did I give a thought to my faithfull Blogging friends - well, er, not really. And though I've caught up a bit, I still haven't told you everything that's been happening in my busy life (needless to say, I haven't done the photos either). I'll have to come back tomorrow (I promise) for the next instalment...

Oh Come, all ye Faithful.

2009-06-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

Now where was I? Ah yes, about to follow instructions from the lovely Donna on how to put a slide show on my Blog. Huh. That was nearly two weeks ago. I just turned on my computer, and it just turned itself off! So I have been absent again, and it took a while to get back on-line. My lovely Computer Man, Dan, came and shook his head, examined the patient, and took the bloody thing away. However, it wasn't terminal :-) (thankfully, because I haven't got everything backed up - of course); he managed to replace the power unit (?), and he also stopped the groaning it used to do whenever I turned my computer on! What a little genius he is. So here I am with a practically silent computer that is working again - and I now have to get my head around doing those pictures again. That's next, after I have caught up a bit. And we have to back everything up now too. Dan and I have promised to do that sometime soon - let's hope my dear old computer doesn't decide to die on me between now and then.

Son has been both helpful and thoughtful. He thinks my old computer is a "piece of sh**e" but nevertheless he put a message out on Facebook, asking if anyone has a PC they don't want. He admitted it was "for me mam", and said he didn't want any Mac questions from his mates, because we have had that conversation already. All his friends (and probably most of mine too) have now got Macs rather than PCs, and I don't know why I'm still resisting it really. It's just that I'm used to my PC and not sure I want to learn a whole new set of computer "rules". Anyway, we'll see what turns up. I'm pretty sure I'll have to replace this one soon, whatever..

Grandson has been having a jolly time, and has been making us all laugh, as usual. His teacher told Daughter about his latest joke last week, at her Parents' Evening: apparently they were doing a little exercise in class about shortening names, and she asked the children if anyone could think of how their name might be shortened. Grandson's hand shot up, so she said "OK William (that's his name!) how do you think we could shorten your name?" His immediate response was "Mario" - which made her laugh so much she was practically crying. Of course, he loves Super Mario on his DS game, so that was probably where it came from. Priceless! So from now on, he'll probably be Mario for short! His lovely teacher is leaving the school at the end of this term to be a head teacher at another Primary School. She will be sorely missed, and she said that she will miss William because he makes her laugh every day! What a wonderful gift that is.

I have been up to London this week, to the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy, which was great. I hadn't been for a couple of years, and I only did it this year because I wanted to go and see Son, and he couldn't make a space in his busy day until later in the afternoon. It was a blessing in disguise, because I had a lovely lunch in the Royal Academy restaurant, and then had a couple of hours walking round the Exhibition. I particularly love the smaller pictures - these are often quite inexpensive (though not as cheap as they used to be - I can remember when you could buy a small print for £10 or £20), and so feel very accessible. They are hung in the Large Weston Room and the Small Weston Room and are mostly small pictures and prints, some of them available in quite large print runs. Though the minimum price is now around £100. I guess that's still not bad for a piece of original art, and it is wonderful to see how many people of all ages, from students to grandparents, come to look at the pictures and sculptures on display. I particularly loved some large collages which were to my mind the most original works in the whole exhibition; there were four examples of these enormous postcard collages by an artist called David Mach R.A. At £25,000 each, they're also among the more expensive items on show. But they are truly wonderful - if you have a chance, do go and see them, and if you're too far away try looking on the Royal Academy website www.royalacademy.org.uk

That's about it for now - thanks to all you Bloggers who have remained faithful and kept on wondering where I was - lost in computer never-land, that's what. I'll be back tomorrow and have another go at those blooming photos - not that I want to tempt providence...

Picture Perfect? Huh..

2009-06-06T12:06:00.001-07:00

You know what, I give up. I've been trying to load pictures, but stopped when it became apparent how long it would take! Then I had a genius thought - why not put on a slideshow of my pictures. How? Please can someone help me - technodummy that I am, all Blogger would give me was a slideshow of someone else's photos. All I can say is, Oh Blogger!!

Good Times..

2009-06-05T13:26:00.001-07:00

What a humbling experience it is to sign in to create a new post. As I typed in my details, the names of updated Blogs were flashing up one after the other in very quick succession - and in many languages. It's a huge community we belong to, and I really love it.

As I write this I'm listening to the new Fleet Foxes album - which I have borrowed from my lovely downstairs neighbour. Son was here last weekend, with his girlfriend, and he noticed it among my cd's. "Did you buy this?" he asked "'Cos if you did, I'm impressed." That's so funny, because I wouldn't have known about them unless I'd heard the music at Roz's barbeque. I did love it, but that's not really the same as knowing who they are. I don't know much about new music, but I do know what I like when I hear it! Anyway, I've added it to my iTunes, so I can play it whenever I want. And I must remember to return it.

This week has been fairly quiet and peaceful after a lot of partying. I did my collecting Grandson duty on Monday, and as it was a lovely day, I took a picnic which we had on the field near his school. This was infinitely preferable to going back to Daughter's house, which is still stuffed with kittens. We played with the Frisbee and ate sausages, sausage rolls, Dalek cake (left over from his Birthday Tea), and cakes brought back from my ABF's Birthday Party. It's been all Birthdays lately, with ABF's Tea Party on Sunday being an absolute winner. We all dressed up in 1930s clothes (all the ladies wore hats, and some of them even wore gloves), and drank tea, ate tiny sandwiches and also tiny cakes which were perched on pretty cake stands. Instead of a Birthday cake, she had two Chocolate Fountains, one milk and one dark chocolate, into which we dipped strawberries, marshmallows and tiny ring doughnuts. Yummy. There was a four piece band playing on the terrace, and the garden looked perfect. The weather was perfect too. And then 12 of us stayed for supper which we ate by candlelight in the marquee. Lovely. I left at about 9.30 and arrived home at 11-ish. Tired but happy.

I'm planning to add some photos to show you, from Grandson's Birthday etc. I'm not going to start now, though, because I know how long it takes me to do it. I'll come back tomorrow. Promise...

Them and Us...

2009-05-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

I haven't commented on the MPs' expenses scandal so far, but I must say that hearing the other day that the poor things are feeling awful, that there's a terrible atmosphere in the House of Commons and some of them are depressed made me want to throw up. What are they thinking? Had they never been found out, they would have been merrily carrying on with their hands in the till, making idiots of us all. Oh dear! As so many people have commented, if any of us (the common people) been discovered doing the same thing, we would have been hauled up in front of a judge and (rightly) convicted of Fraud. I've heard all the arguments about them not being paid enough to make ends meet - well how would they like to live on what most of us have to live on? (And pay our taxes, pay our own heating bills, buy our own train tickets - not First Class because that would be a joke - pay for all our own house repairs and buy our own food.)
Yes, they've been elected to represent us, but that really doesn't give them a licence to cheat us.
It saddens me to think that Politics seems to corrupt just about everyone. Where are the people with integrity who actually care about what happens to our society?

The Swiss Parents have come and gone, and were truly a delight to have in my house. They came bearing yet more Swiss chocolate, which went down very well, and were most appreciative of everything. They were here for three nights, and went up to London on one of their days. They didn't speak any English really, except the odd word, so I had to reluctantly reveal the fact that I spoke French. It was worth it though for the look on my Student's face when she heard me chatting away to her Mum and Dad!

Grandson has been here since Tuesday, as it's his Half Term. So I've been having lots of hugs and kisses. His latest fun thing is to launch himself at me and hang on tight while he kisses me very hard. It's so funny, we both end up on the floor with the giggles. Today we re-potted his sunflower seedlings on the balcony, and then we went down to the Paddling Pool for the first time this year. True to form, he raced around in his swimming trunks for about four hours. I don't know where he gets the energy from (unless it's the four helpings of spaghetti bolognese he ate). It's nearly as strenuous following him around, but there's no alternative - the place is packed and it would be so easy to lose track of him! Anyway, we survived, and he is having a pre-Birthday treat tomorrow. I'm taking him to the Sea-Life Centre and then on the Pier for a bit of fun. After that, we're coming back here for a Birthday tea, with sausage rolls, jelly and a chocolate Dalek cake (chosen by him). A few of my friends will be coming too, and his Mum will turn up after work. He is going to be five on Saturday, and is having his proper Birthday Party at home then, with lots of his little friends from school. I can't believe how fast those five years have gone. So much has happened, and all our lives have changed hugely during that time. What a good thing it is that we can't see into the future...

In the midst of Life....

2009-05-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well, so mucho for good intentions, I've been even worse at Blogging since I came home. To be fair, it has been a frantic ten days, but I must stop making excuses and just get on with it!

The first 10 days with my new Student have been fine. She is a nice little 22 year old Swiss girl whose native language is French. She had a bit of trouble settling in when she discovered that I didn't have Wi-Fi and so she couldn't connect to her beloved lap-top, and her beloved friends, 24 hours a day. The beautiful bottom lip trembled, and a crystal tear appeared in the corner of her eye. But I was implacable - not to say tough. I tried to explain that it wasn't a case of money - I just don't know my neighbours well enough to knock on their doors and ask if we can used their Wi-Fi connection - and anyway, I'm not sure how that would work. It was fine once she went into School, and they sorted her out I guess, because I didn't hear another word about it! Apart from that, we are getting along famously, and her parents are coming to stay this weekend. It will be interesting, as they apparently don't speak a word of English. It may turn into a French Farce, and if it does, I'll share the fun with you.

The very sad news came when I telephoned my lovely Solicitor, ironically as it turned out, to ask him to bring my Will up to date. When he answered the phone he sounded very down, so I asked him what was wrong - only to hear that his lovely wife had died, in April, of breast cancer, or rather the results of a late diagnosis of breast cancer, and the ensuing operations, chemotherapy and finally inoperable brain tumours. I was devastated and terribly sad for him. She was only 42, and has left three children (11, 16 and 17) and a sad and lonely husband. He was obviously trying to be brave, but I'm afraid I cried, and so did he in the end. Words are totally inadequate when something like this happens - and it is so terribly unfair that someone so young should be wrenched away from her family and a full and happy life. I knew that she had been ill, and had had to have reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy, but I had assumed (and hoped) that she would survive. Oh Bugger.

My 8th Therapy session last Friday was a tough one, which brought up some deeply buried family stuff. It took me completely by surprise because I just didn't see it coming, and I ended up feeling rather threatened. I came home exhausted and slept again, and then spent the night in a state of anxiety. I can't really explain it, because it's rather close to home, but my protective instincts were aroused not only for my two grown-up children, but also for my Therapist who is taking this stuff on. Having re-read this, I can see that it isn't making any sense at all. Sorry...

Grandson was here again, last weekend, and we were hoping to go to the Jill Windmill on Sunday to see her working. Actually we did go, but the weather closed down on us and we sat in the car for nearly an hour, waiting for the storm to abate slightly. We tried to get out once, but were beaten back by the howling wind and rain, so in the end we retreated and came home. Daughter came to pick him up on Monday afternoon (he had an extra day with me), and rushed in with her mobile glued to her ear - looking gorgeous - and hurrying Grandson along because she was going out to dinner. Again. There's obviously something going on because she never has a moment to stop and talk, and poor Grandson is rushed from pillar to post to fit in with her social arrangements. Add to that the fact that she has bought a bright red convertible car (I know, don't ask!), and is planning a holiday without Grandson (guess who gets to look after him) but with the Boyfriend, because he is paying!!! She is avoiding all conversations about the future in any real sense, and acting as if nothing has happened. Not only that, but when I went to their house last week, I was confronted with the most disgustingly dirty tip, five kittens and their mum, and a fridge you wouldn't want to touch if you valued your health. After half an hour I couldn't breathe (allergic asthma) and when she came home I left saying that I wasn't going back at least while the kittens are there. It's all rather a worry. But of course I can't say anything without being in the wrong again.

On a happier note, I had a lovely visit from my London BF, whom I met on Skyros in 2001, and who came to stay on Monday. She arrived just in time to say a cheery hello to Grandson, and then we had a wonderful time catching up. She had brought real Madeira cake, from Madeira, and some potent Madeira Wine. We ate, drank and talked non-stop until we could talk no more, and then we resumed next morning over breakfast before going for a walk along by the sea. She had tickets for a BAFTA special event at the Brighton Dome yesterday evening, to see David Attenborough talking about his life. There was a Champagne Reception first, with very good champagne and tasty canapes, so we felt very spoilt. And the on-stage Interview, with Melvin Bragg doing the interviewing, was so good we both felt it could have gone on much longer. David Attenborough really is a Great British Institution. Afterwards she had to whizz off to her Mum's as they were going to the Chelsea Flower Show today, but it was a fabulous visit.

Now I'm off to bed - feeling very lucky to be alive and kicking...

So nice to come Home to..

2009-05-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back and shivering with the cold after spending a week in Tenerife, lying in the sun. "Poor you!" I hear you say, or perhaps I don't. Never mind, but 27 degrees was pretty hot, and I actually have a bikini suntan for the first time in years. I just thought "Sod it", and believe me there were lots of women exposing lots more flesh than me by the pool. For example, there were the "two fat ladies" (or 88 in Bingo parlance, I'm sure you get the picture). These two were quite young English women who were absolutely enormous - with powerful shoulders and rolls of fat, all of which quickly tanned to a rich reddy-brown. They had also decided to go topless, and this was quite scary. Somehow, their breasts (pardon me) didn't look like breasts, but like another set of extra large bulges, of which they seemed rather proud. I didn't know quite how to respond to this display, and luckily ABF and I were draped over our loungers on the far side of the pool, away from them, so we were able to modestly avert our eyes most of the time. Anyway, after the first day I had on what looked like a white bikini, while the rest of me was bright pink. Not a pretty sight. But it did improve slightly, and now I have a great tan to start the Summer with. If it ever arrives, that is.

We enjoyed ourselves enormously, eating, drinking and doing nothing, and I managed to read two and a half books. The first was "One Fifth Avenue", by Candace Bushnell of "Sex and the City" fame. It was absolutely wonderful - the perfect holiday read. Being transported to the high life in New York was the best holiday escapism, and I do so admire her ability to make her characters come alive. Somehow, she also makes you feel just what she wants you to feel about these people. You love them or you hate them, but you really believe in them too. I was absolutely there. I didn't want the book to end, so I tried to slow down a bit, but in the end I had to finish it. And now I intend to read it again! The second book was a really elegant little novel by Fay Weldon, called "She may not Leave" - quite a different kettle of fish, and beautifully written too. It has moments when you shiver with dread, in fact it arouses a huge range of emotions. Any woman who has ever struggled with children, child-care, family relationships, sex, work, etc etc, will identify with this. It's wonderful in an odd, quirky way - and it made me reflect on how all our lives are similar, even when our experiences are different. I think Fay Weldon writes brilliantly about women and their lives (as she did in "The Life and Loves of a She-Devil"), and the fact that she wrote that immortal line "Go to work on an egg" when she was a Copywriter, makes her all the more human somehow! The third book is "An Equal Music" by Vikram Seth, which I'm finding it harder to get into. I have a battered paperback copy, which Son sent me, and he said that he couldn't put it down once he started it. So far, it hasn't had that effect on me, but I'll keep on trying.

Home thoughts from abroad.. I didn't miss anyone much, except Grandson of course, but I was so pleased to get home and see that I hadn't missed the wonderful Oriental Poppies in my garden - they are just out now. They look like giant orange papery-silk fake flowers, with dark, black centres, and the bees can't get enough of them. I also came back in time to catch the double white lilac " Madame Lemoine", which I missed last year too, when I was on my fateful trip to France. All I can say is, I'm so pleased that I didn't decide to leave these shores permanently. We may be going through pretty dire financial times, but that's just when we need our family and friends around us, isn't it?

Rights and Wrongs..

2009-04-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

I really must pull my socks up, mostly metaphorically of course. This month I have been even worse at writing my Blog, and catching up with Blogging Friends. It's been a busy and somewhat tricky month, but I ought to be confiding in my Dear Diary instead of keeping it all under wraps!

I did manage to put on a picture of the kittens (see above right), which is now somewhat out of date. They have their eyes open and can almost walk now - and Tinkerbell is an exemplary mother. She tidies them all up, licks them into shape and then lies down to feed them, with a blissful expression on her little face. They all have homes to go to when they are ready, and one of the little darlings is going to KT and Hon Grandaughter, who are moving out on Friday, after nearly three months here with me. I must say that it has been lovely to have them (KT and HG I mean, not the kittens), not a chore at all, and I will really miss them. Friday is, coincidentally, the day I go on holiday for a week, so everything has turned out pretty well, timing-wise. I'm off to Tenerife with my Aristocratic BF. She has a Timeshare which offers the occasional bargain, so we are going to have a very cheap and cheerful week away. I'm looking forward to just lying in the sun, with book and cocktail close at hand, and the occasional dip in the pool will be the icing on the cake. When I get back I have a new Student coming to stay, so hopefully there will be more interesting news. And I promise to be a better correspondent and a more regular visitor to all my Blogging Friends.

There has been a bit of an upset regarding Daughter and The Boyfriend. I had Grandson for a week of his Easter Holiday, and it was then - when there were no children or other distractions - that they discovered that their relationship wasn't going so well. We had a pretty frantic weekend, (a week ago) when it seemed that everything was falling apart, and Daughter was ready to move back here with Grandson on the spot. However, it now seems to have calmed down. I don't pretend to know what the outcome will be, but Daughter and The Boyfriend have talked things through and she has asked for some time to think, so we are all waiting to see what will happen. Of course I immediately thought "what a good thing they didn't buy that house!" There's always a reason for these things. Apparently Daughter has been aware for some time that things weren't right. (And I must say that having the worry and stress of the Pre-Cancerous cells and the Colposcopies can't have helped.) But they had just fallen into a routine of not talking to each other, until the absence of Grandson meant that they had no choice but to communicate. It hasn't helped that Daughter said to me " Mum, you were right - you're always right." Hah! Somehow, I know that means I'm in the wrong again...

Simply the Best.

2009-04-14T13:47:00.000-07:00

D'you know, it was simply the best Easter. I had two days of complete peace and quiet on Friday and Saturday, and then Sunday and Monday turned out to be frantically social and busy. On Sunday morning Gay Friend and I went to the "last ever" Car Boot Sale at Brighton Station. They have been threatening this for ages, but Sunday was finally the day. It was a bright morning, and we wandered around buying lovely bits and pieces before sitting down for a bacon sarnie and a cup of tea. Most of the stall holders we talked to are planning to transfer to the new site, which is at Brighton Marina. This is not a terribly popular move, because those of us who have lived here for a while don't particularly like the Marina. It has one saving grace, which is free parking, but otherwise it is not a favourite place to visit. It has none of the magical glamour of other Marinas I have seen on the Continent. In France or Portugal, for example, they are gorgeous places where one can sit ouside a cafe or bar and sip coffee or a cocktail while watching fabulous yachts bobbing at anchor, and the equally fabulous owners bobbing around in their designer clothes. At Brighton Marina one is always dodging the rain or sheltering from the prevailing winds. It's not a pretty place, being constructed mostly of grey concrete, and though the little boats are nice enough, there's nothing glamorous about it. It's more like a bus station than a Marina somehow. A watery Bus Station. Anyway, if we want to buy and sell our hoarded rubbish in future, it will have to be at the Marina, not the Railway Station. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Then I got a phone call from Son to say that he was on his way down! Surprise, surprise. And he was driving down with his girlfriend. I had already planned to go out for a Pub Quiz that evening, and had been invited for dinner beforehand by one of the Spritzer Sisters. Son seemed happy to consider joining in the Pub Quiz, and being an honorary Spritzer Sister for the evening, though he didn't fancy coming to dinner before. In the end, he and Emma drifted off into town to look around and eat fish and chips, and we arranged to meet in the pub later. It was great fun, though the Pub Quiz was late starting because a crowd of 40 or so pub-crawlers made so much noise we couldn't hear a thing. In the end we came second in the main quiz, and we won the music and picture round section (with the help of a bit of cheating I'm sorry to say). We won two bottles of wine, one white, one red, and I didn't get home until 1a.m! Son and his girlfriend carried on the evening at a drum and bass event, staying out all night I think, and came back to sleep in the single bed. Great fun. And the next morning Daughter and Grandson turned up ready for Easter activities. So I hid some chocolate eggs in the garden and then cooked industrial quantities of eggs and bacon for everyone's breakfasts. What larks!

In the afternoon we all landed on the lovely Roz, downstairs, for her Barbeque. It was a stunning day, and Son did help Roz to put the barbeque together - it was one of those tricky kit things from Tesco - and then we all sat and drank cocktails and ate barbequed chicken, burgers, sausages and vegetable kebabs, all with wonderful side salads and various goodies. It was a real feast, and since there were five of us there: Son and his Girlfriend, Daughter, Grandson, and me, she really was feeding the five thousand (my family are all good eaters!). And that's without counting her other guests. The lovely thing about Roz is that she adores having a houseful of people, particularly children, and so of course people love coming to her parties.We did have a terrific time sitting in the sun, and only left when Son decided it was time to drive back, ditto Daughter, leaving me with Grandson. And of course KT and Hon Grandaughter arrived back home just as soon as everyone else left! It really was a fun-filled weekend, and I had a gorgeous exotic Easter plant from Daughter and a fabulous photographic print from Son, brought back from Argentina. Altogether it was a great holiday, and lovely to see all my nearest and dearest.

A Happy Easter..

2009-04-10T05:58:00.001-07:00

Daughter phoned me early yesterday to say that she had been for her 8.30am appointment with the Doctor to discuss the position with her pre-cancerous cells and the Colposcopies. Luckily she got a young-ish woman doctor who was most sensitive to her concerns, and also knew quite a lot about the subject. (Apparently she had done her "gynie" training with the Specialist who had seen and examined Daughter last time.) This Doctor was able to reassure Daughter that CIN1 and 2 are not something to particularly worry about, CIN3 is the worst, and even that is still pre-cancerous. She explained that if these earlier warnings are ignored, then perhaps 10 years down the line, they could become cancerous. However, she did take some swabs, because Daughter told her about the excessive bleeding she has been experiencing, and the Doc. did some other tests, plus an internal examination. Daughter is going back to see her when all the results are in, and they will decide on a course of action then. Daughter was immensely relieved, and so was I of course. It was a very good start to the day.

Next, they went off to London to meet up with Son and have some lunch. They went to Son's office first, so that everyone there could meet Grandson, and it was a great success. Apparently Grandson went into the Studio and was (sort of) playing the keyboards and generally entertaining everyone. He had a grand time, and Son had bought him a Spurs shirt as a present. It may be a bit big now, but he'll be proudly wearing it soon, I bet. T-Shirts were rather the theme of the day, as I had sent Son a rather gorgeous Pink Floyd one which arrived while he was in Argentina. Sadly it was too big - so Daughter had to snaffle it from the office so that I can return it and get a replacement. Actually, the company in question DJTees , was so wonderful when I telephoned them, that they are sending a replacement before I even return the wrong one! How amazing is that in this day and age? They are trusting me. I wish them a very happy and profitable future - they deserve it.

I'm having a quiet Easter, which suits me fine. It's cold and rainy today, so I'm going to hunker down with some wholemeal Hot Cross Buns and some little chocolate Easter Eggs for company. Hon. Grandaughter is staying with her Dad this week, and KT is out until later, so a cosy film sounds just right. I hope the weather picks up a bit though, because I want to get out into my garden and finish clearing out the plants which died this year. I've lost all the South African daisies, not surprisingly, and will need to replace quite a few things. I also need to cut the grass and hide a couple of dozen chocolate eggs. Daughter, Grandson and the Boyfriend will be here on Monday for the Easter Egg Hunt, and so will Hon. Grandaughter and KT. My lovely neighbour, Roz, is planning a Barbeque for Monday too, so if we are going to enjoy all those delights, we need a bit of sunshine and warmth. Let's hope it does cheer up a bit.

A Happy Easter to all my lovely Blogging Friends and their families.. I hope you all enjoy your eggs (chocolate or otherwise), your buns, and your precious days together.

Spring is sprung, the grass is riz..

2009-04-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's definitely Spring here, sunny and cold, we're awash with daffodils and the pond is full of tiny tadpoles again. Daughter and Grandson were here for the day today as they are both on holiday this week, so we went for a stroll in the sun to browse the shops in George Street. It was so lovely that we were tempted to sit outside and have some lunch in one of the cafes.. brrr... Fine at the start, but by the time we had our food delivered to our table (wrong order twice!) we were all shivering, Grandson had retreated to his buggy and Daughter had given him her scarf and denim jacket to keep him warm. Typical Spring weather. We beat a hasty retreat , and sat at home with a cup of tea instead. Even on the balcony it was a touch too breezy.

I'm putting on a photo, hopefully, as Daughter was here to show me the error of my ways this afternoon. Here she is, looking incredibly beautiful I think - not that I can take any credit for that - she is just beautiful!

Grandson had his first sleepover with a friend last night. He went to stay with Thomas, his partner in crime at school, and apparently they stayed awake talking until Thomas's Mum, Wendy, finally put a stop to it at 11.15pm! No wonder then that he was tired and wanted to sit in his buggy today. Daughter said that when he came home this morning he looked somehow older - more mature probably! It's a big step, staying away from home, without family, for the first time. When I asked him about it, he just shrugged it off - and when his Mum asked him what they were talking about all night he said - guess what - NOTHING :-)

Having Kittens... Literally...

2009-03-31T12:24:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of March, to state the obvious, and I can hardly believe the way the year is cantering on already. And it's lighter because of Summer Time - but still blooming freezing here.
What news from Hove? Well Daughter has finally reached her Weightwatchers Goal Weight - an amazing 10st. 12lbs, which is a huge achievement for her, since her decidedly porky days when she had Grandson as a wee baby and was dumped by the bastard bloke. It has taken her this four and a half years to fully regain her self-esteem and her previous gorgeousness - and I really will try and put on a photo of her as she is now, just to show you how wonderful she looks. Next news, hot off the press, is that their "kitten" Tinkerbell has just had five kittens - the naughty baggage was obviously out having sex at a very early age, and is now suffering the dreaded consequences. Daughter wanted to have her spayed, but the Boyfriend didn't - he thought she should at least have the chance to have kittens before she was "done". So he is in charge of looking after and finding homes for the little newcomers. He says he doesn't think they need looking after, but I guess he'll find out..

Son is back from Argentina, and phoned to have a chat on Sunday evening. He obviously had a really wonderful trip, and was exhausted when he got back. I am hoping for a few of his photos too, so that you can see some of what he got up to. He has also been asked to be Best Man for his old mate Ed, who now lives in Australia. Ed and his intended are getting married in Thailand in January, so that will be another great trip for Son. And he is hoping to celebrate his 30th somewhere in Africa with a crowd of friends - apparently there is a Music Festival there in October. There is also talk of New York some time next year. And I expect he will be off to the film Festival in Cannes again this year! Oh what a great life.

I've been pretty quiet about myself lately because of the continuing Therapy which I'm having every other week. It has been very interesting and sometimes very painful and traumatic (both physically and emotionally). I've been through what I can only describe as "re-birthing", I've re-lived the time around the Brain Tumour (see my previous posts) and the births of both my children. Plus the inevitable emotions around relationships with parents and partners. And I have come to realize that I have buried a lot of rubbish in the past, just so that I could cope with life generally on a day-to-day basis. I'm sure that this isn't unusual. Many of my friends have been through piles of shite in their lives, and so have many of my Blogging Friends, I know.
And Blogging is pretty good therapy in its own right, I think. I've been keeping this diary on and off for nearly two years now, and I know that it has been therapeutic for me. It has certainly been wonderful to have the comments and support of all you Bloggers out there. Without it, I don't think I would be putting myself through this latest emotional struggle. It's strange how a bunch of complete strangers can turn into real friends who bring a smile to my face every day, without exception. Thank you again. I really appreciate it.

By the way.. anyone want a kitten?

The Early Bird

2009-03-25T01:56:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly for me, I'm up and busily catching worms this morning. My London BF Sue came down yesterday for a belated Birthday treat (for me) and we went out to the gorgeous L'Eglise restaurant which just happens to be a short stagger across the road. There we met up with two more friends of hers, who live in Hassocks, and had superb food (as always), good wine and lots of good conversation. Somehow being late to bed nearly always means I'm awake early, hence the worm-catching.

As I sat with Heinrich chatting over breakfast (well, not exactly chatting, but you know what I mean) I looked out of the window and saw a tiny silver aeroplane winging its way, high in the blue sky, towards the airport, and wondered if it might be Son on his way home. Maybe, maybe not, but it was a nice thought. He is due home this morning from Argentina, so it could have been I guess. I had a lovely message from him, via one of his friends, late on Sunday evening. Apparently he had been trying to call me for Mother's day and hadn't been able to get through. He was sitting beside the pool in a hotel in Iguazu on the border between Brazil and Argentina, where he had gone to see the waterfalls. Sounds just wonderful doesn't it?

My Aristocratic BF is planning a special Garden Party for her 70th Birthday on 31st May, and I have been volunteered to design and print the party Invitation. She has the most lovely garden, near Sissinghurst in Kent, so it will be perfect if we get the weather. Anyway, I sat down at my easel today and painted a gorgeous garden party hat with flowers and ribbons, in soft, smudgy pink and green watercolours. Somehow, it just came out right, so I'm not going to fiddle with it and spoil it. My next challenge is to paint some little cupcakes to decorate the other corner of the invitation, and then I can hotfoot it up to David, Son's lovely friend, who can put it all on computer for me, and then print it. Otherwise I'd have to get out my old John Bull Printing Outfit and do it myself - perhaps not :-)

Mothering Sunday.

2009-03-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

Oh well, I just haven't been able to keep up my diary lately, no excuses really. Yesterday was such a lovely day though, and it occurred to me that I'm letting all these days go by without marking them in any way. That's how life just slips by, I guess. I don't mean to sound at all melancholy, but what with poor Natasha Richardson's tragic accident last week, and then Jade Goody's well-publicized early departure, it just makes me more conscious of my mortality. And wasn't it terribly poignant that Jade Goody should die in the early hours of Mother's Day? Poor little thing, she was only 27, and hadn't had much of a start in life. She was a character, and didn't give a fig for the rest of the world. I cringed every time I heard her talking, but she did her best with the gifts she had been given. Personally, I can't bear the thought of her boys, and Natasha Richardson's boys, growing up without their Mothers. It brought back my own experience with awful clarity. When my brain tumour was diagnosed, I was sent home to make a will and make arrangements for the care of my two children because no-one could guarantee that I would survive the operation. And even if I did, they were pretty sure that I would be disabled in some way. It was quite clear that my ex-husband didn't expect me to survive either (and was rather hoping that I wouldn't). He clearly expected to take over both my house and the children, though he did make the mistake of telling me that his wife-to-be probably wouldn't want the children, and that therefore they would be sent away to school. (Bear in mind that they were then eighteen months and three and three quarters!) It was a tough week, not least because I was feeling pretty ill by then, but I did make a will, and made sure that he wouldn't get his hands on either the children or the house. Luckily my Sister and some of my good friends were prepared to make sure of that. Not only that, but I was determined to survive because I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing my children grow up. Even now, when they are 27 and 29, remembering it just tears me apart.

Anyway, survive I did, against all the odds, and I vividly remember waking up after the operation and realizing that I was actually alive. I was on a trolley in Intensive Care, and though I couldn't move an inch, I felt such a surge of joy that I could have jumped off that trolley and run around the room. I was so lucky. Poor Jade wasn't - and I do hope her little boys will be loved and cared for as she would have wished. Poor Natasha wasn't either, and didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to her children. My heart goes out to them, and to her grieving family. How lucky we are, those of us who have survived what life throws at us. And how wonderful life is. Isn't it? I surely am one lucky Mother.

Creepy Crawlies..

2009-03-09T05:15:00.000-07:00

Watching TV on Saturday night, with KT and Hon. Grandaughter, we were squealing and screaming at a programme about poisonous creepy crawlies like caterpillars, scorpions and spiders. It was a truly scary programme, and I must remember to tell Son to shake out his shoes every morning before putting them on, while he is in South America. I did know that the smallest scorpions are the most dangerous, but I didn't know about those spiny caterpillars whose venom can kill, just like that, or those gila monsters whose bite can also be very nasty - especially if they think your hand is dinner and hang on to you for fifteen minutes! Apparently all these little buggers like to travel, and can hitch a ride in or on almost anything - a bunch of flowers or a bowl of fruit, for example. "Don't touch anything!" is what I'll be telling him, and don't go barefoot, and look where you're treading. Honestly, exotic foreign travel is not all it's cracked up to be. Son will probably laugh it off, but I don't care as long as he just remembers..

It's a glorious day here today, and I walked by the sea this morning, watching two-metre waves crashing onto the shingle. There were lots of us exercise freaks out today, walking, jogging, running or just walking their dogs. It was the perfect day for it. Sadly though, KT and Hon G. are not feeling too good today, with swollen glands, runny noses etc. I do hope I didn't give it to them last week. Anyway they are tucked up in bed with a dvd, and I'm off to collect Grandson from School. It probably sounds terminally boring to you - but I really like this family life. I'll be back later to cook up a storm for supper, and I mustn't forget to phone Son and warn him about the creepy crawlies.. he's off tomorrow to B.A.

In Bed with Alan Bennett..

2009-03-05T03:47:00.000-08:00

Well, lucky me, I've just got the teensiest bit of a cold (probably from Grandson who had a runny nose on Monday) and I've decided to spend the day in bed, just cosying up to Alan Bennett. One of my BFs, who lives in the Forest of Dean, gave me a little book of his for my Birthday, and I have just got around to reading it. It's a slim volume, called "The Uncommon Reader", and Dear Reader, if you haven't read it, I do recommend it. I started it the night before last, at bedtime, and I have a job to put it down to go to sleep. It's witty, funny, so absolutely believable, despite its unbelievable scenario, and a joy to snuggle up with. I'm nearing the end now, sad to say, and am trying to delay finishing it.

Funnily enough, I was talking to the said BF on the phone, and she had been to London last week to stay with another friend and combine some sightseeing with the theatre. They saw an Alan Bennett play, "Enjoy", which is currently enjoying a good run. Apparently it was put on back in the Eighties, and didn't last long, my BF thinks because it was before its time. It concerns the life of a family whose son is homosexual, and whose daughter is a prostitute, the funny part being that the parents have no idea of their childrens' inclinations, and are living what they think is a normal family life! That is the very briefest of summaries, but it does sound both fascinating and funny, in a contemporary sort of way. I do remember that I saw Bennett's "The Lady in the Van" some years ago in London, and thought it was one of the best plays I'd ever seen. The man is a wit for our time, that's for sure, and a lovely writer.

Son has been rather quiet of late, and I'm missing talking to him. He's always busy, and his social life just beggars belief. Last Sunday we did have a very brief conversation when he was with friends in a pub watching Spurs play Man U (and losing at the penalties stage, to our disgust), and was then going on to an event at which he was DJing. This was an all-nighter scheduled to finish at 4am on Monday, and he was then going on to work! It makes me feel tired just thinking about it. He is also flying off to Buenos Aires next week (on the 10th), for a wedding, a concert and some work-related music stuff. He is going with friends, and they are renting an apartment for their stay. It sounds a wonderful trip. Exhausting, but wonderful. I think I'll go back to bed..

Hello Heinrich. Wilkommen Aus England.

2009-03-02T12:59:00.001-08:00

Say hello to Heinrich, my latest student, who is from Kiel in Germany. He smiles a lot, has very little English and eats everything - except milk, butter, cheese or yogurt - so no dairy then. It's very easy at breakfast, because he just takes a dry weetabix and puts marmalade on it. He likes orange juice and the fresh coffee I make, so no worries there. This evening I cooked a very colourful chicken and vegetable stir-fry with noodles, which he gobbled up in record time. He is here for four weeks to improve his business English (he is a telecommunications engineer) in preparation for a new project he is starting in the Summer. So, despite his limited grasp of the language, I have managed to learn quite a lot already. Izzy had eaten earlier as she comes in from school at 6.15, absolutely starving, and KT opted out of the communal supper this evening, taking hers on a tray into the Sitting Room. I can't say I blame her, because yesterday evening was painful. Trying to prise words from this nervous man (in his fifties and never been to England before) was like trying to get blood out of the proverbial stone. I wasn't much looking forward to this evening either, especially since I had rushed back from Dorking after an afternoon with Grandson, but in fact Heinrich was obviously feeling a bit more relaxed tonight and though the conversation didn't exactly flow, it was a mite easier. I said last night that it is going to be a very long four weeks, but let's hope the thaw continues.

Grandson and I had a lovely walk after school today, in the sun. He spotted a little girl (well, little to me) and said "That's my new girlfriend, Trititty." (?) So we parked the car and followed Trititty who was walking home across the field with her Mum. When we caught up with them, William was delighted and started prancing around with glee. The Mum introduced herself as Andrea and her daughter as Trinity! The riddle solved, though Grandson continued to call her Trititty. They had a new baby boy, whom Andrea was carrying in a papoose on her front, (I didn't catch it, but it was another unusual name) and we learned that there was another little girl at home. Grandson's girlfriend is an older woman - she's in Class 1 and he is in Reception, but she didn't seem to object to his advances. We walked to their house, where they have the builders in, and the children bounced up and down on springy planks and balanced on new brick footings. I didn't envy Andrea her building work, but she seems very upbeat and was coping very well with three children under six, a full set of builders including Portaloo, and a husband who was installing an en-suite shower upstairs. I'm sure it will be perfect when it's finished, but rather her than me.

On my walk with Grandson we saw a very cute house for sale, which looked rather like a gingerbread house, just along the road from Andrea and family. I told Daughter about it, but when she looked it up on the Internet, it was unbelievably expensive - well out of their price range - because of being in a very desirable area close to the Tennis Club which Daughter actually belongs to. Never mind, though I reckon it's worth making a cheeky offer for something you really like. With things as they are, you just never know...

February Fotos..

2009-02-28T14:23:00.001-08:00

Before we finally say goodbye to frozen February, I'm going to try and put on some photos which have defined the last month for me. Here goes: above is a reminder of that delightful and "unexpected" day of snow we had. It's the view from my Sitting Room window down into my garden, with the cherry tree looking especially magical and the road looking unusually empty.

Ah well, half an hour later and my computer just won't let me load the other photos I wanted to put on. Never mind. I had a lovely one of Son and Grandson on my Birthday, and a gorgeous photo of Daughter, which is on her Facebook. I'm sure it's my fault, because I'm a complete techno-dummy (as some of you will recall). Daughter is coming to collect Grandson tomorrow morning, so if she has the time, I'll get her to try. Now, though, I have to get myself to bed, because Grandson is sure to wake early. See you in March!

What goes around, comes around..

2009-02-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

There's so much going on here that I don't really know where to start. First of all I should tell you that we have had Daughter's results from the Colposcopy, and they're not brilliant. She still has some "bad" cells present, and has to have a follow-up treatment in July. Since she was bleeding for five weeks after the last one, it oviously takes some time for internal healing to progress to the point where further "poking about" can take place. Everyone is saying that at least she is on the lower end of the scale (CIN 1 and 2), but I still feel that we should go for a second opinion. She is going to make another appointment with her Doctor, and I'll go along for moral support and a talk. I think requesting a Private Consultation would be the very least we could do, and hopefully it will be comforting for her.

Next, their house purchase has fallen through! The couple they were buying from found a problem with their purchase (something in the survey), and so have pulled out. They were a bit upset about it, not least because they had spent money on a survey etc. But to tell the truth, I couldn't see them living in that house. I did tell Daughter this after it fell through, and she said that Nanny Daisy (the Boyfriend's Mother) had said exactly the same thing! Amazing. We old birds obviously have sharpened sixth senses (try saying that quickly). They very soon found another house they liked, just around the corner, but didn't get to the stage of making an offer before the owner phoned to tell them that he had just been made redundant, and so they wouldn't be moving right now! This Recession is really beginning to bite, it seems, and I fear that there is lots more to come.

At Hove Towers, I have had more chicks to tuck under my wing, in the shape of Honorary Grandaughter and her mother KT. They suddenly found themselves homeless last week (for reasons I won't bore you with) and so I have them staying here for the present. My nice Czech Student left to go home last Saturday, and my new chicks moved in on Wednesday. They will probably be here for about a month, until they can find something else, but I couldn't see them homeless when I have rooms to spare. In the meantime, I had another Therapy treatment a week ago on Friday (more on this later), and spent last weekend with Sister up in London, which was lovely. We made two trips to her local Ikea, which is just around the corner (what a treat!) and had dinner on Sunday evening with her Son and his girlfriend, at Pizza Express. Busy, busy..

It was Half Term last week, so I had Grandson here from Tuesday through to Friday and we had our usual fun and games. On Wednesday we went for the obligatory muddy walk up to the Jack and Jill Windmills, and then on Thursday it was a game of football on Hove Lawns in the morning and Tenpin Bowling down at the Marina in the afternoon. We nearly lost Grandson's new Spiderman trainers there when we exchanged our shoes at the end - the bloke in charge handed me a ropey old pair of size 12 Reeboks instead of the aforementioned new ones. I protested, and Grandson went fearlessly behind the counter and found them. Phew... Then on Friday morning we drove over to East Grinstead to the Museum, for a morning of Windmill fun. Grandson made a windmill or two, and asked lots of questions. We tasted bread made from flour produced locally, and came home with a lovely Windmills poster for Grandson's bedroom wall - hopefully for their new house, when they find one!

Roses in Winter?

2009-02-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

Oh for crying out loud (which is something else my Mother used to say), when is this bloody awful Winter going to let up. I was trying to remember when I was last this cold for so long, and I can't. I know we shouldn't expect sunshine and roses in February, but it has been freezing cold here for at least three months now, with no let-up. I've tried not putting the heating on and adding extra sweaters, and I light my log fires in the evenings to save a bit on gas and electricity, but even so I've still used far more than normal. And of course it's now twice the price it was a couple of years ago. I'm sure that EDF, British Gas et al. are rubbing their hands with glee at the thought of all that money coming in, but personally it makes me sick. Bring back the good old days I say, when gas and electricity were publicly-owned "Utilities", considered essentials for life, and didn't cost the earth. They didn't have shareholders then of course, so the element of pure greed that pervades most of the doings of private companies didn't enter into the equation. I know we can't go backwards, and it's not a good idea anyway, but I wonder if the current economic climate might just make us think twice about grasping for the most we can get. I was brought up not to be greedy, in any sense. In fact almost the worst thing you could do at a tea party was to choose the largest cake on the plate when they were being passed around. The shame of being thought greedy was simply not worth the gain. For a while it seemed a rather quaint and old-fashioned attitude, but I think it begins to make sense again. "Don't spend money you haven't got." was something else my parents used to say. And there's another good idea.
Do you think it might catch on?

I had a fab Birthday, with cards, flowers, presents and friends turning up all through the day on Saturday. Every time I looked out there was some other intriguing little parcel outside, and it was such fun opening them. I mostly waited for Grandson to arrive so that he could help me with the weighty task of unwrapping presents. And when he came, he was carrying a bouquet of long -stemmed roses and lilies which was nearly as big as him! His smile was wonderful to behold too. We all went to a lovely local restaurant, called The Coach House, for lunch. It has an open fire in the middle - very cosy on such a cold day. Son arrived from London just as the starters turned up, and we all had lovely food and glasses of wine. Then we wandered back home and had Birthday cake and tea (more presents waiting on the doorstep) before they all left. It was such a lovely day, and I think I've decided to have a Summer Party on the beach to celebrate my Birthday properly - it's just too cold and wintry to think of having a party now. Roll on the Summer!

I keep meaning to Blog more often, and to catch up with all my Blogging friends, but I'm not doing very well at the moment. I have been busy with some design work, which turned up out of the blue, more or less, and I have also been back for another therapy session. This completely blew my mind and senses away again - it was at least three or four days before I could think coherently. My Therapist gave me some homework to do, which involved metaphorically cutting the ties with my dead twin sister. It was a rather complex procedure, involving taking a warm bath, and with lots of candles and warm towels around me to create a comfortable and safe environment. I then had to visualize cutting the chord which joined us, with some imaginary golden scissors, so that we could each let go of the other. This I have done, and I do feel quite different - lighter somehow, and more positive about life. One of the things she said was that I have spent my whole life feeling guilty that I was the twin who survived, and consequently have not felt that I was worthy to live! Now this is big stuff, and all I can say is that during the session I was quite aware that I was dealing with huge issues. I was trembling and shivering, sobbing and trying to take huge breaths. It was, to say the very least, extremely traumatic, and it took me a good hour again before I felt able to concentrate on driving home. And when I was finally safe and sound at home, I just collapsed under several blankets and slept. I thought it would be difficult to write about this, but actually, it's fine. I feel as if I have shed several skins and can, somewhat belatedly, get on with my life.

A Snowy Day in London Town

2009-02-03T04:42:00.001-08:00

It was as if the world took a cold and snowy breath yesterday and decided to have a day off. At least my world did. We woke to a hushed and beautiful scene with nearly a foot of snow on everything: branches, grass, walls, trees, my balcony and everything in sight. Strangely there were practically no cars in the street - just mine and one other parked oppposite - and they were each covered in a thick blanket of perfect white snow. Sounds were deadened and the sky was grey. Snow continued to fall for most of the day; not serious snow, but a continual soft drift of tiny flakes over everything. A few people ventured out. I took some photographs of the views from my windows, and will try and put them on for you to see, if they're worth doing. We rarely have this sort of snow, so it was a delightful surprise really. And it meant that many people took a day out - an unexpected and cosy day off. Daughter and Grandson were forced to stay at home for the day as his School and her Office were both closed. The Boyfriend was at home too, so after a hearty breakfast of ham and eggs, they put on their warmest clothes and went out to make snowmen and throw snowballs. Later they went to a sledging slope nearby and whizzed downhill in Grandson's blown-up Paddling Pool - what a great idea! In between times they retreated indoors to get warm, and had hot chocolate and cosy food to keep their strength up. Despite the fact that they were snowed in (or perhaps because of it), they made the most of their time and the weather, and had a wonderful day. It was a day they wouldn't have had otherwise, because nowadays it seems that every moment in our lives has to be accounted for.

In London, Son managed to get to work on the Victoria Line, but was the only one in his office. At one point he wondered if he was the only person in Soho! He was pretty cheerful about it, and had taken some lovely photos of snowy London which he put on his Facebook.

I sat most of the day, by the fire, reading a delightful book which I re-discovered yesterday. My new Student, a very nice man from the Czech Republic, brought me a present: a book of short stories by a Czech writer whose name seemed familiar. When I looked among my old books, I found a lovely old gardening book which I had completely forgotten about: "The Gardener's Year" by Karel Capek, illustrated by his brother Josef. My copy was published in English in 1931, and the writer died in 1938 - before I was born. It is a delightful book - one I would recommend to anyone who is interested in gardens. It's charmingly naive (as are the drawings that illustrate it), and I spent a happy few hours buried in it yesterday when I could have been doing many other things. Thank heavens for that snowy day...

A Trip down Memory Lane..

2009-01-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

When I rummage in the capacious carpet bag that is my memory, I come up with some pretty weird stuff. Years ago, I was doing my English Literature A Level at evening classes. (This was in 1986, not long after my Mum had died.) But what sticks in my mind about that time is filling in the forms to take the exams, when my Teacher, whose name was Jill, phoned me to say she thought I had made a mistake when filling in my date of birth. I have always looked younger than I am (a blessing, I suppose) but she was really shocked when I said there had been no mistake. This was the first time for a long time that I hadn't lied about my age - and it taught me that this particular truth didn't pay. I couldn't help noticing a subtle change in her attitude after that, which amounted to ageism really. Ever since then, I have either avoided questions of actual age (Zsa Zsa Gabor said that only a stupid woman would tell the truth about her age, or something like that.) or I have told an outright lie. On the odd occasions when I have been tempted to tell the truth, it has been really embarrassing for me. The "shock/horror" reactions are so hard to deal with that I just don't do it any more. So there are few people who know how old I am (outside my family, that is) and I had intended to keep it that way. Except that I have a Birthday coming up and I'm beginning to think it's about time to come clean. Heaven knows what's the best thing to do, (and does it really matter?) but I've got about a week to make the decision...

More memories popped out when I heard the song "Africa" on Radio 2 the other morning. Eighties music makes me feel terribly sad. It reminds me of a time when the children were small, just before my Brain Tumour was discovered, and we were staying with a friend while the builders were doing our house. It was a hard time - winter of course - my marriage had come to an end and feelings of misery and homelessness pervaded our lives. I was continually ill, without knowing why. I caught cold after cold, and then a chest infection nearly turned into pneumonia. I had persistent headaches and my unhappiness meant that my two little ones were feeling lost too. It wasn't for another few months that the tumour was discovered, by which time we were living in our house. But that song brought it all back so powerfully. Music really does play a huge part in our lives - even that silly popular song (played by Terry Wogan as it was back then), was able to re-create a whole load of feelings that I had thought were dead and buried.

After a week without my telephone, I finally got it back this morning. A lovely chap from BT turned up very cheerfully at 8.30am, and set to work sorting it out. I had been borrowing my neighbour's phone, downstairs, and had tried phoning my own number several times, only to be put through to the Shahid Dinan Hair and Scalp Clinic! This happened to me, and to any of my friends and family who dialled my number. The patient people at this Clinic were very nice. They didn't complain, and in the end were explaining to callers what had happened to my phone!

I heard something really funny on T. Wogan's show yesterday. One of his listeners phoned in to tell us about a white van he had seen with the following message on its side:

Rajit Singh - Plumber. You've tried the Cowboys, now try the Indians.

I thought this was wonderful, and phoned a friend to pass it on, only to hear that it's an old joke, first seen on a Builder's van some time ago. Ah well, there's no such thing as a new joke I guess.

You seasoned Bloggers out there won't be surprised to learn that I'm still getting people logging on to my Blog in the hopes of finding "crutchless knickers" of some sort. Of course they go away disappointed - but it does amaze me (naive or what?) that there are so many people out there looking for that very item. I'm not really complaining - I should have probably anticipated the reaction - and it does help to keep the numbers up on a dull day!

Quite a Quiet Weekend

2009-01-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

I have been pretty much incommunicado since Thursday afternoon when my phone was suddenly cut off. I had been to collect Grandson for a long weekend, and walked in expecting to be able to have the usual chats with family and friends during the evening, only to be frustrated by a dead and silent telephone. I expected it to be a small hiccup, over soon, but here we are on Sunday evening and it's still out of order. I should have gone out on Friday and topped up my mobile, but Grandson didn't want to go anywhere (he was pretty tired) so I didn't venture out - and it was a foul day anyway. If I had known that I'd still be sitting here in silence, I would have forced myself out! But no. Consequently I ran out of mobile credit some time on Saturday, but having reported the phone fault on Friday, I foolishly expected it to be put right subito. Ho, Ho. Still no mobile credit. Still no Landline. And yet my Broadband is working. I don't get the logic of this (if there is any). So here I sit Blogging into the void and hoping for re-connection tomorrow.

I had Grandson here because Daughter was off on some business junket for her new job. Her Company had taken over the Rembrandt Hotel in Kensington for a Conference, and she was part of the hospitality and administration team. It all sounded rather posh, and she arrived back here yesterday afternoon looking very pale and not having had much sleep, as a result of all the entertaining they were doing. She didn't want a glass of wine either, so I imagine there was some over-indulgence involved. After her drive Daughter decided to stay over, which was lovely for me. So she caught up on her sleep and I had another cosy cuddle with Grandson. Plus I had a cup of tea in bed this morning. A rare luxury...

Anyway, we had had a lovely relaxing time, and Grandson was so pleased to see his Mum. He has been rather reluctant about eating his food at school, so his wonderful Teacher has devised a "smiley face" reward scheme for him; every time he eats his breakfast and lunch he is awarded a smiley face on the chart, and 8 smiley faces equal a reward. His chosen reward this week was "a muddy walk with Nana", so that's what we had on Saturday morning, and he couldn't wait to show Daughter his chart with no less that 12 smiley faces on it. I must say he ate every scrap of his food while he was here at the weekend, but I think the real object of the exercise is to get him to try a few new things when they are on the school menu. He has been refusing unfamiliar dishes without trying them first, and that's not a good habit to get into.

Students are thin on the ground at the moment, which is no bad thing really after my last experience. One of my Brighton BFs has just had her first student - a Chilean called Rolando whom her husband insisted on calling Ronaldo (he's a great football fan). I haven't heard the gritty details, but apparently he was both charming and a pleasure to have around. She only took him on a Bed and Breakfast basis for her first experiment, and it seems to have been a success. He has gone home today, and she was expecting her next two Students to arrive this evening. They are on half-board, so last week we worked out a rota of recipes in order to prepare her for cooking suppers as well. Then she learned that she would be having her Grandchildren over Half Term too, so she really is in at the deep end. For at least one of the weeks, there will be six of them sitting down to both breakfast and dinner every day. Let's hope she comes out of it smiling.

Yesterday was a black day for Spurs supporters. Tottenham Hospur were playing Manchester United in the FA Cup fourth round. It all started well when they scored a goal in the first 5 minutes, but it was downhill after that. In the end we were all shouting at the TV in frustration.
Even Grandson joined in because he couldn't understand why our team in the white shirts kept passing the ball to the red-shirts. They lost their get-up-and-go, stopped tackling the opposition, and strolled around the park as if they were winning, when they were actually losing. Sister phoned me (on my mobile) this evening and said she could hardly bear to watch it either. I haven't yet talked to Son about it, but I'm pretty sure his opinion will be unprintable...

Country Pursuits...

2009-01-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

I have been away again, this time to stay with my Aristocratic BF who, you may remember, broke her hip last March. She is now back on top form (I know this because she is continually complaining about her ill health - when she was really ill, she never murmured about it!). Anyway, I went last Thursday and stayed until Sunday, which was great. We caught up on all the latest news of families and friends, nearly completed a fiendishly difficult jigsaw puzzle (I left her with all the really impossible pieces), went for a couple of walks on sunny mornings, and spent the last day making marmalade. This entails endless squeezing of juice, chopping of peel, peeling of pith and boiling of pips etc. I had never made marmalade before, so it was both instructional and rather enjoyable. In all, it took about 4 hours of pretty constant effort, which was well rewarded by the row of lovely shiny jars lined up in her kitchen afterwards. I think I should try and join a local knitting, sewing or crochet group; this may seem like a non-sequiteur, but actually all those home crafts are connected, and they do bring a surprising amount of contentment and satisfaction. Plus, you have something to show for all your effort. I brought a jar of marmalade home with me, and can't wait to give it to friends and family with their breakfast toast. Come to think of it, I also have an unfinished patchwork and a half-done tapestry lurking somewhere in my cupboards. And if only I could remember how to crochet.
This may well be the start of something interesting..

Before going to my ABF, I had driven to East Grinstead last Wednesday for a Treatment which was part of my Christmas present from Son. The lady Therapist in question practises many alternative therapies, and I was keen to try something new. So I chose a combination of Health Kinesiology and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), and she also threw in some work on my Chakras and my Aura. It was a very intense two-hour session, and I came away feeling rather punch-drunk. I have spent the time since trying to remember exactly what happened, with very little success. I remember bits and pieces. She asked a lot of questions and I supplied a lot of answers. We went back through my history, and I remember I talked about the children quite a bit ("what a surprise", I hear you say!) She ended by saying that I had a wounded heart and a damaged Aura - both of which were fixable. And she gave me some homework to do. I have felt lighter, as she said I would, and inexplicably happier and more positive. I remember a little more each day, and intend to talk to her on the phone to clarify just what she actually did.
I certainly felt very emotional at the end, and she advised me not to drive for a while - good advice. I sat in a cosy cafe and drank a lovely cup of tea with a toasted sandwich. I don't actually remember much about driving home - even though I waited an hour before attempting it. It's certainly mysterious, but in a nice way. I intend to go back again , and will keep you posted.

Still no news on Daughter's results. She both looks and feels well, so let's hope it's good news.
Grandson is fine - full of beans as usual - and was very pleased to see me today after school.
We went home for tea and then he helped me to make a big pot of vegetable soup for his Mum when she came in from work. He stood on a kitchen chair and chopped garlic, onions, carrots and parsnips. Then we added some vegetable stock, a sprinkling of herbs and pepper and salt, and watched it bubbling away for a while. "I'm a good cooker" he said, and I had to agree. When Daughter came home, she couldn't wait to try it, and pronounced it delicious. My Little Chef...

Thank u Suzy Soo

2009-01-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

It's about time, I know, but many thanks to Suzy Soo for my award - I surely haven't deserved it of late, but hope to be worthy of it in future...

Time Out

2009-01-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling so very lost of late, that I don't really know where to start. There's not much doubt that it started with the stupid business with the Wee Git - quite why it affected me so much I don't know, but it did. I suppose I have been very lucky with Students in the past, and didn't expect that sort of difficulty. Anyway, that set me off, and although Christmas with the family was lovely, we were plunged straight into Daughter's Hospital visit, and then Grandson's grommits. It's no wonder I didn't feel much like celebrating the New Year.

As it happened, Grandson had an OK time in the WaterPistol. I wasn't actually there for the operation, because they had to have him at Epsom Hospital by 8am, but Daughter gave me a blow-by-blow account, and he was fine except for one ghastly moment when he fought to stay awake (of course he couldn't have understood what an anaesthetic would be like), and that upset her a bit. It all went very well though, and he was soon back in the Recovery Room, a bit groggy and staggering around as if he had had one too many whiskies. After he had been checked over and had something to eat and drink, Daughter brought him over to me in the afternoon. He seemed alright, but I couldn't help commenting on the green tinge to his skin! Bless him, he was pretty well, though very tired, and was happy to snuggle down in my bed with a hot water bottle and a couple stories. He spent the next couple of days with me and we chilled out. We went for gentle walks, visited the donkeys, and he ate and slept heartily, so he was much improved by the time I took him back home. He now tells everyone that his ears are protected, and that he can hear much better, which is good news.

The other bit of good news is that Daughter and the Boyfriend are buying a house in a village near where they have been renting. I guess the Credit Crunch is good news for some, and they managed to negotiate a good price on a house which has been on the market, without any offers, for 10 months. I hope that it all goes through without a hitch, but they have had a really hard time getting a mortgage, despite having jobs and a good deposit. The Banks, those greedy buggers, are still refusing to lend to people, despite having been given huge amounts of our (the taxpayers) money. They obviously think that Golden Brown wanted to make up their profits for them - poor devils - because they weren't making quite as much money out of us as usual! The whole thing stinks, and though I feel heartily sorry for ordinary people who are in financial trouble at the moment, I don't feel one jot of pity for the big earners and those financial institutions who have been making obscene profits for so many years at our expense. I hope they actually experience a bit of hardship - maybe even a bit of anxiety about paying their gas and electricity bills- just like the rest of us.

I think my malaise is a lot to do with not being a hands-on Mother any more; if I think back even to this time last year, I was in the thick of it, trying to sort out Son's Flat and Daughter's move. Lucky me, it was a full time job really, and now I miss it. I know that this is what happens, and that it's normal and healthy for my two grown-ups to get on with their lives without me. I just didn't expect to feel quite so redundant. I'm sure I will get used to it, and I'm resolving to get back to E-bay selling, and to enter some more writing competitions. My Horoscopes for the year are very good - apparently I have Jupiter in my sign to bring me good fortune, new directions and brilliant opportunities. All I have to do now is grasp them with both hands. Here goes...

Very Terry Wogan..

2008-12-31T13:24:00.000-08:00

Well here I am again, turning up like a bad penny, as my Mother used to say! It's New Year's Eve and I've decided not to go out to yet another party. Frankly, I'd rather gaze at my log fire, and occasionally glance at the TV. The nearest party is downstairs (again) but I don't want to risk getting dressed up and falling down the stairs (again), so they will have to do without me. Apparently Terry Wogan is staying in tonight too, so I'm in good company. He and Lady Helen are looking after some of their grandchildren - sadly I'm not doing that though. Daughter, the Boyfriend and Grandson are staying at home in Dorking, because Daughter had her latest Colposcopy yesterday and is feeling pretty awful today. I went with her to the hospital (and Grandson came too). The procedure didn't take long, but it was pretty painful and she was white as a sheet when she came out, and couldn't stop shaking for quite a while. We were given cups of tea by the nurses, and then I took her back home to rest. She will probably feel like shite for a couple of weeks, and of course we have to wait for the results. I do hope it will all be OK.

Before I came home we had another panic when Grandson was in the bath - lots of red spots appeared on his upper body and Daughter decided we had better take him to the Doctor. So we did: him in his pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers, Daughter wrapped in a rug, and me trying not to have hysterics. In the end it wasn't too serious - we came back with cream for the spots and some special Calpol. He had a slight temperature, the spots of course, and the Doc. could hear a slight wheeze on his chest. If he is sickening for something, it should appear in the next couple of days. And then of course he has his Grommits operation next Monday! Anything else? I drove home at about 7pm, feeling shattered, and could hardly get out of bed this morning. No surprise there!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, and I'm sorry that I wasn't around to join in all the Christmas Blogging. We did have a lovely time: Son, Daughter, the Boyfriend and Grandson were all staying here. We all enjoyed our presents, food and bubbly, and went for a walk by the sea in glorious sunshine on Boxing Day. I had my fireplaces sorted the week before, so we had lovely log fires to sit by and it was very cosy indeed.

At the end of his very first term at Big School, Grandson appeared in his first Nativity Play as the King who brings Gold! He looked wonderful in his costume and crown, and said his words perfectly: "I have got Gold." And then he turned to the audience and gave a triumphant thumbs up! It was a delight to behold, and we felt very proud. Come to think of it, that was one of the best moments of our Christmas.

The End.

2008-12-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

The best laid schemes and all that.. I couldn't have guessed how it would all end, but it was both surprising and, I suppose, inevitable. I should have known that I wasn't going to get out of that 10 week stint without some damage - and that's what happened. Are you sitting comfortably?

On Thursday morning I went into the en-suite bathroom that the Wee Git was using (as a favour and a privilege, since it is attached to the double bedroom and he was in the single bedroom) and noticed at once that a large crack had appeared on the base of the toilet. I examined it closely, and saw that the crack had come from an impact point just above it (where the outside of the toilet bowl curves out) and had spread down to the floor. Quite some damage, and probably unfixable, though it hasn't yet affected the toilet bowl, and isn't leaking. I wasn't best pleased, because that bathroom is (was) perfect, and immediately went downstairs and 'phoned the Language School to speak to the woman in charge of Host Families. I told her what I had found, and that I wasn't at all happy. She suggested that I should talk to the Wee Git about it when he came in. I went back upstairs and looked around for the piece of porcelain which had been chipped off - no sign - so I eventually emptied the small waste bin onto the carpet and there, nestling at the bottom, was the missing chip. It fitted perfectly. I now had a piece of evidence to the effect that whoever had done the damage had obviously decided to hide the evidence! I replaced all the rest of the rubbish in the bin and (luckily) kept the white chip in a safe place. I 'phoned back to the School and gave them the latest info. I had already called my plumber, only to be told that to supply and fix a new toilet (and remove the old one) would probably cost about £300. I was bloody furious by this time, and decided to go out and clear my head a bit.

When I came home, the Wee Git was already back from School, I asked him if he knew anything about the broken toilet. I was calm and perfectly polite. He denied all knowledge, and first of all said that it had been done when he arrived. Absolutely not. I knew this because I always clean the bathrooms to within an inch of their lives when I have guests or students. Then he said "Perhaps your Daughter?". That was as far as he got. Next " Perhaps your Friend?" I was livid that he should immediately seek to blame someone else. I told him that I was absolutely sure that it hadn't been cracked before HIS Friend stayed for one night a couple of weeks ago. He still denied all knowledge. Next I went to show him the contents of the bin - only to find, to my astonishment that he had emptied it!! This was the first time in 9 weeks that he had done any such thing! I asked him why he had done it and he blustered that surely I wanted him to empty it since he was going next week (?). I then showed him the perfectly-fitting chip which I had happily saved. He looked pale, but still denied all knowledge. I refused to speak to him for the rest of the evening, and over breakfast next day, told him that the woman from the School was coming to examine the damage. I could go on indefinitely, but suffice it to say that for two days he denied what was perfectly obvious, until I had had enough. And the opinion from the School was that he had pretty obviously done it, or knew how it had been done, and just wasn't telling. He kept on changing his story, and yet insisted that he was telling the truth. I won't bore you with all the details and the conversations, but in the end, yesterday, I'd had enough, and told him to go. He cried. And then, finally, offered to pay for the damage. I told the loathsome little creep that it was too late for that. He couldn't believe that I was actually throwing him out. He went off to spend the weekend in a Student House. This Student House is crowded, grubby, and he will have to cook for himself. He will also have to share a bathroom. He will hate it and, who knows, it may teach him something. Goodbye and good riddance. It will cost me probably £300 to fix the bathroom, and I'll lose this week's rent. I don't care - some things are more important than money. The End.

Crutchless Knickers Anyone?

2008-12-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

Oh how naughty, but don't blame me, it's all down to my friend MOB and her suggestion for getting my own back on The Wee Git. I think it's a great idea, but it has just occurred to me that I'll have to go out and buy some if I want to stuff them in his unsuspecting suitcase! Now this would be fine for some of my younger Blogging friends, whose intentions might be said to be thoroughly naughty, but I'm a Grandmother.. What do I say? "Oh, I'm just buying them for my Daughter." Or do I just stuff them in my bag and try to get out of the shop without getting caught? (This brings vivid images of Grandma Giles, if any of you can remember that cartoon, she would definitely have been up for it.) I know there are some saucy ads in even the Hove local paper for "older ladies" who are prepared to offer a "good time", but come on, that's not me. (Sorry, Billy, not even for you :-)

So now I need more suggestions. How on earth do I get hold of the crutchless knickers without getting into a really embarrassing situation? In fact, where do I find them? It's rather a long time since I was out there, if you know what I mean, and I'm not telling you how long it is since I last had sex. This is turning into a rather more complicated exercise than I had imagined. That Wee Git has a lot to answer for...

A Parting Shot...

2008-11-30T14:12:00.000-08:00

I've had a strange week. I don't seem to have done much, so haven't had anything to write about really. I'm being slowly but surely brought down by the continuing presence of The Wee Git. He never goes out, he doesn't have any friends, he just chips away at me all the time, and sometimes it's hard to laugh about it. I'll just give you one example. About a month ago he started asking me if I would wash his scarf at the weekend. I said "No. I do one load of washing for you once a week (that's the deal) but not at weekends." He kept on at me so I agreed, eventually, and he brought down not just a scarf, but a whole bag full of washing. I emptied out this bag to see what was in it and, guess what, no scarf! I called up the stairs: "Arif, I thought you wanted me to wash your scarf - it's not in the bag ." He stood there and said "No, I have changed my mind." What did I answer? "Funnily enough, so have I." OK, it's funny, and he isn't getting his own way all the time, but I have to say it's getting me down, and he doesn't give up - he has asked me the same question every weekend since.

Anyway, he'll be gone in two weeks, and I have to think of a parting comment when he does go. Perhaps we could have a little competition? Please help me to think up something really good to say when he's leaving. So far, my best thought is "I wish I could say it's been a pleasure having you here." I'm sure you'll have some much better suggestions. Bear in mind that his English isn't very good, and hasn't really improved, because of his steadfast refusal to either take a job or go out and talk to any real English people (we're lower-class and all that). Help me, please. I feel that after my 10 weeks of endurance, I need to have the last word.

A Day in the Life...

2008-11-22T02:42:00.000-08:00

As I walked up the hill towards Hove Station yesterday, I had no idea what was in store for me. I was planning a quick trip to East Croydon and then on to West Croydon, to find Lidl and collect some items that were waiting for me. This trip would normally mean a half hour or so on the train and some pleasant shopping, before returning home in time for tea. Huh!

12.15. It all looked fine. The train arrived on time and I climbed aboard. Five minutes later, when the train hadn't moved, we passengers began to wonder why. There came an announcement to the effect that the train could not proceed to London and would have to go back to Littlehampton (where it came from in the first place) and then approach London on a different line, through the Arun Valley. There didn't seem to be any choice, so we sat as the train trundled towards Littlehampton. This took about half an hour, and then it sat. And sat. Then we had another announcement. "There has been a fatality on the line in the Burgess Hill area. All services will now be diverted and delayed." Shock. Relief. At least we knew what was happening. I spotted a woman who was obviously deaf, and was desperately trying to find out what was happening. (The announcements were no use to her, and the destinations on the in-train display hadn't changed.) I gathered that she was going to Gatwick, so assured her that we were all in the same boat (or train), and hoped to get there, or thereabouts, shortly. Next we had to change trains, and trundled back, past Arundel, on the other line. All this had taken about two hours so far. Our next stop was Three Bridges (unscheduled of course), where we were told that the train would now go direct to Victoria without stopping. This meant hopping off and making for the opposite side of the platform for another train which would take me to East Croydon. As I stood there, I looked back and saw that the deaf woman was still sitting, all unaware, in the previous train. I nipped back across the platform and knocked on the train window, mouthing "You Gatwick" and motioning her to get to the door. Sadly, as soon as she moved, so did the train. I didn't have a chance to get the door open, and had to watch her being carried away on the fast train to Victoria! Back on my train, which stopped at every stop, we finally reached East Croydon, where I had to catch a tram to West Croydon. Daughter had told me it was easy, but she hadn't told me what to expect in Croydon. It's HUGE, and very confusing. It's also like being in an African country - not sure which one - because there were very few white, or even white-ish faces. After I jumped on the wrong tram twice, and jumped off again, I was pointed in the right direction and managed to find West Croydon. It was now 3.15 pm and I had been travelling for three hours. It was also freezing cold and trying to snow.

At West Croydon Station, I walked into what I first thought was a Police/Terrorist scenario. There were at least six Policemen wearing what I assumed to be "Flak Jackets" ( bright yellow and padded), and they seemed to be armed! There was also what looked like a portable detector (the kind you have to go through in Airports) with flashing lights and obviously at the ready for any incident! It was rather like a weird and very different Christmas display!

I had been expecting the Lidl store to be opposite the station, but it clearly wasn't. So I approached one of the Policemen (my Mum always told me to ask a Policeman) and asked him if he knew where Lidl was. He looked rather surprised, but was very pleasant and called another young Policeman over. Between them they pointed me in the right direction - another half mile walk against a freezing wind - and there it was. The Holy Grail. Lidl. And the Ski Watches which I had been told would be waiting for me. The Manager of Lidl was lovely - very polite and kind. In fact everyone I encountered was just the same. But I did have the feeling that I was in a foreign land - not an unpleasant foreign land by any means, but nevertheless, very foreign.

I scuttled back up the freezing street with my booty, waving my Lidl bag at the two Policemen as I passed. (Which could have been a really wrong move, come to think of it.) And headed for the sanctuary of Marks and Spencer, which I had spotted on the way down. Oh Bliss. A cup of tea and a turkey sandwich before the trek back home. I phoned my Aristocratic BF from M & S (since I had embarked on this Odyssey mainly for her benefit) and giggled hysterically as I told her what had happened. Then I embarked on the return journey. I was pointed in several wrong directions, but finally found a bus going the right way, and then a train at East Croydon. On the way back the train stopped at every station again (I guess they were still trying to catch up on the day's disasters and delays). And the quickest part of my journey was the one-stop train from Brighton to Hove. Home at 7pm - just in time to cook supper for The Wee Git, Oh Joy - and after 7 hours of travelling (if you can call it that).

Actually, I'm not complaining - at least I was sitting warm and safe on a train for most of the time. And I lived to tell the tale, which sadly was not the case for one unfortunate person that day. I do wonder what happened to my deaf lady (not that she was mine, but you know what I mean), and hope she finally got to Gatwick in one piece, if rather late. It's a complete mystery, but perhaps we were all meant to be sitting on that train for three hours, in a kind of limbo! Who knows what might have befallen us otherwise?

Three for the Water Pistol.

2008-11-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

My lovely Grandson has been to the WaterPistol again - Hospital to you and me. Actually he can say Hospital now, but WaterPistol makes it sound much more fun. The reason he's been is to have those gorgeous little ears checked - and his Teacher was right, he has a lot of fluid tucked away in there which is damaging his hearing. The Consultant thinks he should have gromits - and though Daughter was dreading hearing that, I think she knows it will help him. As I've mentioned before, she had three lots of gromits between the ages of 6 and 18, and in the end her hearing was (and is) fine. So let's hope it will do the trick for Grandson. I can't bear the thought that he will have to have an anaesthetic, but there's no alternative.

No. 2 for the WaterPistol was Daughter, who had to go last Tuesday to have another biopsy procedure for more pre-cancerous cells. These showed up in her Smear Test a year ago, for which she had a Colposcopy, and have now reappeared. I'm worried about this, of course, but she is taking it in her stride. And at least they are on to it quickly (within two weeks of her test). They have taken samples from three areas apparently, and she will have the results in about two weeks. In the meantime it's the same routine: no lifting, no sex and no-one smoking around her, and she has to rest. I had Grandson here for the weekend so that she could take it easy, and she did look better when she came to collect him yesterday. Of course she is working more or less full time now, so resting isn't quite as easy as it was last year. She does finish work early on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so I'm hoping that will be enough.

No 3 is my Sister, who is having investigations into some white stuff which has appeared under her skin near the joints of her fingers. Strange, but these white "strings" (they may be called nodules) sort of move under the surface - not while you're looking apparently- and aren't painful all the time, but can be when they are very close to the joints. They could be precursors to rheumatism or arthritis, She is waiting for the results of blood tests too. All in all, that's plenty to be going on with, I feel.

On a more cheerful note, Christmas is coming! It looks as if we will have all the usual suspects here again this year - Son and maybe a few of his friends, plus Daughter, Grandson and the Boyfriend. Plus anyone else who fancies turning up - I like to have lots of people around to help eat all the food and drink all the drink. I haven't started Christmas Shopping yet - that joy is yet to come, but I did go into John Lewis in Oxford Street last week (I went up to have lunch with Son and tea with Sister) and their Christmas stuff does look very tempting.I expect I'll go back again when I've written my Christmas List.

Like India Knight, who writes in the Sunday Times, I've been avoiding the news and the papers for a week now because I can't bear to hear or read about poor little Baby P. I feel I should be apologizing for all humanity that tragedies like these should happen at all. That little innocent didn't have a life, or any love, in his all-too-brief existence. Nor did he have a chance in this procedure-ridden society. Why someone didn't just walk into that house and remove him, I simply can't understand. Those who killed that little boy will surely go to Hell - if there is such a place. I'm not religious at all, but in this instance I sincerely hope that there is a Hell. Perhaps the most frightening statistic that came out of this was that, on average, two children are killed every week by their parents, family or step-parents. This is too horrible for me to contemplate. WHY? HOW? Is there no way we can protect these children? Save the Children? the NSPCC?
Children in Need? It's obviously not about money - just look at the amazing amount raised last week by Terry Wogan and the Children in Need Appeal. But WHY can't it prevent this terrible, terrible situation? I don't have the answers. But I carry the guilt - as we all must to some degree. Surely there must be something we can do to save our children?

My Meme is late..

2008-11-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry Suzysoo, it has taken me ages to do this, and I'm not sure it will be any good anyway:

7 Things I plan to do before I die:
Go to Vancouver - I once read a book about it and have wanted to go ever since.
See my Children happy and settled.
Get something published.
Visit my old friend in Sydney - though I'm not keen on 24hr flights.
Live in a house with a verandah.
See the Egyptian Pyramids and the Valley of the Kings.
Win the Lottery (shallow I know, but I could make so many people happy).

7 things I do now:
Eat too much, worry too much, count the pennies, cook every day, walk by the sea, sit up late Blogging, talk for hours on the phone.

7 things I can't do:
Ignore a crying child.
Drink whisky (because my Father was an alcoholic).
Eat jellied eels (ugh).
Run like I used to.
Stay up all night dancing (as I used to).
Drink coffee after lunch (it keeps me awake all night).
Handstands.

7 things that attract me to the oppposite sex: Well, if I can remember,

Nice hands, intelligence and wit, a love of music, generosity, a nice smile, a good body (of course) and a sense of style.

7 things I say most often:

"Bugger", "Oops, sorry", "Lots of love, Darling", "What do I know", "How's my precious boy?", "I'd love to" and " Night, Night, Sleep Tight"

7 Celebrities I admire: this is hard because I'm not much into celebrities.
Bette Midler (wonderful voice and sense of humour),
Twiggy (she's a survivor),
Biba (the original fashion queen of my youth),
Steve McQueen (he was so gorgeous),
The Beatles (my all-time favourite band),
David Beckham (great footballer, and I love football)
Katharine Hepburn (style incorporated).

7 favourite foods:
Fish and Chips,
Rabbit cooked with prunes,
Roasted Parsnip soup with Garlic Bread,
Toffee Ice Cream,
Good Olives,
Almond Croissants,
Sauteed Potatoes.

7 Bloggers who need to do this Meme: this is hard too, because lots of you have done it already, but here goes.. Dem Bones, Dem Bones: Dusty Spider: Family Affairs (though she may have done it): Made in Heaven (sorry Donna): Retired and Crazy: The Dotterel: Tea and Cake..

Of course, anyone who wants to do this one is welcome to take it on - come on you lot, we all want to know more about you. And if you don't want to do it, that's fine too. This is a Democracy.

We Shall Remember Them

2008-11-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning I went to the local Brighton Remembrance Parade and Service, which is held down at the Old Steine, by the War Memorial (incidentally, oppposite Son's old flat, the scene of our struggles last year). I was reminded that this time last year Daughter and Grandson stood on the balcony and watched the parade in the sunshine. This year the weather wasn't so good, but at least it didn't rain. When the gun fired at 11 o'clock, everyone fell silent, and there was no sound of traffic. Only the seagulls didn't observe the silence. They flew up and circled around, their strange, sad cries oddly appropriate. During the silence there was a fierce gust of wind which appeared from nowhere and made us all shiver. I was moved to tears, as always, particularly when I saw all the young cadets in their uniforms with their shining faces and polished boots, and thought of all those wonderful young men who went (straight from school some of them) to the dreadful trenches, never to return. Some of them had no boots at all, and walked with bloody feet, many of them blinded with that hideous mustard gas, to field hospitals that had no hope of coping with the numbers of casualties. And as for those poor Mothers - yesterday or today, to lose your children in a War is the most terrible thing.

Why do we still have Wars? It's the eternal question. I don't have an answer, and I don't believe that any answer is really good enough. Perhaps there will come a day when the world has had enough of killing. Perhaps..

Laughter and Tears..

2008-11-07T14:32:00.000-08:00

I know you have been waiting with bated breath, as they say, to hear what occurred at our dinner last Sunday. Gay Friend arrived looking smart as ever, and the roast dinner was timed perfectly. I called Mr Picky down and introduced him to GF. Mr.P had shaved (increasingly rare) and looked very clean. He seemed pleased to meet GF, but as he doesn't understand half one says, it's difficult to know for sure. I introduced GF as someone who "buys and sells old clothes". Now this was naughty I know, but I couldn't bloody resist it. And you should have seen The Wee Git's face (I have decided to re-christen him The Wee Git after a suggestion by my dear friend MOB). He looked confused, and then realized that I was serious. And Gay Friend insisted on engaging him in a conversation about the local Charity Shops and what good work they do for the Community. The Wee Git's face was a picture, but he obviously didn't dare to repeat his previous opinions about "lower class people" (GF is quite tall and imposing - and of course he's a bloke!), and retired 'hurt' soon after our meal. It was a great way to let off steam for me, and we laughed ourselves silly afterwards. For those of you who haven't heard GF's laugh, I'll try to describe it - a witch's cackle combined with a Steamboat hooter would come pretty close - but even then it's not quite right. And it is embarrassingly loud. So, a good time was had by (almost) all - and don't attempt to make me feel guilty you lot - you know I'm a softie when it comes to emotional appeals, but this Wee Git has been driving me mad for five weeks now! And I've got five more to go..

I somehow managed to get myself into an emotional two-and-eight today because I was looking at some old family photographs. When Daughter was living here with Grandson, a few years ago, she decided to put all my old photos into albums, and the result was wonderful. Instead of putting them in chronological order, she stuck them in, in a random order which makes them far more interesting and poignant somehow. So we have photos of my childrens' Birthdays next to pics of Grandson at six months, and then photos of my two as Teenagers or on family holidays. I came to a picture of Son, a friend of Daughter's, and Me, which was taken at Christmas in Cambridge about 7 years ago. I had forgotten this picture, but not the time. Son, who was in his final year at Uni, had been going through a particularly awful patch, with the break-up of his relationship with KT, Hon grandaughter's Mum. He was very depressed, she had treated him very badly (to say the least), and I was really fearful for him. Looking at this photo, in which he looks terrible - almost haunted - and I'm trying to smile and be cheerful, made me feel heartsick. I know we got through it and have come out the other side stronger and probably better, but oh, it was painful torture. Love hurts, that's for sure, and just looking at that photo brought such a surge of protective love for Son, combined with the pain I remember when I couldn't seem to make things right for him. I could have done without that memory today, but perhaps I needed it for some reason.

Ah well, time for bed. Sweet dreams to you all.

Not in my Country.

2008-11-02T02:11:00.000-08:00

How can I bear another 6 weeks of this? Rhetorical question I know, and I'll do it for the money, which has already been accounted for. But it's not getting any easier. As you may know, little Mr Picky has been looking for a job ever since he has been here. He hasn't yet found one - at least not one that pays. (And it may be uncharitable, but I wouldn't give him a job either.) Anyway, after applying to about 30 different hotels, bars and restaurants, he decided that he would go for the Charity Shops, of which we have many in Hove (and Brighton). He knew that this would mean not being paid, but decided that his need for English conversation was greater than his need for money. Needless to say, he wasn't doing it for altruistic reasons. (Don't forget, there are no poor people in Cyprus!) The nice lady Manager at Barnardo's gave him a job last week, and he spent 40 minutes there on Friday (came away sneezing because of the "dirt and dust" ) and about an hour there yesterday, before giving up completely. When I asked him why, he replied - and this is verbatim - "I think, Margot, that these are lower-class people." My jaw dropped. I asked him to repeat what he had said, and he did, without a trace of shame. He then said "In my Country, we do not do this. People do not buy old clothes." Oh my God - I nearly reached across the table and slapped him. I didn't, but smartly replied " Well in this country we do - and it doesn't make us lower class." He had to amuse himself for the rest of supper, because I could hardly trust myself to speak to him. How can this young man be so positive that he is better than everyone else? As Daughter says, he dresses like a 50 year old, in ghastly jumpers that Oxfam would be hard-pressed to sell. He has no social graces, and not much in the way of manners. He's so full of himself that obviously no-one else exists - especially not "poor or lower-class" people. If this is the way of the world today, I don't want any part of it. Thankfully, I don't believe that most young people feel this way - especially not in this country. But I'm forgetting, he's not that young is he?

On a sunnier note, I forgot to tell you that last Monday evening I went with a BBF to see and hear Candace Bushnell talking about her new novel "One Fifth Avenue". The evening was hosted by City Books, and it was great fun. Candace Bushnell (of "Sex and the City" fame) is 49 and looks about 30 - she is very thin and groomed, as one would expect of a celebrity New Yorker in her income bracket. She was dressed in (probably) an Armani little black dress, with impossibly high heels and carried a gorgeous Designer leopard bag to die for. We were both completely bowled over by her - she talked about her life, her writing and her characters, and kept the audience spellbound for nearly an hour. Lots of people asked questions, and she then sat and signed copies of her book for anyone who had bought one. I couldn't keep my eyes off that handbag - as BBF said, it probably cost around £800 at the very least. And her face (again BBF noticed that her forehead didn't move, but who cares?). And her giant diamond hoop earrings. And her perfect swooping fall of blonde hair. Not bad for a very bright and talented broad who's going on 50.

PS. I have invited Gay Friend for supper tonight. I may not have mentioned it, but he collects Vintage and Antique clothes, and has a huge collection, mostly in store, which he hires or loans out. He obviously visits all the local Charity and Vintage Shops on a weekly basis, and knows all the Managers personally. I am looking forward to this - sparks will fly I hope. Keep you posted.

Crumpets at Five O'Clock...

2008-10-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

Actually I've spent this week feeling very lucky. I went to the Doctor on Tuesday to get my black and blue foot checked, and he sent me to the Hove PolyClinic (very smart) for an x-ray in case I had broken any of those annoying little foot-bones. Nope. All intact, and the woman who did the x-ray said "I think you've got away with it." Just so - and what a bit of luck.

Half Term week for Grandson, and he went to a Football Course run by Chelsea (we'll overlook the fact that it wasn't run by the Spurs) at Daughter's local Sports Centre in Dorking. This was for children in Reception and Year 1 (4 and 5 year olds) and they did some training and then played 5-a-Side games. Grandson was apparently a star, scoring three goals on Monday and 4 on Tuesday. He came away with a medal and a certificate, and had a great time. Brilliant.

On Wednesday I went to collect him because Daughter was working an extra day. I was glad I did the journey, because the roads had been very icy early on, and when I got close to Dorking there was thick snow everywhere. Rather me than her, because I think it can be tricky to cope with icy roads when you are an inexperienced driver. Anyway, we had a good journey back, stopping for a muddy walk at the Windmills, and just chilled out for the next couple of days. We walked by the sea in a freezing wind yesterday, and gathered shells, seaweed and driftwood for his Half Term Nature Table. Good fun, but it was even better to snuggle up indoors in the warm.

Talking of chilling, this evening Mr Picky came downstairs for supper in his usual tracksuit, and told me that it was very cold in his room. I was surprised, because he is in my lovely, cosy single bedroom, which is actually the warmest room in the house (if you don't count the toilet). When I enquired further, he told me that his radiator was cold, and had never been hot! Never. I raced upstairs to check it, and, sure enough, it was stone cold! How I don't know, because I never turn any of the radiators off - perhaps someone else had done it? Anyway, I fiddled with the valves and turned up the thermostat, and sure enough it came on. I came back down and assured him that it was now hot - but I did wonder why he hadn't mentioned it in four weeks! It's a mystery.
I felt very sheepish, and said how sorry I was - let's hope he will now be snug as a bug in a rug.

Grandson and Daughter pootled off home this afternoon, with their pumpkins and their costumes for Hallowe'en. So at 5 o'clock I settled down in front of a rubbish film on TV, with a pot of tea and a toasted crumpet, and I thought to myself "It doesn't get much better than this." I had some sweeties at the ready in case I was asked to "Trick or Treat", but no. All was quiet.
No ghouls or ghosties here.

Did you enjoy your Trip?

2008-10-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

Oops. What did I do last night? Fell down the stairs... Well, I was on my way out to a Birthday Party for my neighbour's Fortieth, downstairs. I had taken the time to dress up (the invitation had specified " Sirens and Matinee Idols"). And though I wasn't dressed as a Siren, I had put on a long dress, a pretty frilled devoree jacket and some Chanel No.5. Plus, sad to say, a pair of high-heeled red velvet slippers. These were my downfall. I was carrying carefully wrapped Birthday Presies, a bottle of champagne and my keys, and then tried to lift up my dress to navigate the stairs. Too much stuff and not enough hands! I caught the shoes in the hem of my dress and the result was a sharp fall, a thump and a scream (from me) and a shout from Daughter who was (luckily) here watching the X Factor, and who ran to my aid. I sat awkwardly on the landing, pouring blood from my mouth and feeling very shaky indeed. It turned out I had put a tooth through my lip and twisted my foot - plus given myself a sizeable lump on the back of the head. Half an hour later, when the bleeding had stopped and I had stopped shaking, I did go down to the Party and enjoyed a glass or two of pink champagne, a few tasty bits of party food, and some good conversation. Today the foot is very swollen and I have a pouty lip, but there's really nothing much to show for my trip. How lucky. Daughter said last night that I'm "hard-core". Which translates as "I'm a tough old bird". She also said "You never cry, Mum." I thought about this and came to the conclusion that, over the years, it wouldn't have been much good to dissolve into tears when bad stuff happened. I was a single parent, so whatever it was, I had to deal with it on my own. Tough, but true. And at least I've also got strong bones -now that is lucky.

Before that mishap, the weekend had been pretty-well perfect. It started early, on Thursday afternoon, when I collected Grandson and brought him back here because he had no school on Friday (and Daughter was working again). We had a very lazy morning on Friday, and then went for a very muddy walk up to the Windmills. On Friday evening I had two parties to go to; the first was at the Foreign Language School which supplies most of my Students. They were having an official opening Party for their new building, which was very smart. There was delicious party food and pink bubbly and I chatted to a few interesting people. Then I whisked off to a Private View down at the beach, where there was more bubbly and some very tempting prints - sadly too expensive for me at the moment. As Daughter was staying here (she came down after work) I didn't have to worry about feeding my Student, and she sat with Hon Grandaughter and Grandson while I enjoyed myself. When I came back, she went off to meet some Brighton friends for the evening, so it all worked out perfectly.

On Saturday morning, after feeding my student, we all tootled off to feed the Donkeys and then had a spot of lunch before delivering Hon Grandaughter back to her Mum for a bit of shopping. Thankfully, as I said, Daughter was feeling so relaxed that she decided to stay another night with Grandson. If she hadn't been here, I might well have cried!

Big School in Words and Pictures.

2008-10-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

More photos! There's no stopping me now that I know how to do it! Below is a selection of pics from Grandson's first day at School - the first one before they left for School and the last one as he was coming out at the end of the day (I love the way the Teacher is shepherding him along.)

My lovely boy leaving for Big School.
With his "partner in crime", Thomas.

Keeping the crowd amused.

Looking after his Book Bag.

The end of his first day, in the rain.

I must tell you about Grandson's first Parents' Evening at his Big School. It was last Thursday, and Daughter had a good chat with his Teacher. She (the teacher) has discovered that Grandson's ears aren't too good - he is having difficulty hearing properly and making sense of things. She said that at first she wondered if he was "trying it on", but quickly realized that it was genuine. She recommended getting his ears tested ASAP, which Daughter has already arranged. I had a look at those lovely little ears at the weekend, and they are full of wax- which probably doesn't help.

We have had lots of ear problems in the past as Daughter's ears were a constant cause for concern when she was little. She kept getting ear infections, and ended up with a bad case of "glue ear". When she was 5 I discovered that she was almost deaf. One day she was walking away with her back to me, and when I called her she didn't respond. So I called her again, and again, louder and louder. In the end I was practically shouting, and still she didn't turn round. I panicked and rushed her to the Doctor, who said that she had simply coped with her increasing deafness by learning to lip-read - and without me realizing! He also said that it's quite a common response; children just get on with it and find a way round their problems. You can imagine how terrible I felt - she hadn't said a word to me, poor little scrap.

She had her first set of gromits when she was only 6, (what a nightmare it is to see your child being taken away for an operation!) and another two sets after that, the last being just before she went off to Uni. At one point, when she was about 10, the Specialist said that he thought she would be completely deaf before long - but in the end she did make a pretty miraculous recovery. And now her ears are fine. I do wonder if these things can be hereditary.

Anyway, to return to the Parents' Evening, Grandson's Teacher said that despite his ear problems, and the fact that he is one of the youngest in the class, he has the most stars! He tries so hard at everything, and loves answering questions. And he makes her laugh every day.

I think that's just about the best School Report anyone could ever have. Of course, I may be slightly biased.

Displacement Activity.

2008-10-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not having much luck with printing out my poems this evening. For some reason the bloody printer is just sitting here quietly humming away to itself and refusing to work!!! (That's after it got the first lot wrong and started printing out my entire file.) I expect I've pressed the wrong button somewhere. Oh Dan, Dan, where art thou? (I'll have to phone him in the morning.) It's too frustrating, so I've decided to try and add some more of my photos:

There you are - Grandson helping me in the garden, my little pond (home to Mrs Frog and the Tadpoles), another view of the garden with seat and semi-naked Greek lady statue, and a sparkly sea picture, with a white-sailed yacht taking centre stage. This is where I walk most days. "Perfick", as Pop Larkin would say.

Pictures at last - Peace and Love, Peace and Love :-)

2008-10-19T12:44:00.000-07:00

Daughter was here to collect Grandson this morning and I persuaded her to check out the photos I tried to put on before. It seems the files were too large. I'm hoping that this will work now...

Well, it has sort of worked - above you have Hove beach huts, with and without people, on a gloriously sunny day only two weeks ago. I thought it would be a lot quicker though. It has taken me absolutely ages to put these two on. And I was hoping to add lots more: I have photos of Grandson's first day at school, and of the Windmills, and of my garden. Maybe I'm not doing it properly, but I'll try and sort some more out tomorrow.

Ringo Starr gave me a great chance to chat to Mr Picky last week about that type of humour so beloved of the British, the ironic statement. Dear old Ringo - he really is hopeless, and the "Peace and Love, Peace and Love" bit was killing. (Terry Wogan enjoyed the joke too.)I tried to explain that irony is when you say one thing and mean something quite different, and gave him a few examples - one of them being Ringo's unintentionally (I think) ironic statement, i.e. for

"Peace and Love" read "get off my back and out of my life; you people are really annoying me." Mr Picky looked most confused, so no great success there. However, I have succeeded in teaching him how to hoover his room, (he calls it "hover"), and have also shown him how to wash up a cup and saucer. He has apparently never done either of these things before, and he has never, ever cooked anything. He keeps repeating that he is 25, but methinks he doth protest too much. I would guess him at 30 minimum. It's the greasy hair and the receding hairline that do it. And his repeated insistence that he is very clean. I have yet to meet a 25 year old Student who is so preoccupied with being as neat and clean. Or who needs quite so many towels.

The trip to Ikea on Monday was great. I bought the most wonderful white sheepskin rug to put my toes in when I get out of bed. And a sort of chandelier thingy to try on one of my ceiling lights. I'm trying to think what else I bought, but my brain has blanked - anyway I managed to spend £65. Oh yes, some gorgeous pretend paeonies in a stunning deep pink (silk I think, but just lovely in my new bedroom), a new Wok (well 2 actually, one for me and one for Daughter), and a set of bedlinen for Grandson with, guess what, windmills printed on in red and blue. I also spotted the bookshelves I want for my bedroom, but they will have to be ordered and delivered. Not by Ikea though - they want to charge £75 to deliver to sunny Hove! Luckily I've used a local "I Go to Ikea" service before, and it was excellent. They will only charge me £28 to collect and deliver the flat-pack. And then I can put them together myself.

" Oh No" I hear you say, "not the dreaded flat-pack. We've been here before". True, but now I know how easy it is....

The rest of the week was a bit of a blur, but I have sorted through my writing and have found some Poetry Competitions online. I'm intending to enter a couple of these this month (deadlines on 31st October) and then next month will go for another Short Story. What a busy, busy bee..

PS. Gay Friend called round yesterday morning, while Mr. Picky was "hovering", and I really wanted to introduce them. Sadly, they managed to miss each other. Mr Picky nipped out while we were having a coffee and a chat with Grandson. The best laid schemes - anyway, I've decided to ask GF to supper one evening, just to see what happens. Watch this space.

Catching Up...

2008-10-13T02:22:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to strangle Mr. Picky. He manages to wind me up every meal time with just the tiniest comment - and a smile... Yesterday, when I had had a lovely day and was all smiles, he greeted me at suppertime with the words "You look tired Margott". (He pronounces my name with a strong T, when as we all know, "the T is silent as in Harlow") This, of course, is a euphemism for "You look bloody awful Margott". Thanks, Mr Picky. And this morning it was no paper napkin - everything else was on the table. Oh f*****g domage! Thankfully, I'm going out for the day today, to Ikea, so I can forget all about him for a bit.

I seem to have become a weekly Blogger instead of a daily one. It's not intentional, but when I sit down at the computer, I feel so guilty about not having kept up with all my Blogging Friends that I spend all the available time reading and commenting. I'll just have to find a couple of extra hours to add on to the regular 24.

Last week was so busy too. After my two days of Grandson collecting on Monday and Tuesday, I had lots to catch up on at home, but boring things like paying bills and listening to the ever-gloomy news on the radio. As Terry Wogan (my Oracle) said "Why don't they just stop talking about it." I agree, this whole financial panic is self-perpetuating. The more we all rush headlong towards the cliffs, the more lemmings will follow. I for one am counting my blessings (yawn) and keeping my head down. Oh, and shopping at Lidl, where I saved a fortune on Friday!

Thursday I went to London, again, and was planning to drop in to Son's office to collect the Birthday scarf he didn't like ("I don 't think I'll ever wear it, Mum."), return it to John Lewis, and then have a bit of lunch with Sister who has been having a very worrying time lately. Just as I was walking from Oxford Circus to Berwick Street I had a text message from Sister to say that she couldn't make lunch as she had to take her Son to Hospital. Such a shame, but perfectly understandable. So I popped into Son's office, picked up the offending scarf plus a present for me, from one of his girl friends, (which also turned out to be a scarf), and then went in search of a cup of coffee. Even seeing Son for five minutes was fine - especially since he looked very well, very busy and pretty happy. That's alright then. I then spent the whole day walking round shops, looking at clothes, chandeliers etc. (I fancy some new chandeliers for Chateau Margot). I bought a card plus a gift voucher for our lovely Bank Manager who got married recently. Then I bought some food and water in the Food Hall and sat in the sun in the park behind J.Lewis with my picnic. More walking, more window shopping and a couple of hours later I was completely pooped. My little legs couldn't take any more, so I flopped down in the train and snoozed all the way back to Hove.

Friday was shopping at Lidl day - and Saturday I drove to see one of my oldest BFs who has returned from living in Cornwall and has moved back into her house in Chertsey. I'm delighted to have her back within easy reach again - Cornwall is just too far for regular visits. It was a glorious day, and Daughter and Grandson came over too. We met up at my BF's house and talked non-stop. Grandson and I played footie in her garden, and then we all had bsgetti and worms for lunch. Perfect. My Swiss Student left on Saturday too - it was sad to see him go. He is a lovely young man, only 17, but with nice manners and a charming and cheerful outlook on life. I think he enjoyed his stay with me. I got the "three-kiss" continental farewell and a promise to exchange e-mails. Wery nice...

The Princess and the Pea.

2008-10-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

My new mattress is absolutely wonderful. It was quite a challenge getting the old one out and the new one in. First I chose (a 4' 6" Sleepeeze Pocket-Sprung number) and ordered from Mattressman as aforementioned and, true to his word, he delivered it next morning. The chap who brought it was very pleasant, but fairly short, not particularly strong and on his own, so it was obvious that he couldn't get it up all my stairs. Luckily the lovely Guy, who did my floors, had volunteered to come back and put the bed together again for me, so between us we somehow managed to heave it up the three flights of stairs. When the bedstead was ready, we manoevred the mattress on top and Guy took one look at it and said "You'll need a step-ladder to get up there." True enough, the new incumbent is possibly eight inches deep and therefore much thicker and higher than the old one. And I'm only 5 ft 2 ins. Hadn't thought of that! It's fun getting in and out of bed though, and when I'm perched up there with my mosquito net and my little sparkly paper lanterns draped around it, I really do feel like the Princess and the Pea.

The old mattress went down the stairs like a rocket, I just pointed it downwards and hoped it didn't smash into anything on the way down. The Council came and took it away on Friday morning, and I let it go without a backward glance. It took a lot of history with it, and I'm absolutely ready for new beginnings. I've reclaimed my bedroom, and there's nothing in it that doesn't belong to me. I've got rid of everyone else's rubbish and I just love the look and feel of my own space. I've re-hung the pictures and I'm going to buy sheepskin rugs to snuggle my toes in when I slide out of bed in the mornings! What Larks...

I have two Foreign Students now. The second one arrived last Friday and is a completely different kettle of fish from my Swiss boy. He is from Cyprus and says he is 25. If this is true, I'm a monkey's uncle (as my Mum used to say). He is small (about my height) with receding black curly hair, and he wears nail varnish! He is also extremely picky. He hadn't been in the house five minutes before he was asking for another towel (he already had two), more blankets for his bed (ditto) and was complaining about being cold. Of course he has been used to temperatures of 30 degrees or so (lucky man) and that was why I'd given him two extra blankets already. Anyway, he has started the way he means to go on, and finds something new to request every day. As he is planning to be with me for 12 weeks, this could be tricky. This morning it was warm milk for his cereal and coffee (perfectly reasonable) and this evening it was tea after dinner (again, not unreasonable). But it seems that everything I do isn't quite enough. I have a plan though - I'm going to introduce him to my Gay Friend. I think it could be a match made in heaven.

Yesterday and today I picked up Grandson from School. Foul weather and pouring with rain today, so we retreated indoors and had a cosy time playing with his wooden railway track. He is tired though, and really doesn't want to do more than chill out after a day of reading, singing and eating lunch. Today, apparently, he was on the School Computer. Tomorrow, he'll probably be showing me how to do it. When Daughter arrived home, she looked tired too. She seems to be doing extra days every week. I couldn't stop to chat though, because I had to rush back to cook for my two Students. Tonight it was homemade soup with pitta bread (he asked for more, so that's a compliment) followed by chilli con carne, baked potatoes and steamed broccoli. No dessert because I didn't have the time to make any. Come to think of it, that's probably why he asked for a cup of tea.

Dear old Terry Wogan, he plays some good stuff. I'd forgotten about Clifford T Ward and that old song he sang: "I could be a Millionaire.. If I had the money!" My sentiments exactly..

A turn-up for the turnip!

2008-09-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

What a hoot. I heard this on "Saturday Live" last Saturday, in an impromptu poem written by one of the guests. Apparently sales of turnips have doubled in the current financial situation. People are buying more root vegetables and are going back to cooking basic, nourishing and (let's face it) old-fashioned food. Cool. I've never really stopped cooking old-fashioned food. I like simple stuff: homemade soups, cakes and puddings, roasts and stews. And it turns out these are what people are going back to.

Buying the mattress is progressing. Today I went on a mattress hunt while the last coat of floor paint was drying. I overcame my embarrassment and managed to lie down on several very smart mattresses. I made one salesman laugh when I confessed that my current mattress is 30 years old, and therefore older than him. Ugh! I dread to think how many generations of dead dust mites are piled up in that mattress. It's not going back on my bed, even if I have to lie on the (newly painted, beautiful white) floor. I've discovered that the local Council will take my old mattress away for a measly £8.60. Cheap at the price. Tomorrow I start on touching-up the walls, painting the skirting boards and moving everything back into my bedroom. If I can manage to make a decision on the mattress, I could have it delivered (free) on Thursday. And as my new Student is arriving sometime on Friday, I'd better get a move on.

I have been relieved of my Grandmotherly duties this week because of having so much to do here. I miss the little tyke though. Today being Tuesday, it felt rather odd not to be driving to Dorking to pick him up. (The Boyfriend took today off, and was going to collect Grandson from school this afternoon.) I did telephone to say hello at tea-time, but he wasn't really interested. He was watching something riveting on TV, so all I got was a "Hello Nana" and a kiss down the phone. Never mind, I'll take whatever scraps I can get.

I had a phone call from Daughter this evening. She had been out for a meal with some of the girls from the office, and was driving home, talking to me on her new hands-free phone. Today she had also had a conversation with one of the Managers at work, who was asking if she would consider taking on a Senior Administrator's job. They have been so pleased with the way she has handled the travel section over the last ten days, that they are moving her up! Already. Not that I'm surprised - I know how smart she is, and I'm so proud of her.

My new Foreign Student is another very nice young man. He arrived on Sunday afternoon from Switzerland. His english is pretty good, and he is very together considering that he is only 17 years old. Yesterday was his first day, and I started it badly by oversleeping for the very first time since I have been taking students. For some reason my alarm didn't go off, and I woke with a start at 8.10am. As breakfast is at 8, I was late. Bless him, he had eaten his cereal, without milk, and was very gracious about my lapse. I hastily gave him orange juice and made fresh coffee and toast. Oh dear. It wasn't a good start, but he laughed about it, and went off very cheerfully. I put a new battery in my clock and managed to make it on time this morning. Phew..

Pink, pink, pink..oh, just get on with it..

2008-09-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

Sitting on my balcony this evening with a glass of pink wine, looking at pink clouds in the sky and watching an unbelievably pink jet-trail making its way across the sky, like a jewelled feather. It has been the most perfect day today, and if the old-fashioned weather forecasting methods are to be believed, it will be lovely again tomorrow. I do hope so, because I have spent most of today indoors, painting. Not the artistic sort of painting, but the domestic sort - with a brush, a damp cloth and a pot of Regency White acrylic eggshell. It all started on Monday this week, when the long-awaited makeover of my two double bedrooms began. It has meant completely emptying each bedroom in turn so that the manky old carpet could be lifted, cut up and taken to the Tip.
Daughter, the Boyfriend (and Grandson) helped me move the furniture on Sunday, so that I was ready for Monday morning. Promptly at 9am, the lovely Guy arrived to cut up and dispose of the said carpet. He then proceeded to sand, repair and fill gaps in the floorboards, and finally painted them with special floor paint. A lovely off-white colour. It looks gorgeous - a sort of cross between a beach hut and a New England house. The only problem was that as soon as we started putting furniture back, everything else looked tatty. Hence the reason why I have spent today painting. I have done the chest of drawers, the base of the Rocking Horse, and all the skirtings. And I have washed and re-hung the blue and white striped curtains. And rehung the pictures, which I've decided can only be sea-themes. So we have sea horses, painted beach huts, a collection of shells and miniature boats and a lovely beach scene. My hands are a total mess, but it all looks great. Well worth doing.

It took 3 days to do the first room, including an impromptu decision give the walls a fresh coat of white emulsion because they looked so awful when the floor had been done. And now we are at Friday, with me sleeping in the spare room, and the floorboards in my bedroom undergoing the same treatment. All well and good, but I have a Student arriving on Sunday, so all the stuff which was dumped in the single room has to be moved in with me tomorrow. Never mind, it will be wonderful when it's finished.

I have also decided to buy a new mattress for my bed, which is long overdue. When I was talking to the lovely girl at Mattressman (where else?) she asked how old my current mattress was. I was reluctant to admit to it, but did say that Son was 29 and my mattress was about the same age (actually I'm ashamed to admit that it's even older). She laughed and said that any mattress I buy now will be manufactured quite differently from the old one, and that I should go and try some mattresses before deciding on anything. She was very nice, and that does seem reasonable, but I'm reluctant to go into a bed shop and lie down, as she suggested. I have to decide soon, as I know that if I wait until my room is finished and the bed reassembled, I just won't do it. I have a lovely old oak bed, and when the floor is painted (and everything else I expect) the room will look wonderful. I know what you're thinking, photos are needed, and I promise to get my act together.

One of the reasons why I have been such a dilatory Blogger of late (beside the aforementioned activity) is that I decided, a month ago, to enter a Short Story Competition. I didn't want to talk about it beforehand, as I often find that if I talk about things I just don't do them. This time I was determined to actually get on with it, and I have been writing, editing, re-writing and generally agonising over it for the last four weeks. I gave myself a deadline (in fact the actual competition deadline is 30th September), and I stuck to it. I have been structuring my day so that I walk, shower, breakfast and then write. And it did work - I've posted my entry, and somehow it doesn't matter in the least what the result is - or isn't. The fact is that I've done it, and I'm going to do it again. Next month I'm going to find another competition to enter. It's all very well me calling myself a writer, but actually it's time to JFDI.

Last weekend with Grandson was just lovely, and we were very lucky with the weather. On Saturday we walked along by the sea to the playground, and spent a lively few hours there with a picnic. Then on Sunday morning we met up with Daughter and the Boyfriend at the Car Boot Sale, where I found a new copy of "The Tiger who Came to Tea" for Grandson. We came back here and moved furniture, and then went off to the Jack and Jill Windmills for the last time this year. It was the perfect afternoon, with a blue sky and a brisk breeze. I'm perfectly happy just sitting there in the sunshine with a cup of tea, watching the sails go round - it's quite magical.

Apologies to All...

2008-09-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

Well, now I'm really hopping mad - despite having published this Post earlier today, it has now been wiped out by F****** Blogger. Grrrr. And though I had already had a couple of comments from friends, these have been disappeared too. I'll try to remember it. Basically, the gist of it was that Blogger will not let me publish the photos I have been promising for so long. Can't work out what's wrong, so I will have to call in Dan the Computer Man to help. So sorry. And when I try to log on to other Bloggers and leave comments, my computer keeps just freezing. It won't do a thing, and I have to turn it off and try again. I'm very fed up with it and do apologise to all of you. I'm not neglecting you, but I just can't seem to make it work properly. I promise to fix it ASAP and get back to you all very soon.

The weather is lovely here - a real Indian Summer. When I walked by the sea today it wasn't sunny to begin with, but there wasn't a breath of wind and the sea was flat and calm, with the soft sheen of a blue pearl. As I turned for home, Worthing Pier was quite clear, and the sun came out and turned the sea a darker blue. Gorgeous. There was a lone fisherman on the shore, and a lone swimmer breaking the surface of the sea with regular strokes. Wish you were here..

Must go, as I have to collect Grandson from school this afternoon. He is coming back with me for the weekend, so that Daughter and the Boyfriend can have some time to themselves. At least that's my excuse. I'm sure we will have a lovely time together, just chillin'...

PS. Another apology - to Dusty Spider and to Maggie May - thank you for visiting and commenting earlier. I did get your comments, but Blogger has since whisked both you and my Post away into the ether - vanished without trace. So if you're reading this strangely altered post for the second time - and wondering where your comments have gone - sorry, but I haven't a clue!

Time to go, Golden...

2008-09-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, Gordon Brown, just get on your bike and let us get on with our crisis without you. Honestly, we know that you're not in the least concerned to help, you're only worried about your own status, and wouldn't have a clue how to read a gas meter anyway. And as for sacking the poor woman who had the nerve to question your leadership, well, we're right behind her. We know what a bully you are - that sort of news travels fast - and we have no wish to detain you further. Goodbye and Good Luck (and good riddance).

I'm sorry that another week has passed without any news (I nearly wrote "newts" - how appropriate) from me - it's just that I seem to be very busy, and then in the evenings I sink down and can't be arsed to get up again. Sorry. Last week I picked up Grandson from school on Tuesday, and could see that he is getting used to the discipline. He spotted me waiting, but stood behind the line with his Teacher until it was his turn to move. In the meantime, he called out and blew me a kiss, just in case I hadn't seen him. What a sweetie. We went home and sat with tea and cakes, played a few games and generally chilled out until Daughter came home from work. It's going to be my regular day for the time being, so I will be off again to meet him tomorrow. We had a bit of an upset at the weekend though, which I really should have seen coming. It had been Grandson's first full week at school (5 days of 8.45am to 3.10pm) and Daughter had ended up working four days too. Neither of them had done this before, and come Saturday they were both tired and tetchy. When I spoke to Daughter in the early evening she was very tetchy indeed, and let me have it when I defended Grandson. I tried to be reasonable, but couldn't get a word in. In the end she put Grandson on the phone and he said "It's not my fault Nana, it's Mummy. She won't listen to me." Well, what would you do? I knew it would be my fault, so I just rolled over. Of course I always defend him - he's only little. And has there ever been a child who would admit to being tired? Finally, she hung up on me in a temper, but luckily I was just going out for dinner with a friend and so I didn't sit here stewing about it. Later she phoned and left me a long apologetic message, saying that they had sorted it out and he had gone to bed after a cuddle and a story. Never mind, I've got broad shoulders. And anyway, a Mother's place....

We had a lovely weekend, weatherwise, so I walked beside the sea a couple of times (sorry Aims, just clean forgot my camera!) and spent several hours in the garden, doing an Autumn clearout. I also attacked the pond, because my water Irises have just got out of control. I dug out quite a few big roots, and at one point disturbed a large frog. We just looked at each other for a couple of minutes, and then it swam off to the other end of the pond. I was very pleased to see it, but couldn't find any of the babies. I do hope that they are OK. Hon. Grandaughter was here on Friday night and Saturday morning, which was lovely because I hadn't seen her since July. She was trying to spot the frogs, and her fish, but the duckweed was just too thick. It's her 10th Birthday next Sunday, and when I asked her what she wanted she said that she only wants either a Pony or a Cat. I have to say, she won't be getting either, but I wonder if I can think of a creative way of making her wish come true?

Speaking of Birthdays, Son will be 29 tomorrow. Another year has sped past, and when I think back to this time last year, things have really improved for all of us, but particularly for him - not that I like to tempt Fate. He phoned me on Saturday night from Ireland, where he was attending an Awards Ceremony for another part of the Music Industry, He sounded pretty drunk (why else would he phone his Mum?) and told me a long story about having gone up on stage to collect an Award for someone who wasn't there. Apparently he was then thrown out (!!) but came back to do his DJ set. And great fun was had by all. Did I say he's 29 tomorrow? Am I sure?

The other lovely thing that happened last week was that I went up to London on Thursday, spent a few hours looking around the shops at gorgeous clothes I can't afford, and then met up with Son to go to a private club in Soho. It was very smart and exclusive, and we sat in the top floor bar (which is a Roof Garden in Summer) drinking spritzers, listening to new live Artists for Son's work, and eating the most delicious food. (I had wonderful queen scallops with a very delicate saffron risotto.) Altogether a great evening. When I was on the train home, I sent Son a text saying how much I had enjoyed the evening, and he sent one back saying we should do it more often. Lucky me...